Why I Quit Drinking Alcohol for Good
Tomorrow is my first anniversary of sobriety, so I'd like to discuss why I quit drinking alcohol for good. It hasn't been an easy road, but the rewards have been endless.
Life Before I Quit Drinking Alcohol
I had a difficult relationship with alcohol. When I first started drinking, it was because I struggled with social anxiety. Without the false confidence that alcohol gave me, I didn't feel like I could be fun and social.
From there, drinking became a habitual part of socialization. Drinking in excess is a huge part of young Australian culture, so I wasn't alone in this behavior.
Other people seemed to be able to drink in moderation. They could have a few drinks and actually enjoy themselves. I saw others having what appeared to be a positive or neutral relationship with alcohol.
However, I live with borderline personality disorder (BPD). My emotions are unstable at the best of times, and alcohol often pushed my BPD symptoms over the edge. I ended many nights crying hysterically, believing that I was unloveable and alone. The smallest things could set me off when I was drunk.
Alcohol also opened the door to other harmful activities. I couldn't control my drinking, so I would keep going to the point of misery. Under the influence, I often craved drugs and other self-destructive behaviors. By drinking so much, I relieved myself of all responsibility and let the events unfold.
The turning point came in Lima, Peru. I ended a night out so wasted that I had no idea where I was or who I was with. My now-husband had to rescue me in the middle of the night from a dangerous suburb. It was finally a wake-up call to my problem drinking.
After I Quit Drinking Alcohol for Good
At first, it was challenging to quit drinking. I had such a social dependence on alcohol that I didn't know how to act without it. I felt like a boring shadow of a person, and I felt the cravings intensely.
However, as more time has passed, I've noticed that things are improving. My emotional state has become more stable on a day-to-day basis. Because I'm not messing around with the chemicals in my brain, I feel more in control of my emotions. I still have bad days, but they are more infrequent.
I also live with less shame. I did so many things that made me feel terrible and worthless while I was drunk. So often, I was full of regret and deep embarrassment. Now that I am clear-headed and acting more rationally, I have a better relationship with myself. I no longer harbor such deep self-hatred, and I feel more confident.
Quitting alcohol has not drastically fixed all of my problems, but I feel like I am on the right path. Tomorrow I celebrate my first anniversary. I look forward to the anniversaries to come.
How I Quit Drinking Alcohol for Good
In my video post below, I discuss the techniques I've used to stay sober and quit alcohol for good. What has your relationship been like with alcohol? Have you successfully quit drinking alcohol or another kind of addiction? Let me know your experiences in the comments.
Beveridge, K. (2020, December 20). Why I Quit Drinking Alcohol for Good, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, February 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/borderline/2020/12/why-i-quit-drinking-alcohol-for-good
Author: Kate Beveridge
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences with BPD and CONGRADULATIONS on your sobriety anniversary! Keep up the good work and the inspiriting well written articles.
Thanks! Glad you're enjoying the articles and thank you for your good wishes.