Are You Being Manipulated by a Gaslighter?

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Are You Being Manipulated by a Gaslighter?

If you are being manipulated by a gaslighter, there’s a good chance you might not even be consciously aware of it. Gaslighters are notoriously good at what they do. Here are some questions to ask yourself.

  • Have you been (or are you now) in a relationship that makes you feel squeamish, negative, and confused but you can’t quite pinpoint why?
  • And when you do try to figure out why you feel that way, you end up thinking that the issue isn’t with your partner but with you?

If so, you may have been (or may now be) in an abusive relationship created and perpetuated by a behavior called gaslighting.

Effects of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a sneaky form of abuse that involves cruel and calculated psychological warfare. In this type of abuse, the gaslighting abuser torments their victim to make the victim question their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, behavior, and memories. Someone using gaslighting techniques against another human being continually confuses their victim by chipping away at their perception of themselves, others, and their world. The primary effect of gaslighting is that over time, victims of gaslighting lose trust and faith in themselves and are made to feel completely reliant upon their abuser, even grateful that the abuser bothers to care for them and help them through life.

If you suspect you’re involved with a gaslighter (note that gaslighters and their victims can be either gender), reach out for help. A counselor or therapist can help you make sense of your experience and can point you toward resources in your community that help people safely leave abusive relationships.

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Your Thoughts

Today's Question: If you’ve been in a relationship with a gaslighter, at what point did you begin to realize that you weren’t the problem? We invite you to participate by sharing your thoughts, experiences, and knowledge on the HealthyPlace Facebook page.


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Meredith Marin sees the anxiety in her childhood only in hindsight. It wasn't until she was 20 that she reached out for help for her anxiety and panic attacks. It took time, but her panic and anxiety is largely under control. We'll also talk with Dr. Candace Good about recognizing anxiety in yourself and children, when it's time to get help, and what that help might look like.

I hope you join us for Thursday's HealthyPlace Facebook Live. Thursday, March 4, at 4p ET / 3p CT. We welcome your comments and experiences and our guests always answer your questions. You can check out our mental health interviews playlist or watch last week's Facebook Live: I Think I Was Misdiagnosed! Now What?


From the HealthyPlace Mental Health Blogs

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Job hunting while living with bipolar disorder can be a great challenge. However, there are ways to stay motivated and function optimally. Watch this to get some tips.

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Self-Help Quote

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"When you're at, you're never alone."

APA Reference
Peterson, T. (2021, March 3). Are You Being Manipulated by a Gaslighter?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 21 from

Last Updated: March 2, 2021

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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