A Smiling and Best Bipolar Me

March 8, 2010 Cristina Fender

I haven’t felt like the best bipolar me in over two weeks. The Lithium finally kicked in and I was sick. I was nauseous after my night time meal and so drowsy during the day that I could barely keep my eyes open. I let it continue for two weeks. I thought that I just had to get used to it. Fortunately, I got tired of it and decided to do a little research. I found some information on Lithium and nausea that suggested that I split up my dosage into morning and night instead of just dosing at night. The results were amazing. I started to become the best bipolar me.


Yesterday I became the best bipolar me.

I smiled, was awake, and my husband told me that I seemed happy. Wow, that put another smile on my face. I seemed happy? How long had it been since I seemed happy for no apparent reason? I couldn’t remember. Today was even better. I felt high, but not too high. Just high enough to keep me going. I spent so long dragging myself through the everyday battles of life that I forgot what it was like to be a happy person.

I accredit my bipolar recovery and becoming the best bipolar me to empowering myself.

I took charge at the last appointment with my psychiatric nurse and I told her that I was experiencing the mundane on a regular basis. It was like I was just going through the motions. She heard my disheartened plea and she agreed to up the dosage of my Lithium. But, I’m the one that swallowed the pill. I’m the one that researched why it was affecting me so irregularly and I made the correct change. Here I am now—a smile on my face.

I know that the Lithium will level out some and the high will leave, but I have faith that the best bipolar me will stay.

I’m prepared for that. But while it’s here I plan on using it to my advantage. I’m applying to community college. I want to get my basics out of the way. And then I want to go onto university. I have a dream of becoming a social worker that works for and advocates for mentally challenged clients. It’s either that or a writer. Maybe I’ll do both. If, indeed, these meds are correct, I could well be on my way to bipolar recovery. I’d like nothing better than to spend the next six months in mood stability. And why not? The world is, after all, my oyster!

APA Reference
Fender, C. (2010, March 8). A Smiling and Best Bipolar Me, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 18 from

Author: Cristina Fender

March, 15 2010 at 4:27 am

I have been bipolar all my life (Grandmother and Mother also) and am now
I have been through a lot and every medication known. 20 years ago I decided to take only lithium and not be enticed by every new drug that came on the market as suggested by various psychiatrists.
Naturally there have been times over the years where I have needed some anti-psychotic or anti-depressants combined with lithium. But the longer I have been on lithium the less I have needed these.
You can become stable, but it will take time, and you have to be strong and know all about that other you, to conquer her when the time comes.
Keep at it.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Cristina Fender
March, 15 2010 at 5:47 am

I've given my bipolar three years on medication. I shudder to think of all the wasted time I've had taken away from me. I don't have any more time to give it. I've chosen to take charge of my care and I will be stable beginning this year. There's actually a lot of research out there that states that bipolar only gets worse as you get older. I'm not willing to take that chance, so I'm being proactive about my mental health.
Thanks for telling me to keep at it.

March, 11 2010 at 4:38 am

I have been taking Lithium for 10 years now, since I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 at Pisa Hospital in Italy. I still take my Lithium and feel great now.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Cristina Fender
March, 11 2010 at 3:23 pm

I think that the stability you are discussing is exactly where I want to be.

March, 10 2010 at 9:51 am

I'm surprised that you changed the dosage yourself. Isn't it better to consult with your health care provider first?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Cristina Fender
March, 10 2010 at 9:54 am

I didn't change the dosage. It stayed the same. I merely split it into two doses like my psychiatric nurse had previously suggested.

Robert Kelly
March, 8 2010 at 9:50 am

Hi there, I believe I have manic depression. I have to take antidepressants and a mood stabiliser called Tegretol, which was pretty powerful at first - but I have found that my body has got used to it. My mood can be so volatile that I can be aggressive and I like to smash things up like an idiot. Trouble is I get arrested by the police who do not understand much. Should I try Lithium Therapy or is Tegretol a more modern, better drug? I realise you're not a Psychiatrist and will take your advice lightly.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Cristina Fender
March, 8 2010 at 10:28 am

Hi Robert,
I've never taken Tegretol, but it is one I've considered if my Lithium doesn't work. I've been on Lithium for a few years now. This will be the last increase to it, I believe. Lithium is a tried and true medication, regardless of how long it's been around. Hasn't Tegretol been around for a long time, too?
It doesn't really matter. What matters is does it work? If it works for you keep with it. If it doesn't, you dump it for another mood stabilizer.

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