Introduction to Randall Law, Author of 'Creative Schizophrenia'
I’m Randall Law, the co-author of the blog, Creative Schizophrenia. I’m an often clueless father of three, a work in progress husband to one, a rabid sports fanatic and an unemployed physician assistant learning to live with schizophrenia while renovating a farmhouse built in 1910.
Randall Law Has a History of Psychosis, Anxiety and Depression
I’ve struggled with mental illness since I was sexually abused at age nine. This traumatic experience commenced a journey down a path of debilitating anxiety and depression that terminated in psychosis. Environmental factors gave way to genetic factors, and my mental illness morphed. I first heard voices when I was in high school. My first visit to the psychiatric unit came two years later after I nearly took my own life. The psychiatrist told me I was paranoid. I told him I wasn’t. I didn’t tell him about the voices I heard; I didn’t understand them. I left the hospital and dumped my medications; I told no one. My schizophrenia was a secret.
After 7 years, I Sought Help
I endured seven years without medication. They weren’t stable years, but I persevered. After graduating with an undergraduate degree in biology and a graduate degree in physician assisting, I thought the worst was behind me; I had achieved the stability I so desperately craved. My stability crumbled the day I began practicing medicine. Two months later, car keys in hand, I planned to drive to the airport so I could commandeer an airplane to fly to a deserted island. Instead, I approached my supervising physician and simply pleaded, “I need help.”
Randall Law's Goal for 'Creative Schizophrenia'
I became a physician assistant because I enjoy helping others. I am not capable of practicing medicine right now because of my schizophrenia, but I hope to help others through my writing. I hope my words make you laugh. I hope they make you cry. I hope they help you to appreciate your life more fully. I hope they do the same for me. If you read my writing, I hope it makes a difference. I hope it helps you feel alive. I want to feel alive.
More About Randall Law and What He Wants for 'Creative Schizophrenia'
Learn more about Randall Law.
Law, R. (2019, January 10). Introduction to Randall Law, Author of 'Creative Schizophrenia', HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, May 29 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/creativeschizophrenia/2019/1/introduction-to-randall-law-author-of-creative-schizophrenia
Author: Randall Law
Randall, thank you for sharing. I am in awe of your vulnerability and courage to speak openly. I believe you will truly change and bless peoples lives with this blog. Dakota and I currently work with teenage girls struggling with a wide array mental illness. I look forward to sharing your insight and blog with them and their families. Keep fighting the fight! You are worth it.
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments TeNeal. It sounds like you and Dakota are doing a great thing! Thank you for bringing awareness to mental illness and for helping others with their battle.
Randall, I have always admired your talents and abilities. I especially admire your courage to be open about your struggles and successes. Your thoughts will help strengthen, educate, and encourage others. I think the best way to help change stigmas is through opening up, listening to what is being said, and learning from each other. Thank you for being willing, and brave enough, to be a catalyst for the change.
Thank you for your kind comments Robin! I agree that the best way to end stigma is through two way communication. It seems that many of us like to talk (myself included), but few of us expend much energy listening.
Great work Randall. You have always been masterful in speaking and writing. What a great way to use your talents to bring this important topic to light. In today's world there are few if any who have not either personally struggled with mental health or watched a loved one struggle with it.
Thank you for reading and for your friendship Jared. I completely agree with your thoughts. Whether you choose to term it mental illness or not, I believe that every individual will struggle to maintain their mental health at some point.
I'm not doing this for the Amazon card entry, I'm doing it because it just needs to be done, like what you're doing. I just want to say, you've got stones my friend. I have a lot of respect and admiration for what you are doing with this, the house, your family, your life. Keep up the good work.
Thank you Brandon! Respect and admiration mean a lot coming from someone who I have a lot of respect and admiration for.
I don't know you but thank you for sharing your experience Randall. I can't imagine what this has been like for you but I am so grateful that you have the courage to document it. Based off of your writing and video I believe you have been blessed with the gift of endurance that will bolster you as you set out to bless the lives of those around you through your blog.
You said that the day you started practicing medicine your stability crumbled. Can I ask, what that meant for you? I am not familiar with schizophrenia personally except for what I have been taught in textbooks and am seeking greater understanding. Any insight you could give me would be much appreciated. If you wish to address this in a future blog rather than addressing me personally that is totally fine and I will keep an eye out for it.
Thank you again for your time and consideration.
Thank you for reading and for your comments, Peter. I especially appreciate your comments regarding endurance. I often feel the exact opposite about my situation and struggle with the thought that I could have kept fighting and pushed through it. I will answer your question more thoroughly in future posts, but I have no problem explaining my stability crumbling in brief. I have struggled tremendously with paranoia since high school. I can take a harmless comment completely out of context and twist it until I am convinced that the individual in question is plotting against me. When my paranoia gets out of control, the voices and intrusive thoughts become uncontrollable as well. I was so used to living with voices in my head that I really didn't recognize their presence until they became crippling. The morning I started practicing medicine it was as if I had driven into a deep fog. I could not focus and I could not control my anxiety and paranoia. I became convinced that my patients were out to get me. I stopped sleeping and lost my appetite. When I did sleep, the nightmares were horrendous. The voices in my head began to argue so loudly that it was hard to even hear patients over them. I couldn't formulate even the simplest medical opinion without the voices battling me. I struggled with my symptoms for two months before I found myself listening to particularly troubling voices and contemplating their commands. I knew my own diagnosis about two weeks before that, but I was convinced that I was being watched and monitored. It certainly was a frightening time and it continues to be a daily struggle, albeit a less severe one. I hope that answers your question! If you have any more, feel free to let me know. I will also be exploring what it is like to personally experience psychosis in detail in future posts.
Thank you so much Randall for going into greater detail regarding the thoughts and feelings associated with the loss of your stability. The events you went through sound horrific and the voices you battle are harrowing. By developing greater understanding I hope I will be able to better empathize with those around me suffering with similar afflictions. I also want to serve in the medical field for my career. I do not have any more questions at the moment but I will let you know if any arise and I will stay tuned for further updates on your blog.
Thank you for your response Peter. I wish you the best in your pursuit of serving in the medical field and hope my posts will continue to be informative for you!
Great work! Important honest talk, you are making a difference.
Thank you very much, Beth!
Your the man Randall!
Haha thanks, Jordan.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It honestly takes courage and faith. I don't know why some things happen to others, and why some don't, but I love Elder Holland's promise:
I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.". (Like A Broken Vessel 2013)
I can't wait until that day Elder Holland's speaks of, what hope it brings to me and those who suffer, and those who don't (which aren't many, I mean we all suffer in some way, right?) Keep the faith!
Thank you very much for your kind comments, Noheli! I especially appreciate your insight that we all suffer in some way. It is true that I was dealt a bad hand in some respects. However, I am still very fortunate in the grand scheme of things and I have a lot to live for.
I learn something new about you, and myself, Every time I read your posts. You are living a life I fear and admire. I can't fathom what you are dealing with but pray you can find great joy in the "calm" moments. I feel the need to tell you that the Savior knows the desires of YOUR heart and THAT is all you will be judged on! Your heart is kind, patient, loving, teachable, driven, and charitable. You are going to do amazing things. Those voices are not who YOU are. Don't forget that sir. Thank you for sharing. I know some friends who are struggling with this and I am sending them your blogs way!
Thank you very much for your comments and insight, Amber. I especially appreciate your thoughts about the voices being separate from who I am as a person. Thank you for sharing by blog with others as well!
I am almost an official occupational therapist and mental health is a field I am interested in! Your story is an awesome one and I am interested in keeping up to date with your blog!
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments, Blakely. Congratulations on the upcoming completion of your training! Occupational therapy is a very important field and I'm sure that you will have the opportunity to truly make a difference.
I love this blog Randall. Way to take life head on. Your attitude is an inspiration to me!
Thank you for reading and for you kind comments, Brandt!
I am just on here trying to win a gift certificate. Okay, just kidding. Writing/sharing is therapeutic. You help yourself while you are helping others. Carry on!
Well you are going to have to wait until tomorrow to find out if you are a winner or not! Writing is definitely therapeutic, and my accomplished aunt set a great example!
Thank you for helping the world better understand mental health. Your humor and ability to keep things real will keep us following your story. Let us know if we can help with anything!
Thank you for your kind comments and for reading Jen! I hope that things are going well for you and your family!
Good luck with all these new adventures you and your family are beginning! I admire your courage in putting yourself out there and living authentically. I truly believe you will help others with this blog. As someone who deals with anxiety and depression, I look forward to reading another's perspective and knowing we aren't alone.
*Side note to the sports fanatic- if I remember right, you're a 49ers fan, yes? Ouch season!! ;)
Thank you for your comments and for reading, Samantha! I really appreciate a comment on authenticity from someone who I consider to be very authentic. I am sorry to hear that you deal with anxiety and depression. I hope that my perspective will be helpful for you despite your dig about my football team.
Thankyou for sharing and opening up about these things it is a very hard thing to do and I think it will help a lot of people!
Thank you for reading and for your support, Mark!
This is great stuff!! You have always been a wonderful person! My sweet sister has also been diagnosed sichzophenic effective.... I think as a result of drug abuse, but so hard to determine what came first, the mental illness or the drug abuse. Either way, it is wonderful to see you talk about it! She doesn’t say much about her Ilness so I can’t wait to hear your stories and somehow share them with her (she is in jail right now). One more thing I wanted to ask, I would love to see a post about your faith and if that helped with this or if it even came to mind When the voices got so loud. How do you feel the atonement works with mental illness?? I would also love to hear more about your family especially your wife! I can’t wait to read more!!!!
Thank you so much for reading and for your kind comments, Katie. I am sorry to hear of your sister’s struggles. It is often difficult to determine the balance between genetics and environmental factors where mental health is concerned. Hopefully she is now receiving the help she needs in terms of therapy and medications. I will need to defer my thoughts on religion to a different venue as we work to keep HealthyPlace as inclusive as possible to respect various belief systems. As for my family, I plan to make them a focus of my writing so you will hear more about that topic. Hopefully my wife will even do some writing from her perspective.
Randall, it takes courage, not only to break the silence but to share your thoughts, to address the fears, the feelings of despair and allow us to see the struggles you face on a daily basis. What shines through all of this is your strength, your faith that things will change, will improve. Your willingness to put yourself out there as an example to others who may be facing similar challenges is not only inspiring, it reflects on the kind of person you are. Your kindness and your desire to serve others. While this may not be exactly what you had in mind, your blog will be helpful, and provide valuable insight and guidance to others. I applaud you for your courage and your continued commitment to help others. I'm honored to be a friend. You have my love and support.
Thank you for your kind comments Desiree. I hope this blog will be helpful and provide insight and guidance as well. I’m honored to have you as a friend as well.
I truly believe that raising awareness is a positive step. For far too long it has been hidden and buried from sight. It takes people who understand from a personal perspective, people willing to share their own feelings about mental illness. I believe in you Randall and the good that you are doing. I applaud you.
Way to take life by the horns. You've always got our support!
Thank you Jinny! Your new son is adorable! Well, so are all of your children.
Thank you for sharing. You'll change loves just by being brave enough to share your experience And give insights many haven't thought of it heard. So thank you! I admire you.
Thank you for reading and for your comments Marguritte! I admire you and your beautiful family as well!
Randall, you have a heart of gold! I admire you for so many reasons! Your amazing musical abilities, brilliant mind, kind heart, ability to see the needs of others, and ability to be put it all on the line. You have opened up and exposed the inner most vulnerable parts of yourself! It is no wonder you went into the medical field because you have the gift to help others! Thank you for sharing! It is my hope that you can get yourself to where you can work in the field again because you will be able to help so many through the experiences you have gone through! Big hugs to you and your sweet family!
Thank you so much for your kind comments Lori! You have been a great example for me with everything you have endured and I appreciate your friendship. I hope that one day I will be able to work in the medical field again as well.
I admire you greatly! I am looking forward to reading your blog! I'm proud of you for being vulnerable and pray this will help provide insight to mental health illnesses and break the stigma associated with them. Love you, friend!
Thank you for your comments Rebekah! I appreciate your support and hope this blog will provide insight as well.
I admire you and love you! This is such a courageous thing to do and it will bless many other people. You are smart, kind, fun, and a great writer. I will look forward to following your blog.
Thank you for reading and for your comment Cammy. I admire you and love you too! You have been like a second mother for as long as I can remember.
Thanks for sharing your life! I know you have touched so many lives. I don’t know if you remember this, but I told you years ago you have a talent for helping others.
Thank you for your kind comment Heather. I do remember that and I appreciate it. It is a talent that you share as well.
A friend brought it to my attention that my Instagram link isn't working. You can follow me here:
My personal blog is still a work in progress and isn't showing up for some reason. I'll post when it is working.