Age Regression in Dissociative Identity Disorder
Age regression occurs in dissociative identity disorder (DID) particularly, but also in other mental illnesses such as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depressive disorder. While many people with DID have young or child alters, called littles, age regression is something different. So what is age regression, and how do you cope with it?
What Is Age Regression and Who Experiences It?
Age regression, in its simplest definition, is when a person regresses, or goes backward, in age. Age regression can occur spontaneously, or as is more often the case, because of a trigger. While not inherently harmful, regressing can be dangerous if the person is not in a safe place.
Age regression is common in people who have experienced trauma, especially abuse in childhood. There is no limit to how much a person can regress. People may or may not be aware they are regressing.
Age Regression in Dissociative Identity Disorder
Because people with DID have a history of childhood trauma, they are more susceptible to age regression. When people with DID age regress, it's not always a full dissociation or switch to another alter. They may feel like themselves, but yet not feel the right age. They may talk in a more childlike voice and have childlike mannerisms. Sometimes they are aware of these changes, but they don't feel like they have control of them. Other times, they are fully dissociated and not aware that they have regressed. They may look in a mirror and not see themselves.
It is also possible to age regress while experiencing a flashback. These instances are especially difficult because it can lead to reliving the trauma, which can increase suffering and keep the person stuck in a dissociative state.
Tips For Managing Age Regression in DID
While it's not possible to prevent age regression entirely, there are ways to manage and cope when it does happen.
Safety scripts are useful for those who experience age regression and flashbacks frequently. What the safety script says is up to the person and his or her needs, but including "My name is . . ." "I am [however many] years old." and "I am safe." are good statements to include. Keep the safety script in an easily accessible place, like a wallet, bag, or desk drawer, so you can read it when you feel yourself regressing.
Another way of coping with age regression is age progression. Try to determine what age you feel like you are. It's okay if you don't know the exact age -- take an educated guess. Then, work your way up slowly. If you feel like you are 10 years old, acknowledge that age and then slowly increase it at a pace that is comfortable for you, until you get to your actual age. Remind yourself that you are safe.
The best defense is to notice the warning signs. How do you feel before you experience age regression? What are the changes in your body? How does your mind feel? When you start to notice the signs, you can begin working on a plan to keep you as safe as possible when it does happen.
Lastly, don't be afraid to utilize your support systems. Let them know the signs of your experience with age regression. Tell them how they can help you get back to the present moment.
When you have DID, you won't always feel your age. But there is a way to get back to being yourself.
Matulewicz, C. (2017, November 30). Age Regression in Dissociative Identity Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, June 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2017/11/age-regression-in-dissociative-identity-disorder
Author: Crystalie Matulewicz
I am a guy and i want to know why guys who like to wear diapers are considered sissies and yet when girls wear diapers,society accepts it and they are thought of as being cute and little girlish! Guys who like wearing diapers have to be discreet and keep it a secret,but yet i have seen both tween and teen girls wearing diapers and plastic pants in weddings,for baptisms,First Communions,and because they like wearing them in general,and they aren't afraid to be seen wearing them and people think its cute and accept it.I have never heard of girls being made fun of or teased because they were wearing diapers and plastic pants,but yet i have heard of guys being called sissies and made fun of because they liked wearing diapers.Is this how our society views equality among the two genders? Can any one shed some light on this?
I am 14 and in puberty and bedwetting because of it.I too have to wear cloth diapers and plastic pants to bed every night and have been wearing them since before age 12! My parents make me wear them on Easter sunday under my Easter dress and also under my christmas dresses with white tights over them.I was told over this past weekend that i have to wear them again to my dads work christmas party and to church on christmas eve and also on christmas day!
I have found that it is far more common for girls and women to regress back to babyhood than it is for guys.Girls and women have a stronger need to be babied and taken care of. Most of the posts here from girls who wear diapers and rubberpants prove the point whether they are bedwetters,for special occasions or they just like wearing them.
Me and my twin sister are now in our late 20s and we were both bedwetters going thru puberty.We both started puberty and our bedwetting before age 12 and mom put both of us into cloth pin on diapers and rubberpants every night.Mom got our cloth diapers and diaper pins and rubberpants from a couple of websites and we also had the 24x27 inch cloth baby diapers as well.Our rubberpants were adult size and in pastels and babyprints that we thought were cute.Every night before bedtime sis and i took a quick shower,then went into our bedroom and laid side by side naked on our bed.Mom would then slide the folded diapers under us,apply diaper rash ointment,then the babypowder,then she would pin the diapers on us and adjust them.Then she would pull our rubberpants up our legs and over our diapers and made sure they covered them.Then it was into our nightgowns,brush our teeth,etc and hop into bed.During the winter months,we wore footed,one piece pj's that zipped up the front and our diapers and rubberpants bulged out under them.Mom also had sis and i wear our diapers and rubberpants for Easter under our easter dresses and also at christmas under our cute holiday dresses.Our bedwetting went on all thru 12,13 and 14 and finially ended just past 15.It was hard on both of us especially at 14 and into 15 having to wear the diapers and rubberpants and knowing our friends knew we wore them!
Is it fair for girls in puberty who are bedwetting and wear cloth diapers and rubberpants to be made to wear them for special occasions and holidays?I was a puberty bedwetter from just before 12 to almost 15 and wore the cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed every night.Mom made me wear them every Easter under my easter dresses and at christmas under my holiday dress and for weddings and any other special events.I always felt somewhat embarrassed having them on and was paranoid that people would see them. How do other girls here feel about this?
To Breanna M.-I am 14 and still bedwetting from puberty..I have been wearing cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed now for over two years and my parents also make me wear them for holidays and special occassions as well! I have had to wear them under my Easter dresses,christmas dresses and in a wedding last year as the flowergirl under my poofy white dress! A week and a half ago on May 7th i did my 8th grade confirmation and per the dress code all of us girls had to wear a white dress,tights and white shoes.Mom made me wear my diapers and rubberpants under the tights and i felt weird and some what embarrassed! She has told me that the diapers and rubberpants are to make me feel pure and little girlish under my dresses for the holidays and special occassions.I dont like having to wear them other than at night for my bedwetting!
To Chrissy M.-You are not alone! I am 14 also and bedwetting in puberty also.I have been wearing cloth diapers and rubberpants for over two years now and i have had to wear them also for Easter and christmas under my dresses.Last sunday,May 21st,i made my First Holy Communion with the 2nd graders and wore the traditional,sleeveless,poofy knee length communion dress and veil with lace anklets and white shoes.After my bath i came into my room and mom had several of my diapers,pins,and a pair of my white rubberpants laying on my bed and told me i have to wear them under my dress for the day.I protested,but she told me that since i was in with the little kids,that they would make me feel more pure and little girlish.I gave in and she put them on me along with a camisole as my top.Before the ceremony,i was talking with three of my friends and mom came over and asked them if i looked cute and little girlish in my outfit and they all said yes.Then she lifted up the front of my dress and showed them the diapers and rubberpants and i turned very red!
I am a guy 16.Last saturday my uncle got married and the flowergirl in the wedding was around 13 or 14 and she looked cute!It was at the reception that i found out she was wearing a cloth diaper and plastic pants under her dress..I saw a couple of girls come up to her and lift her dress up and thats when i plainly saw the diaper and plastic pants.At the wedding dance,i asked her to dance several times and i told her about what i saw at the reception when her dress was lifted by the two girls.She told me that she wanted to wear the diapers and plastic pants under her dress to make her feel cute and little girlish.
I am 15 and got into some serious trouble a week and a half ago.Yesterday,May 22nd,i made my First Holy Communion in the class with the 2nd graders and had to wear a puffy,top of the knees communion dress and veil with lace anklets and white shoes. As my punishment for getting into the trouble,my parents made me wear a size 8 pampers crusier diaper with babyprint plastic pants over it under my dress all day long! I was so embarresed and at my party,mom showed my friends the pampers and plastic pants under my dress!! I am still getting over the embarrassment!
Your parents properly punished you under your communion dress!
When I was growing up bedwetters wore cloth diapers and rubber pants to bed at all ages. There were disposable diapers that had just started out and were meant for babies. So it was not at all unusual to see larger sizes cloth diapers and rubber pants hanging on clotheslines. One of my moms friends had 3 bedwetters ages 9and 5 that were girls and a boy age 7. Mom and I would sometimes go over after supper to visit and it was not unusual to see all 3 sitting watching TV wearing jerseys if summer or pj's or nightgowns in cool weather and all were ready for bed wearing double cloth diapers and rubber pants.. As their bedtimes came they would come to the kitchen and say goodnight. They were unfazed about having diapers and rubber pants on. I always was glad that I was not a bedwetter.
I am a 17 year old guy and one of my best buddies has a 15 year old sister who is a bedwetter and wears cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed also.When i am over at their house towards bedtime,the sister makes no effort to cover up her diapers and rubberpants! She walks around with just a smock top and the diapers on and she sometime has a pacifier in her mouth!Her rubberpants are pastel colors and she does look like a baby with them on!
To Dawn-What was the hardest i think back then was girls going thru puberty and bedwetting because of it! I started puberty just past 12 and the bedwetting started shortly after.I had to wear the cloth pin on diapers and rubberpants to bed every night! Mom alwas put them on me about a half hour before bed time.As i got older,into 13 and 14 it was even harder having to wear them and feeling like a baby! I had two friends who were also bedwetters in puberty and wore the cloth diapers and rubberpants like i did,so when the three of us would have a sleepover,the mom would put our diaper and rubberpants on us together.
Hannah, As a babysitter I kind of felt bad for about a half hour before bedtime for the older ones coming into their room and seeing the diapers and rubber pants laid out on their bed knowing that they would be wearing them in a few minutes. they would take their panties off lie down on their bed quickly I would pin the diapers on and the older ones could hop off the bed and pull on their own rubber pants making sure the diapers were completely covered and than put on nighty or a jersey and they were ready for bed knowing that in the morning their diapers would be wet but the bedding would be dry. In the warm weather they would walk around the house with jersey on and everyone could see them wearing their rubber pants.
To Dawn-Those kids that you babysat for were kind of lucky in that you pinned their diapers on them,then they put their rubberpants on themselves! My mom and a couple of my bedwetting friends moms always put our diapers and rubberpants on us! It was lay down,diaper slid under,babypowder applied,diaper pinned on,rubberpants pulled up our legs and over our diaper!Me and my two friends felt like babies at bedtime!
Hannah, The older ones moms felt that being a bedwetter was enough and when diapers were pinned they could put their own rubber pants on just like putting on daytime panties. gave a feeling of some control over what they wore for bedwetting. The oldest one would hop down off the bed and go to her dresser and open a drawer that had three stacks of rubber pants next to her daytime undies. They were just plain whit another stack of pastels like blue, pink and yellow and the third stack was print ones like circus clowns or animals or flowers. Most often she would choose the printed ones and step into them and pull them up over her diapers. The other wetter's only had just plain white rubber pants.
When i was 17,i did some babysitting for a widower dad with two daughters,ages 14 and 12.The one day their dad told me that they were both going to be flowergirls in their cousins wedding and asked me if i would go along and dress them in their flowergirl outfits and that he would pay me well.That saturday we got to the church 3 hours before the ceremony and i was told the girls outfits were in the church nursery.The three of us went to the nursery and their outfits were all laid out.On a table,there were two sets of cloth diapers with diaper pins and rubberpants and white camisoles.The note with them said that they have to wear the diapers and rubberpants under their dresses.So both of them got undressed and i pinned the diapers on both of them,then put the rubberpants on over them.Their camisoles went on next then their lace socks and shoes,then their poofy white dresses and veils.Both girls looked really cute and little girlish in their outfits!
Dawn- I did alot of babysitting when i was a teenager and some of the kids i babysat were bedwetting girls in puberty and all of them wore the cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed every night.All of the girls had some pairs of rubberpants with babyprints on them as well as the pastel colored pairs.Most of the girls preferred having their babyprint rubberpants put on them at bedtime.
To Dawn-I also babysit for a family with a 10 year old son and a 13 year old daughter who is in puberty and bedwetting.She wears cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed everynight also.Before bedtime,i take about a dozen of the cloth diapers out of her drawer along with the diaper pins,babypowder and baby lotion and lay them on her bed.I fold the diapers,then put the pins beside them.The girl then picks out the pair of rubberpants she wants to wear,then lays down on the diapers,i rub the lotion on her,apply the babypowder,then pin the diapers on her,then she raises up her legs and i pull the rubberpants up over her diapers and make sure they cover the diapers.Even tho she is 13,most of her rubberpants are babyprints which she likes the most with a few in pink.
Dawn,do you feel that rubberpants with babyprints or other cute prints on them are appropriate for girls 13 to 15 to wear over their cloth bedwetting diapers?
When i was 16,i babysat for a family with two daughters who were a year apart at 12 and 13.Both girls were in puberty at the time and bedwetting because of it.They also wore the cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed every night.About an hour before bedtime,they would take their cloths off and lay side by side on the bed and i would pin their diaper on them,then put the rubberpants on them.Their mom preferred it be done that way.After their diapers and rubberpants were on,they would put either their pj's or nightgowns on and we would either watch tv or play games untill bedtime.Since they were only 12 and 13,they both had pastel colored rubberpants and also babyprints which they both wore the most. Because they were a year apart,they both were never baptized as babies,so when they were 13 and 14 their parents had them baptized at mass on a sunday morning. I helped their mom dress them in the traditional white,poofy,above the knees,sleeveless baptism dresses with matching bonnets,lace anklets and white mary jane shoes.We put their cloth diapers and the babyprint rubberpants on them that they wanted to wear with a camisole as their top under their dresses. They both looked very adorable and cute! Towards the end of their party,their mom and i took their cloth diapers off of them and they both wore their babyprint rubberpants under their dresses untill bedtime.
I was one of those girls also! I started puberty before age 12 and started the bedwetting soon after. Mom got the Curity flat cloth diapers in the 26x27 inch size for me along with diaper pins,extra large super size rubberpants,babypowder,diaper rash ointment and baby lotion.Every night before bedtime she would put the diapers and rubberpants on me.It got to be a nightly routine and i did feel like a baby with them on most of the time.There were other girls like me and wearing the cloth diapers and rubberpants as well and we were considered in our '2nd babyhood'!The worst part of it was our moms had us wear our diapers and rubberpants or just the rubberpants under our Easter and christmas dresses and also for weddings etc.At sleepovers and slumber parties we were all put into our diapers and rubberpants early on.We had our rubberpants in pink,yellow and blue and some with babyprints on them and some of the girls would wear their babyprint rubberpants at the sleepovers and slumber parties.My bedwetting went on all thru ages 12,13 and most of 14 and ended just before i turned 15.
Hi i am 17 and babysit two sisters who are a year apart at 12 and 13.Both are in puberty and bedwetting and wear cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed every night.When i babysit them,at bedtime they both lay naked side by side and i slide their cloth diapers under them,babypowder them,then pin the diapers on them.Next they raise up their legs and i pull their rubberpants up their legs and over their diapers and make sure the diapers are covered! Both of them have babyprint rubberpants that they like to have put on over their diapers.
When i was 16,i babysat for a family with a newly adopted 14 year old daughter who was wetting during the daytime and bedwetting at night!She wore the cloth pin on diapers and adult size rubberpants 24/7 and when i had to babysit her,i had to change her diapers everyso often and also diaper her at bedtime.Baby powder,lotion and diaper rash ointment was used on her with the diapers and her diaper pins were pastel or duck or teddy bear head kind.When i had to change her,it was like me changing a baby,only she laid still!After her dry diapers were put on,a fresh pair of rubberpants was put on over them as her mom didnt want the rubberpants worn for more than one diaper change.She told me a few times that she felt like a baby wearing the diapers and rubberpants and that she liked the feeling.
When our daughter started puberty just past 12,she started bedwetting also. We put her into cloth diapers and rubberpants at night.We had a 16 year old girl babysit her when the husband and i would go out for an evening.She would put the daughters diapers and rubberpants on her at bedtime just like i did.After the daughter was in bed,we paid the girl extra to fold the daughters freshly washed diapers and rubberpants and pile them up on the coffee table while she watched tv.The one saturday night,hubby and i went out and the girl came to babysit the daughter.I got a headache so we came home early.The daughter was in bed and we caught the babysitter with her boyfriend and she had some of the daughters diaper and rubberpants on! We sent the boyfriend home and asked the babysitter what was going on.She told us that her boyfriend talked her into putting on the diapers and rubberpants so he could see what they looked like on her! We fired her there on the spot!
Our daughter is 14 and approaching the end of her puberty.When she first started puberty before age 12,she started bedwetting because of it.Since then,she has been wearing a thick cloth diaper and adult size rubberpants to bed every night.She has been fine with the cloth diaper and rubberpants and has even worn them under her Easter and christmas dresses and for a couple of special occasions.Her bedwetting is now becomming less frequent,only about two to three or four times a week now.I still put the diaper and rubberpants on her every night.She told me the other night that after her bedwetting ends,that she still wants to wear the diaper and rubberpants to bed occassionally as she is used to them and feels secure in them.It took me by surprise! Should i let her keep on wearing them every so often when she wants to?
When i made my First Holy Communion at age 12,i was put into a cloth diaper and plastic pants and tee shirt when i was dressed in my communion outfit.My parents told me it was for two reasons,one,in case i got nervous and had an accident,and two,to make me feel pure and innocent like the 7 year old little girls in my class! My communion dress was to the top of my knees and i wore the lace anklets and white mary jane shoes. I did feel like a little girl with the diaper and plastic pants on under my dress,but was paranoid the whole time that something would happen and people would see them.Then,two years later when i was 14,i was one of two flowergirls in my aunts wedding,and my parents had me wear the diaper and plastic pants under my flowergirl dress.The other girl was 6 years old and she had a pampers,size 7 diaper on under her dress.Our dresses were almost midthigh length and it was hard to concentrate on being a flowergirl with only a few inches of my dress covering the diaper and plastic pants!
i have been to several weddings over the last 10 years or so and have seen both younger and older flowergirls with diapers and plastic pants on under their poofy dresses and i thought they all looked cute!Most of the younger girls i saw had a pampers with the plastic pants over it,and most of the older girls wore the cloth diaper and plastic pants.
To Courtney Holstad-You were dressed properly for your First Holy Communion! Your parents did the proper thing by putting you into the diaper,plastic pants and tee shirt under your communion dress! I am a catholic girl,and at my parish the cloth diaper,"rubberpants" and tee shirt is the normal underwear worn under the communion dresses by all of the girls.I made my First Holy Communion at 15 and my diaper was 10 plies thick and pinned on me with pink diaper pins.My rubberpants were adult size and fit me blousy and crinkled under my dress when i walked.My tee shirt was tucked into the waist of the rubberpants.They made me feel pure and innocent like the little girls in my class.Like you,the girls are expected to wear their diaper and rubberpants and tee shirt for other special occasions such as weddings,etc. I wore mine under my white confirmation dress a year later at 16.
I also made my First Holy Communion at 15 in the class with the 7 year olds. I was dressed like the little girls in a poofy,short sleeve knee length communion dress and veil with the lace socks and white mary jane shoes.I was put into a cloth diaper and adult size rubberpants when i was dressed with a tee shirt as my top.Everything went smoothly untill towards the end of my party.My boyfriend,who was 16,came and brought me a card,and we hung out for a while.He saw the cloth diaper and rubberpants under my dress and asked me why i was wearing them and i told him my parents made me wear them to be like the little girls in my class. Later on that week,he broke up with me because he felt i was like a baby!
When i was 17,i got hired by a dad whose 14 year old daughter was making her First Holy Communion. and had to dress her.The mom had an operation and was in the hospital,so she couldnt be there.Their parish required the full First Communion outfit for the girls,so i had to put a cloth diaper and rubberpants on her with a tee shirt as her top,then her communion dress and veil with the lace socks and white shoes.She looked cute in her outfit! I went to the mass with her and her dad and there were 4 other teen girls,ages 15 and 16 in the class and they looked cute also!The one 15 year old girl had ruffled rubberpants on over her cloth diaper as she showed them to the other girls before the ceremony.
I am 15 and will be making my First Holy Communion this comming sunday,May 7,in the class of 2023 with the 2nd graders.My communion dress is short sleeve and poofy,that comes to the top of my knees.I am going to wear lace anklets and white maryjane shoes with my dress and veil.My cloth diaper and rubberpants mom got from Babypants .com and my white tee shirt from Target.
To Chrissy M.-I am 15 and just made my First Holy Communion this past sunday,May 21st,2023 in the class of 7 year olds. I was dressed as a little girl also in a short sleeve,poofy,knee length communion dress and veil with gloves,lace anklets and white patent leather shoes.After my bath,i laid naked on my bed and mom baby powdered me then pinned a 10 ply thick cloth diaper on me,then put white,crinkly,adult size rubberpants on me over the diaper,followed by a plain white tee shirt and tucked it into the waist of the rubberpants.I put the lace anklets and shoes on next,then my dress and veil were put on me next.I felt very pure and little girlish in my outfit and when mom brought me out to show dad,the rubberpants crinkled under my dress!! At the parish before the ceremony,several of my friends remarked how cute i looked as a 'little girl' and they lifted up my dress and checked out my diaper and rubberpants. Even some teen boys saw the diaper and rubberpants under my dress and told me i looked cute!At my party,my dress was also lifted up and every saw the diaper and rubberpants! I felt very little girlish!
having several traumas my love cartoons toys my room is in winnie the pooh design i have an adult size tricycle and hobbie horse feel safer as a toddler
I have a problem.I regress under stress and at night time.My marriage failed also because I regressed around an unsafe person.I now don't trust anyone.I miss being held.Being safe.I have regressed and it doesn't always feel like I have control over this.It scares me very much.I was told by my doctor that I have a dissociative disorder of some sort.But I feel deeply ashamed and very scared for myself.E.What if it happens again.How do I protect myself.
Your marriage failed because your husband didn’t deserve you. Don’t be ashamed to be yourself, be ashamed of the people who pretend they’re doing just fine but are suffering in silence because their pride won’t let them seek help.
Be yourself don't let anyone tell you different.
Ok what do you do it’s the dominant regressing to the age he was abused and the only way to keep little davie sober is to have his submissive spank him I’m worried for him we are in the ddlg too he’s talking about giving me a training collar I want it I love the child in him but sometimes his little submissive needs her daddy and daddy is regressed
In my case I don't have DID, but do live with CPTSD due to on going trauma as a kid. I have found personal utilizing regressive behaviors such as going the whole weekend around the house in a tee shirt and diaper much like a 3 year old. In a way to both embody and comfort my younger self as a method of therapy. I think more needs to explored on this. Cause technically it's good to Pampers yourself.
does age regression ever stop?
Age regression episodes stop but I don't think it does as a whole. I'm not completely sure though. That's a really good question
I am sure that overcoming the traumas that cause age regression, DID, or c/PTSD will help a lot. Working through the trauma to understand and move on, and cope now would probably lessen the frequency, severity or change the type of regression to become healthier or less problematic for you. It depends on your situation but it definitely can improve a lot I think, so would all other trauma related symptoms over time when the trauma is faced properly with professional support.
Both I and my wife had very traumatic child hoods. I tend to be the in most part. When she gets home from work she instantly regresses which I'm glad she has found a safe spot. I myself when I get to stressed also regress at those moments when I know we're both stressed.. we have a safe zone for both of us. The first thing we do is call my sister in law... she likes babysitting us anyways... from there we just interact with each other in our purest form. Just remember you never know how a person feels till you've lived there life. Be yourself that's all that you can do.
So, I am an age regressor. It started a couple years ago when I needed a way to cope with sexual abuse I went through as a child. Often times when I regress and never realize it until my friend points it out. Half the time I don't remember what happens when I regress, I know I regressed because ill ask my friend about it in the morning, and if I do its splotchy memories. I was doing research on DID when I thought to myself, "Could I be experiencing this?" Honestly, I just want to know if it's a possibility I am going through this and if so, how to I go about treating it.
I'm sorta sure I have this, but I'm REALLY scared to get tested for it because I've already been tested a few other things and the psychologist confirmed I have most of them. I can definitely see myself regressing (still learning my triggers for this and my trichotillomania) then slowly coming back, but I guess I just don't want it confirmed but at the same time, I just want to know to make sure I'm not a Freak or something.
Hi, in the case of age regression with DID, what work accomodations can be utilized to help support an independent lifestyle? Thanks
Hi. I do not have DID, but this is one of the few sites that gives a helpful explanation of age regression, which I think I may be dealing with.
When I was younger, I was met with quite a handful of traumatic experiences, and I realized at some point that my family can't provide the comfort I need to feel safe. My mother is emotionally abusive, and my dad abused my sister when I was young and then shut me out of his life. At about age 12, I would wrap my baby blanket around my arm (a blanket I've slept with since I was a baby and still sleep with), and I'd sit on the floor and cry and rock myself. Before/during this time, I would talk to myself as if I had an imaginary friend, which I've been doing as a coping mechanism since I was 5. So that's that. Let me explain some more recent events.
Lately, I can't seem to take care of any responsibilities that I have. I'll stare at the screen (at work I need to do) and suck on my fingers. I also dissociate a lot and nothing ever really gets done throughout the day. I need to clean, do work, etc, but those things give me anxiety so I just suck on my fingers instead. When I was a child, I slept on the floor a lot, and a year ago I began doing this again. I have slept on the floor every single night for a year. It's where I feel safe/like a kid again. I'm also a really quiet person and often mute throughout the day, for reasons I don't fully understand. It feels as if I CAN'T speak, like my mouth is wired shut. And there's something else... I like wearing diapers, and I wish I could have pacifiers and bottles. It's not a kink thing. It's just something I'm drawn to. I don't have those things, but I've used baby diapers a few times and this provided a sense of security. It's hard to explain...
The bottom line, I sometimes get the sense that I'm regressing to a much younger age. This became apparent after the conception of my baby sister (last year). That's when I made the choice to sleep on the floor and when I started sucking on my fingers for comfort. Is it possible that I've been regressing back to infancy? I'm 18 years old and I don't wish to act like this...
Hi I'm like that too I know what your going through, my name is Carrie Grehoski if you want you can message back it's nice to know I'm not alone in this
Is it possible for this to be consider as parts? I have been diagnose with DID, however I have been told that I do not switch into a different person just different ages and that I have several different ages, They all hold their own memories and act different but only in like maturity and the things that they like and how they feel. I have been told this all by my therapist who has talked to my so called part countless of times. I never remember switching to these parts or acting like them or abything to do with them. I will just black out and then come back. I have how ever seen note that i have writen and the hand writing will look different and the spelling will be messed up depending on what age had wrote it. There is this huge part of me that wants to prove to my therapist and mostly to myself that I do not have this and that there has to be some other reasoning for all of this happening, I do have a very long history of all kinds of abuse and this is why I have been told that my brain developed this. I have heard of people switching to other people with different names and they act completely different in every way possible, and as I have been told that I do in ways act different, its just hard for other people to notice. There have been times that people have told me that i seem younger as well. I guess what I am wondering is that is it possible for this age regression to be the main cause of switching and does this on a more serve level be consider as parts as I have been told that I have?
I would suggest asking your psychologist about/looking into OSDD-1a (Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder), because this is what it sounds like. I'm in no way qualified to say that is what it is for sure, this is merely a suggestion.