Trying is detaching.
Trying my best, is detaching.
My best is detaching.
I'm at my best when I'm detached.

Adult Child

Section I. The Addictive Pull


"Detach?" "From what?" (I'm not sure what it is I'm trying to detach from)

Answer: The "Pull" of being used as an object of addiction or using other people as objects of addiction. ____________________


I am an addict. I have also been trained to be an object of addiction. Today as I write this guide I choose not to be an object of an addiction.

When an addict feels bad inside they are compelled to do something to alter those feelings. Their concern is to control the feelings they are having by using something outside of themselves to feel better. In this way they become dependent on whatever it is that they are using.

Consider some booze and its relationship to the addict. The addict uses the booze to feel better and the booze has no complaints. The well being of the booze is of no concern to the addict nor does he or she have compassion for the booze. The addict has no need to control the booze since it is nothing but an inanimate object. The addict need not talk to the booze nor ask the booze if it minds being used. The booze has no personal identity or face, it's just booze. It has no feelings nor does it fight to prevent itself from being used. From the booze's standpoint, a lack of intimacy with the addict exists. That is to say that the addict need not share anything about himself or herself with the booze. The addict and the booze need not share anything together except the addict's need to consume (use) the booze.

The booze's role in this relationship is to be inactive. The addict's expectations for the booze are as follows:

  • To be compliant
  • To do nothing to frustrate the addict

As long as the booze is easy to use the addict is happy.

next: Behaviors that Hurt and the Loads to be Carried
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 15). Foreword, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 18 from

Last Updated: April 26, 2019

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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