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A Good Way to Love

Getting Off The Rollercoaster

There is only one true way to Love. It is without exception and without demands. It is accepting and forgiving. It is understanding of faults and mistakes, and finds no fault in being human. It is always kind, and is always willing to give what it has to offer. It does not expect anything in return, because its cup is never empty. It rejoices when a Truth is discovered, and shares in the Joy of another regardless of self. It is willing and free to help carry other peoples burdens, because with Love there is no burden to great. With Love, there are always answers to our problems. It sees the needs of others and recognises the things that can helpful in fulfilling those needs; for when those things have been discovered, there is always simplicity and joy associated with the giving.

Love enhances, Love advances. It is opened eyes and opened hearts, receptive and eager to please, and it is always willing to believe. Love is mutual, Love is harmony; just as the magnificence of a symphony comes into being through the individual tunes of individual instruments...they are alone yet together. Such is the harmony of a life centred on Love.

This is unconditional Love.

To Love someone truly is to Love all parts of that person. Unconditional Love simply exists. It is not expectant of certain conditions to be maintained. It just is... and all that it wants is for itself to be shared. If you want this type of Love, then it is yours. It will never be a burden or make demands, for it alone is free; it is centred from within and delights in giving.

SPECIAL LOVE:

When we Love all people, we are not IN LOVE with all people, but we are one with them as we journey together through life. If we are so blessed as to have someone in our life who gives us deep meaning and fulfilment, then to share such a Love like this is to share more than a life, it is to share a way of life. To have such a special Love in a lasting relationship based on unconditional Love is to possess a magnificent Love. For a woman and a man to be united in unconditional Love, is the kind of Love that poets have been writing of for centuries. It is not a dream Love, it does exist. It is a powerful Love, yet it is a simple and uncomplicated Love. It is a Love that endures, and it's available to all ... if you so choose.


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ACCEPTANCE THROUGH UNDERSTANDING:

Through learning to accept your past mistakes, you are in fact learning to forgive yourself. You are able to do this because you are the closest that anyone can be to you. You understand your situation more and more clearly as you grow in Love and awareness. With this concept in mind, you can be sure that there are people all over the world striving to be whole. They feel as you do, and they are searching for understanding and acceptance through Love.

But we cannot know all aspects of all such people, and we do not need to have such a deep knowledge. Part of loving unconditionally is related to living in the "THE NOW". As you may have forgiven someone else for a distant and past event, the same must hold true for mistakes that are with you now that remain unresolved. The past is gone and all that really matters is the time you are living right now. As long as you are ready to respond with first actions that are based on Love, then not only will you find your own continued peace, but you will also bring about a more thorough resolution to the problems of those who are close and dear to you, as well as those whose lives cross our paths from time to time.

YOUR WORTH IS AS EQUAL TO THE WORTH THAT YOU SEE IN OTHERS:

To Love yourself is a good thing. Old fashioned Ego thinking wants to guide our thoughts to the likes of...

"Don't be so conceited".

... but self Love is not associated with pride, it is associated with acceptance. It is linked to understanding as we continue to try our best. We are kind to ourselves, just as we are kind to others.

So often, we are sympathetic to the plight of others, but when it comes to ourselves we can be very intolerant of our own mistakes. It is the Ego which drags us down, telling us as a response to a foolish choice,...

"Never never do that thing again"

...yet after some time has passed, it would continue to chatter and say...

"Well; it really wasn't so bad.

it's really O.K., you're not hurting anyone".

But the truth in this thinking is that you are really hurting yourself.

The Ego can deliver strategies that might bring us to think that our place in life, our feelings, and the need for Love are unjustified. It would say...

"Stop thinking of yourself... Give your kindness to others

You're O.K... you've got enough..."


Subtly, the ego is saying "you don't count", but you do count! and you are equal in worth to anyone else who lives and shares time on this earth. You cannot be selfish when you act with Love, for when you have learned to Love yourself, you are acting in accordance with nature.

Since the Ego does not operate out of Love, we can say that it does not know of Love. It only knows that it is a force that it must be responded to. Ego operates on physical realities, but the Inner Truth operates on Spiritual realities. Through an unknowing of Love, it cannot see the love in other people. As such, it will then relate other peoples behaviour to its own past experiences which are linked to fear. But!... Always keep in mind... Your Ego is simply trying to protect you.

As you would Love all people, you cannot exclude yourself or the other parts of yourself from that Love; even the parts which have brought about pain. Your choices, your thinking, your actions, and your desires have all come about through association and evaluation linked to all your past experiences. You are not bad or lacking because of past mistakes. There are no bad people, but there are people whose actions stem from lack of integration and the experience of kind Love. Inwardly they are sad and confused and their actions are associated with fear and survival brought about by a limited knowledge of the True concept of Love.

THE HIDDEN REASONS:

A child is born with unblemished Love and affection, and it's development is totally at the mercy of the parents or guardians. Children will learn about life from what they see in others, and when a child is raised by people who give Conditional Love, they will learn that this behaviour is how Love is supposed to be. But when children observe and learn from Unconditional Love, they are taught of the boundlessness that can exist in learning to live with understanding, forgiveness and tolerance.


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This tolerance is not one where we grit our teeth and fume within as people's unthinking behaviour clashes with our own world, we are tolerant because we know we are all learning from personal experiences. Our tolerance is then peaceful, and through it we continue to maintain our own peace.

Here is the principal reason why we should all Love each other unconditionally. We are all learning from what is available through our experiences and teachings. This is also why I believe that there are no bad people. Peoples behaviour is supported by valid and explainable reasons. (Please note my use of the word "Reasons", and not Excuses). Each of us has our own unique story, and only compassion and understanding for the circumstances of others will bring about that mass shift in consciousness that is inevitable as the world matures.

Continually acting with unconscious kindness to all people in all situations, will empower yourself and others as they inwardly respond to your Love based mode of living. It will help others in ways that they might not necessarily perceive since by your example, you bring into someone else's life aspects of behaviour that they may never have had the opportunity to witness. Even people with great Self Love who have minimal interaction with others are important, since there is a wind that carries the seeds of their inner kindness to other barren ground. This is part of the action of life. By simply living in Love, you contribute in ways that you may never know of. Be cautious not to operate purely with a "Be nice just in case attitude", but KNOW that your goodness attracts other goodness. Your Love will be exemplary as you lay seeds that silently take root in peoples hearts everywhere you go. Kindness is mimicked just as fear is.

Be good because it is good to be good.

UNIVERSAL GROWTH:

When you act with Love, the whole Universe grows that little bit more. When you grow in strength and Love, not only does it affect your own surrounding world, but equally your actions contribute to the overall advance of humanity. When a change is made within and that change becomes permanent, then the mirror action of Love and kindness will be available to others. They too shall learn and grow so that one day Love will permeate all things.

As we develop in our new Love, all people are seen in a different light. There are no longer veils and obstacles blocking our intuitive vision, for the Love we have now put in the forefront of our lives, sees the soul first, and then the body.

The sooner we begin our Love based way of living, the sooner the examples of goodness will then begin to settle in peoples minds to be seen as Alternatives of Being which will resonate within them as something good. When we get a taste for something, we may tend to pursue it whether it is good or bad, so by living a life that displays our inner goodness through practical example, we enable ourselves and the people around us to get a taste for kindness and Love. We can then work for Love, through Love, with Love.

Love based living does not necessarily imply the need to continually act like reverent and holy people, or even to be constantly searching out people in need. It means being available. It means asserting your worth. It means being bold enough to step out and follow your dreams. It means walking on a beach and feeling the sand grit underneath your feet and the biting chill as a wave washes around your toes. It means acknowledging the totality of your humanness with all its tears and joys. It means being free.

"Love thy neighbour". We were told this so long ago. It's such a hard lesson to get across. However, as hard as it may seem, don't let the required effort compromise the quality of the life you want for yourself. Remember that love is linked to an understanding that we are all in the same boat. Yes... we are learning... we are All learning.


COMPLIMENTING VIRTUES:

To develop this way of living, we need to compliment it with other virtues. To Love fully, you must understand the value of Truth, as well as the value of Patience. By bringing these qualities into your life, you will see wonderful changes in your outlook on people and events as you grow to a restored unity of mind, body and soul.

TRUTH:

Never be afraid of the Truth. Never believe that the Truth is better left unspoken. Through loving discernment, we may have to delay the Truth while foundations of understanding are being built, but the Truth will eventually be delivered in its own way and in its own time. Never guide others blindly through your own unacceptance of what is right. Better to remain silent and go away to ponder the reasons that make you think that Truth is a lesser thing than your own judgment. We always know within our hearts when we feel that something is good and true. Sometimes we make mistakes, but through these mistakes, we come to a closer understanding of ourselves, of the world, and of an ability to clearly recognise truths from untruths.

When we always act to seek the Truth and to live the Truth, our mistakes turn into valuable teachings.

Always be receptive to these teachings. Turn your mistakes around by admitting and accepting them. See also that the admission of mistakes and errors is Truth unfolding; the Truth in you coming into the light. If you do something wrong, then own up to it. To act this way encourages a way of life that is able to foresee events which could lead you from the Truth. Get into the habit of being honest with yourself. Master this alone and you will be honest with all people; you will develop friendships which are strong, meaningful and lasting. They will be friends that really care and that will always support. Truthful people will always gravitate to each other since the Truth likes the Truth; the Truth seeks the Truth; and the Truth finds the Truth.


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This world has cheats and liars that take advantage of the ones who are honest and trustworthy, but the person with the highest acceptance of the Truth and what it stands for, will always know that these people never really succeed. Their moments of glory are transitory, but the Truthful person lives with the knowledge that nothing surpasses the Truth and that the Truthful way is always the best. It is not a perfect world we live in; this is not paradise, so we act in a way that brings us the strength we need to bring us peace of mind. It is so simple to be honest with yourself and with others.

PATIENCE:

To possess Patience, is to possess a great inner strength. The impatient person has no endurance, little hope, and with regard to important timely matters, little or no faith in oneself or others. Through fostering patience, a new peace is obtained. The Patient person is a positive person, for time is allowed to take a backseat since the end result is what matters. Though time is seemingly put aside as unimportant by living in THE NOW, it is only in the fullness of time that things happen; that things turn around; that tears are dried and sorrows are replaced by joys; that Love can blossom to great splendour.

Sometimes, time itself can seem to be your enemy, but in reality, time is your best friend. When you acquire Patience, you acquire a freedom from anxiety; and so often anxiety leads to failure. Patience will give you persistence and discipline, and the fruits of this virtue will ripen in many aspects of your life. The patience in doing a job properly. The patience in helping others through difficult times. The patience in waiting for Love... "Waiting for Love, with Love."

Patience is understanding. How often do we lack peace when we need to draw on it most, for as much as life will bring us good times, misfortune will also arise. When those difficult times arrive, we need a source of strength that must be available when needed. We can always call on the support of others, but we must be our own main support. Through our humanness, we have natural limitations, as such, we have limited Patience, but we can make it more enduring by acting with Love, kindness and understanding. To have such an understanding will then greatly increase our Patience. With such a degree of Patience, we can wait in peace for the things that matter and will bring joy to our lives. Patience is strength.

CONTEMPLATION:

To truly Love someone is all encompassing.

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next:Getting Off the Roller Coaster Affirming Your Right to Love

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 10). A Good Way to Love, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, July 9 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/still-my-mind/a-good-way-to-love

Last Updated: July 21, 2014

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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