Self-Esteem: Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful

January 21, 2010 Aimee White

I believe low self-esteem plays an extremely large role in social anxiety. In my head, I have to be this perfect person and have my life all together. Therefore, when scary social situations creep into my trying-so-hard-to-be-perfect life, a vicious cycle begins. I worry so much that people will think less of me if they found out about my anxiety and panic attacks. I worry about worrying! Which then only makes the situation more scary and on and on it goes.

Sometimes dealing with symptoms of anxiety or panic can be frustrating or even downright depressing. I've had days thinking, "Why me?" "Why can't I just be normal?" or other similar thoughts. Engraved deep down inside festered a mistaken belief that I was not worthy of being loved because of my anxiety.

Over time, I've learned that type of negative thinking will never improve my situation, it only makes it worse. The fact is I am not normal, and probably never will be.

Anxiety doesn't define me, but it is a part of who I am. And in order to control my anxiety I have to accept myself as I am right now.


"Even with my anxiety, I am a lovable and valuable person."

Positive affirmations may sound silly, but they really have been one of the best ways for me to cope and slowly build up my self- esteem. Positive affirmations are statements that describe a desired situation. This affirmation I use to help me remember that I am worthy of love even when things are at their worst.

A tip worth mentioning: Post positive affirmations around your home where you will see them often. By reading them often you replace the negative thoughts in your subconscious with the positive ones.


I also like the phrase, "Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful." Embrace that you are different, and look for the good. Anxiety may leave it's scars, but it does a soul some good too. I believe anxiety has blessed me to be more caring and compassionate towards others. It's kept me humble many times. It reminds me to keep an open mind and not be as judgmental to others as I fear they are to me.

"...the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (Samuel 16:7).

We grow the most during times of adversity as opposed to when everything in life is perfect. It is through opposition and adversity that we become stronger, deeper, and wiser individuals.

"Raising one's self-esteem takes changes in behavior. Behavior will change with practice and intention. Self-esteem is an achievement--a process that empowers, energizes and motivates. It is not something that we have, but the experience of things that we do. Self-esteem is the experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness" ( La Belle Foundation S.E.L.F.).

APA Reference
White, A. (2010, January 21). Self-Esteem: Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 19 from

Author: Aimee White

June, 4 2010 at 8:11 am

I like it. It's a very very very nice thoughts. Very nice word. Very nice blog.^_^

May, 4 2010 at 9:47 am

Self-Esteem: Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful | Nitty Gritty of Anxiety - HealthyPlace. A very nice thought.

Aimee White
February, 13 2010 at 4:36 pm

Thank you Dan for all of your helpful comments. I really appreciate them. If you want to share any other techniques on how you were able to raise your self-esteem I would love to hear about them. Take Care!

Dan @ Anxiety Support Network
January, 31 2010 at 2:14 am

Yes, self-esteem is a huge component of social anxiety disorder. Sometimes, I can't figure out which comes first - does the social anxiety cause low self-esteem, or does low self-esteem cause anxiety? In me, I think that the social anxiety has caused low self-esteem, and now, after using many techniques, including the positive affirmations that you have mentioned, I have high self-esteem. However, the social anxiety still can get quite powerful on certain occasions, and I can come away from struggles feeling like a moron, or someone who is incapable. It's really tough to manage on a daily basis, and I am glad that you are blogging about your experiences; others and myself will have lots to learn from them.

Aimee White
January, 28 2010 at 3:24 pm

Against myself,
Perhaps you could work on your self esteem so that you love yourself the way you are. That way, even if you do think people are ridiculing you, it won't bother you as much because you won't care as much. I know, easier said than done, but it may be a step in the right direction. Take some time to list everything that you love about yourself and ways you can develop your talents.

against myself
January, 27 2010 at 5:36 pm

From what I have learned about my own anxiety this is a completely reasonable response to social anxiety. I also have auditory and visual halucinations that I am being ridicueled by certain people in the room. I am on an outrageous amount of medication for this problem and it doesn't completely solve the situation. These thoughts only worsen my depression and self esteem. Sometimes the thought of living this way becomes almost unbearable.

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