Bipolar And Learning to Love Yourself and Others

A professor of mine died last week after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. I had him during my first semester at university for a human spirituality course, and even though I didn’t know him well, I thought he was amazing and admired him very much. He was brilliant and charming and funny, and during the service, so many of his students and colleagues, peers, and other experts in his field spoke of how caring and gentle he was, how he could shrug off anything and just be at peace.

I cried throughout the ceremony. There were so many people there from different walks of life, different faiths and cultures and ages, and he accepted everyone. I learned and realized many things that night, and I’m still struggling with the guilt of not getting to know him better.

Things I Learned

If you love or admire someone, let them know. People always say “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” As much as I hate to say it, it’s true. I didn’t know this professor well at all, but I wish I had told him how much he taught me. That night, I talked to an old teacher of mine who I’m close to and told him how much he means to me.

Always take a step back, breathe, and think. Just be mindful of your surroundings. Take inventory of your emotions and physical feelings. If you feel like self-injuring or yelling or whatever it is, think before you act if you can.

… And don’t argue. This is something I really struggle with. Irritability is a bipolar symptom, and also a bad trait of mine, but I've really been trying to just stop when I'm feeling angry, close my eyes, and breathe deeply.

Just be. Again, take inventory of your thoughts. It's okay to think and feel the things you're feeling. Talk to yourself and try to talk yourself through what's happening.

Appreciate what you have.

Of course, these things are easier said than done, and I’m currently struggling with the idea of just implementing one of them in my life. Remember, though, that we’re all on a journey to recovery – a quest to finding your own personal identity, to be content with yourself, and to love yourself enough to forgive yourself and others.

Schools and universities are filled with many amazing people. Talk to them and get to know them – you never know what you’ll learn, and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to find a lifelong teacher who can still find a way to teach you after they're gone.

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