Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression

November 14, 2023 Karen Mae Vister

The battlefield that I walk into every morning is the intersection of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and depression. Borderline and depression have a way of casting a perpetual gray over even the most vibrant moments of life. Imagine a fog that settles in your mind, distorting your thoughts and sapping the color from your experiences. Borderline PD adds an unpredictable flair to the mix. Being borderline and depressed is like being stuck in a vast ocean of emptiness. It's hard remembering what feeling content was like before the gray set in.

Borderline PD and Depression and the Whiplash of Mood Swings

The rollercoaster of mood swings in this borderline and depression spectacle is something else: from the highs of confidence and conquering tasks during non-depressed moments to the lows that make maintaining relationships and pursuing goals an arduous task. What's particularly soul-crushing is realizing that the motivation for future plans gets snuffed out in an instant.

In the grip of borderline and depression, I become a mere spectator of my own life, watching the world unfold through a hazy filter. Trying to hold onto a sense of self becomes a constant tug-of-war, untangling the emotions threatening to ensnare me.

Every setback, no matter how minor, feels like the end of the world in the clutches of borderline and depression. Rejection isn't just a fleeting disappointment; it's a confirmation of every negative thought echoing in my mind. The world transforms into a distorted funhouse, reflecting the worst aspects of myself in an endless loop.

Navigating the Constant Flux of Borderline and Depression

Not every day I'm equipped to see the glimmer beneath the weight of my diagnoses, but in the midst of disorder, resilience emerges. My shining guides are those minor triumphs: the moments when I manage to crawl out of bed, reach out to a friend, or simply admit that today was hard, but I made it through. It's about finding beauty in the storm, understanding that the same intensity that brings darkness also allows for moments of profound light. 

Living with borderline PD and depression is a constant waltz with the shadows, a journey toward understanding and self-acceptance. No matter my mood, I can confidently claim my better self is in the pursuit of happiness. I remember that my mental health journey is about uncovering beauty in the chaos, discovering strength in vulnerability, and realizing that, despite the storms, there's a resilient spirit that refuses to be extinguished.

APA Reference
Mae, K. (2023, November 14). Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 18 from

Author: Karen Mae Vister

Karen Mae Vister, author of her blog, Over the Borderline, dedicates her work to providing valuable content and support for individuals on the path to recovery from borderline personality disorder. Find Karen Mae on Instagram and her blog.

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