Growth Milestones for Borderline PD Recovery

January 9, 2024 Karen Mae Vister

Growth milestones for borderline personality disorder (BPD) recovery have been a gratifying evolution. Tracking my progress is like observing a baby's journey from crawling to walking and talking. This perspective has softened my self-judgment about living with mental illness, as I tend to be hard on myself. Growth milestones in BPD matter.

Growth Milestone for Borderline PD Recovery: Triumph Over Splitting

I find myself splitting less frequently, able to trust that I can experience anger or hurt without retaliating against those I care about. For me, splitting is this exhausting push and pull between idealization and devaluation. My mastery of refraining from splitting isn't exactly something I can brag about at the dinner table, but honestly, I am pretty proud of myself. Those with complex posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and BPD get the arm wrestling struggle; a splitting episode is an intense bout. My episodes, once epic sagas lasting eons, now simmer down to a mere blip, a fleeting couple of hours to a week at the most. It's a personal triumph, and I'm quietly reveling in my evolution at the dinner table of this growth milestone in BPD.

Growth Milestone for Borderline PD Recovery: Conquering Object and Emotional Impermanence

My next growth milestone for BPD recovery is overcoming object and emotional impermanence. For me, object impermanence refers to the difficulty in maintaining a stable perception of people and things. Simply put, object impermanence is akin to an "out of sight, out of mind" sensation that creeps in when I'm not actively engaged with my loved ones. In those moments, I begin to split. The connection blurs and the warmth I associate with a loved one dissipates. Emotional impermanence, on the other hand, involves the challenge of maintaining stable emotions. I would experience intense and rapidly changing emotions, where what feels true and significant in one moment would shift dramatically in the next. You can imagine how these two symptoms would feed into each other.

Engaging in candid conversations about my experience has become my stronghold in weathering separation from partners, friends, and family. Amidst the growth milestones for BPD recovery, crafting a practical plan of action has been a game-changer. Naming and openly discussing my symptoms has fortified my ability to endure separations from loved ones. Now, I endure longer stretches without feeling severed from them. With words of affirmation, my loved ones reassure me of the importance of our connection. I've also received thoughtful tokens, such as tiny gifts and trinkets, as precious reminders of my favorite people while they are away. 

These are my markers of growth. What are your growth milestones in BPD recovery?

APA Reference
Mae, K. (2024, January 9). Growth Milestones for Borderline PD Recovery, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 30 from

Author: Karen Mae Vister

Karen Mae Vister, author of her blog, Over the Borderline, dedicates her work to providing valuable content and support for individuals on the path to recovery from borderline personality disorder. Find Karen Mae on Instagram and her blog.

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