advertisement

Relationships and Dating

Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself, so it's important to be true to yourself. Other people are important, of course, but you are the person you spend the most amount of time with. You are the person who deeply feels your ups and downs. You are the person who has the strongest insights and connections to your hopes, dreams, and passions. It is you who takes actions, even when those actions involve others, toward your mental health and wellbeing.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
Living with mental illness or mental health challenges can be frustrating. It can complicate the stuff of life, such as making and keeping friendships. In the last post, we explored some obstacles mental illness throws in the way of friendships, as well as a vital first step in friendships: becoming a friend to yourself. Now we'll turn to some practical tips for making friends when you are dealing with mental health difficulties.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
If you have difficulties with friendships and mental illness, you're not alone. Friendships are trickier than TV or movies make them seem. Also, living with mental health challenges--whether it's a diagnosed mental illness, personality disorder, or anxious thoughts and low mood that aren't diagnosable but still bothersome--adds a layer of difficulty to things that other people take for granted. You don't have to be forever frustrated by friendships or the lack of them. By starting with yourself and gradually moving outward with purpose, you can have quality, meaningful friendships no matter what mental health challenges you may face.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
Comparing yourself to other people is a natural human tendency. We all do it, often without even meaning to. If you find yourself comparing yourself to people, that definitely doesn't mean you're a terrible person. It might mean, though, that you feel anxious and inadequate sometimes or a lot of the time.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
Healthy relationships, whether they're friendships, romantic relationships, family ties, or connections with coworkers, are important for our mental health and wellbeing. Unfortunately, not all relationships are healthy and positive. Some are downright abusive, and others, while falling short of abuse, are toxic.  Here are six early warning signs of toxic behavior to help you spot dangerous actions and attitudes before they escalate or you become trapped in a relationship that may harm your wellbeing and interfere with your quality of life.
Annabelle Clawson
When your mental illness impacts your relationships, it can harm your self-esteem and your happiness. From the time we're infants, we are bombarded with depictions of love and belonging, usually in an idealistic film or a sappy novel. It's natural that we stumble into the desire for those same kinds of relationships. We have an innate need for it--we yearn to love and be loved.
Shelby Tweten
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) and new relationships create a challenge. We all know borderline personalities have an issue with relationships, but is there a way to make it start out more healthy--can we learn to take it slow? Let's look at the importance of taking it slow with BPD and new relationships, and how borderline can make it difficult to not get caught up in the moment.
Shelby Tweten
People who struggle with mental illness, especially borderline, can have a hard time keeping their own sense of self within a relationship, making heartbreak that much more painful. I know I am definitely guilty of this. How do I not feel lost when I lost such a big part of my life? As I'm still trying to process losing my relationship, I'm being forced to find a new sense of self that allows me to feel safe alone.
Shelby Tweten
Unfortunately, borderline and relationships just don't seem to go hand in hand. Everywhere you look there's talk of how it just won't work and your constant fear of abandonment will only leave you controlling and dependent. Sometimes all you can feel is alone. Relationships with borderline are tough.
Shelby Tweten
In my last post, I talked about my upcoming trip to couples counseling with my boyfriend. I voiced my fears that couples therapy could be detrimental to the relationship because maybe there were more problems than I thought. I realized that rather than us having problems together, we both suffered a lot of trauma separately that created imagined problems in our head. Although I was right about the imagined problems, couples counseling opened my eyes to my own problems and gave me incentive to continue with individual therapy.