Children with Psychiatric Illness Require Thoughtful Discipline

Today's Phone Call from School involved a camera. My first (horrified) thought was that Bob had been sneaking bathroom-cam video of his female classmates, but it wasn't quite that serious. He had merely taken his camera to school, insisted on having it out during class, and refused to put it away. But when the teacher took it from him, his anger escalated to the point he shoved another student, threw a book, and ran out of the classroom. Staff found him hiding in the restroom and the principal escorted him to the office.

And it's only Tuesday morning (What Works When Disciplining a Child with Mental Illness).

Disciplining a Child with a Psychiatric Illness Requires Careful Consideration

I now have the next six hours to determine an appropriate punishment for the crime; which means I have to dissect this incident carefully. If Bob were any other child, I would take the camera away for a predetermined (and lengthy) period of time and probably ground him from some cherished activity, like video games or TV time. In Bob's case, however, it's more than a matter of a kid doing dumb kid stuff. There are other factors to consider:

Bob's current state of crisis--This is the time of year when Bob tends toward mania as his primary mood.

The rules--which haven't changed.

Bob's teacher noted he's having his most difficult time in the morning, before lunch. Knowing what little I know about bipolar and circadian rhythm and changing light/dark patterns this time of year, I can only wonder if Bob is maybe not "with it" until after lunch? He's not sleeping, but that doesn't mean he isn't tired. Maybe his body and mind aren't fully waking until after he's had his grilled cheese and fruit.

Psychiatric Illness Doesn't Erase the Rules--Discipline Is Still Necessary

Mania and daylight hours aside, the fact remains our rule is NO TOYS OR OTHER MISCELLANY FROM HOME TO SCHOOL WITHOUT EXPRESS PARENTAL PERMISSION, period. Bob is notorious for trying to get around this rule, which is why we perform random backpack inspections. (Of course, no inspection was performed this morning.) His father has made this more difficult by giving him a Swiss Army backpack with about 700 pockets in which to stash contraband.

So...for starters, the camera is on probation. It will be placed in my custody until further notice.

Second, because he cannot be trusted to not sneak things to school, his multi-pocketed backpack will be returned to Dad's house and replaced with a plain old book bag. One chamber. Two handles. Zero secret compartments.

Third, and hardest to address, the explosive anger reaction to his reprimand at school. Knowing he has little control over his actions in his morning state makes it hard to punish him. Still, he has to know there are consequences for his behavior regardless of the "why." So he will lose television privileges for the evening and will be assigned an extra chore.

I'm beginning to think it's time I add "management and supervisory skills" to my resume. I certainly often feel more like an HR Director than a parent.