Mental Illness - When Your Family Won't Believe You

Im a mom of 11 kids. Am one of 14 siblings.I married abt 16, had 5 kids with husband # 1, then hé was dior & killed by a purse snatcher in St. Louis. I Married again in a yr & had 6 more kids. After 17 yrs we were run over by a tractor tr. My husband was killed outright. I was left crippled. I married again to a man 17 yrs older than me. Hé never had kids, but took care of me & raised thé 8 kids still at home.After all thé kids are grown, mardis then they start coming out with thèse things I didnt know about. I was in & out of thé hospital.4 of thé girls, one was 3 yrs old was molested by her stepbrother. My 2nd husband had molested my oldest daughter, then her husband molested my son. Now. My youngest daughter, & my s on wont talk to me at all. The son says hearing my voice brings back bad memories, & thé daughter says she wants to make sure her kids are safe, so I cant even call her or them,or write them a letter, yet she says I lové you, BUT. I am so depressed, hâve even felt suicidal this week. I hâve a phychiatrist. I just cant comme to grips why they are blaming me when I never suspected anything.at my home of 14 kids we had nothing like that go on, so It didnt cross my mind to watch for something like that, I know is horrible for them in memory.I've asked if they want to press charges. I will do what I can to help them. They dont want to even talk to me.What do you suggest. I do in my case..

i have suffered i believe with borderline which by the way had been misdiagnosed with bipolar i think since i was like 15 or even younger i remember having horrible up and down mood swings and at one point st 9 yrs old thinking of drowning myself in the bathtub oneday and at 16 actually swallowin ammonia to try and actually follow through with this horrible real attempt and nothing happened just was real sick for a day or two my family will not believe me or most of them wont i tried so many psyciatrists and in my personal experiences it seems that tere are alot of family member a in denial b that are abusers and instigators as i call them and c the traumatizors who actually caused some of these behaviours in quite a bit of bpds lives and those people usually get away with their abuse aka traumatizing actions and are almost never confronted im talking about incest, rape, horrible physical abuse verbal as well my mother has claimed she was ,olested by a family member but noone will believe her ; i was molested by my biological father noone would believe me either and now my poor daughter whom, i barley have a relationship with because of my self damaging behaviours has recentley opened up to me that she was molested by a friend of mines son at the age of four i am deeply concerned for her she is in therapy but has exhibited signs of self mutilation which ive only personally experienced maybe three times as well as some eating disorders and i am so damn angry at these abusers out there especially these asshole childmolesters i just want to go and kill this guy in my fantasies i can see me choking the life outta this jerkoff i mean he was only 16 himself when he did it its just im so damn angry that people like this keep getting away with raping kids i mean what justice is there for this child now shes 16 now herself and just like told me this over the summertime shes been suffering with anger depression anxiety and all these GOd awful things its close to xmas time and i have been too worthless and depressed to work i pray i can send her something she wants for xmas But my one point besides just venting is damnit sometimes You just cant reunite your family some families are just to unforgiving hatefuland just plain closeminded and in denial I just hope evryone out there with this disorder severley is with me on this subject i will close with when are we going to find medications that really do work for us I WOULD LIKE JOIN AN ADVOCACY GROUP PROTESTING ABOUT THE LACK OF CONCERN FOR TREATMENT OF BPD DISORDER