Growing Up Can Cause Self-Harm, but It Doesn't Have To

January 10, 2015 Jennifer Aline Graham

It isn’t easy growing up – that is a hard, long-known fact. Adolescence is when change is constantly occurring and it is also when many of those who struggle with self-harm become addicted. This isn’t the case for all because there are many individuals who begin self-injurious behaviors before they hit their teens and some who begin self-harm during adult years.

Since we are continuously growing, there is always the possibility of change and we cannot fear it or react to it in a negative way. The best way to handle it is to face it, absorb it and move forward with it the best way you can.

Because physically harming our bodies will not make change and growth stop.

Even in Your 20s, Growing Up Can be Hard and Cause Self-Harm

It's not easy to grow up and no matter what our age, stressors come up that can cause self-harm. Here are tips on growing up safely, without self-injury.

I am smack in the middle of everyone around me getting married, engaged or popping out babies. Just in this past year, I attended six weddings, two baby showers and one bridal shower. Recently, one of my best friends (who was also a college roommate) gave birth to a baby girl. Everyone around me is moving in the craziest directions and even though I may not be getting engaged or popping out a kid any time soon, I still feel a little anxiety from being in my 20s.

This just shows that at any age you are bound to have stressors thrown at you and if you aren’t prepared to catch them, you could turn to unsafe coping skills, such as self-harm, as ways to handle the whirlwind of emotions. In all reality, you can’t fully prepare yourself for growing up. It is a part of life that just happens automatically and there is no remote control allowing you to rewind or pause moments to your decisions. The choices you make grow with you as you grow up and that needs to be remembered as those decisions are made.

A Poem to Grow Up With to Avoid Self-Harm

My brother, like myself, was a writer and one of my favorite poems he wrote goes as follows:

“The choices we caress shall please us in return, ‘less we makes our lives a mess and tease both ends of candle burn.”

Initially, it took me a few minutes to really understand what he was saying. After absorbing it a few more times, I realized he was telling us to make good decisions because if we don’t, we will get hurt.

When we choose to self-harm, we are not only physically hurting ourselves, but hurting our future selves as well. We must make safe choices if we want to live the healthy life we wish. My brother’s poem is very similar to the idea of Karma – if you are good to others, good will come to you. The same goes for your own body. The bottom line is, if you want to grow into the person you wish to become, you must be good to yourself.

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APA Reference
Aline, J. (2015, January 10). Growing Up Can Cause Self-Harm, but It Doesn't Have To, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 22 from

Author: Jennifer Aline Graham

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