Do We Ever Really ‘Have it Together’?

February 2, 2011 Theresa Fung

There are some people who just seem to “have it together” – they ease through life with minimal trouble, and seem to have a certain je ne sais quoi about them. They never seem to have problems finding a boyfriend/girlfriend, have good jobs, a great network of friends and are by all standards – successful. I’ve encountered a few of these fine specimens in my lifetime and am always left feeling a little awe-inspired…and inadequate.

havingittogether - The Unlocked Life blog

It’s not that I feel bad about myself, my accomplishments or my place in life. It’s just that these people seem to have it, whatever that “it” is. Call it inadequacy by comparison, but there is something very alluring and attractive about these people. When I was a little kid, I thought that at my age I would have my life in order, but now I’m beginning to think that having it together might be along the lines of Santa Clause – a myth.

But there does seem to be a common thread amongst these people – they have an undeniable self-confidence. Here is a list of common areas that may prevent you from feeling like you have it together. Which of these areas could you improve on?

  • Finances – are debts and loans weighing you down? Living more frugally and speaking to a financial advisor might help to get your finances in order.
  • Education and Career – do you feel like your education could use some upgrading in order to improve career opportunities? Consider taking classes to update your skills. Or if you are unhappy with your current career, consider a career switch. Life is too short to spend 8 hours a day or more doing something unfulfilling.
  • Friends and Family – are your relationships with family or friends strained? Or maybe you’ve outgrown your old friends and are looking to meet some more like-minded people. Don’t sit back and wish your social connections could be better – do something about it. Reach out to long-lost family members and get out there to meet new people. At least you can feel better knowing you’ve made an effort.
  • Health – health is one of those vital things in life that we take for granted. Whether it is physical, mental, or emotional health that is ailing you, taking it day by day, having a positive attitude and having a strong support network can help you get through tough times. Check out my post Tips for a Healthier and Happier You.
  • Goals and Dreams – just because we’ve grown up and have responsibilities now doesn’t mean that we should abandon the goals and dreams we’ve had since childhood. Now is the time to re-evaluate any lingering desires and make realistic plans to attain them. Maybe you dreamed about being an astronaut when you were a kid. It might not be feasible to become an astronaut now, but perhaps your interest in space could mean that you join an astronomy club, or further your education in this area. Or if your dream has always been to own your own business, what’s really holding you back?
  • Travel and Leisure – Maybe you work long hours and would like to have more free time. Or perhaps your financial situation is holding you back from traveling. Make a plan to achieve a healthier work-life balance; sometimes forgoing a bit of extra income is worth it if you have more time to yourself. Or if you have always dreamed of going to Europe, set up a separate bank account and make regular deposits each paycheck until your dream becomes reality.
  • Romantic Relationships – still waiting for Mr. or Miss Right? Or maybe your current relationship could use some work. Self-confidence is the key to attracting the right person, and will also give you the strength to stick up for yourself, or leave your current partner if it is a broken relationship.

Maybe nobody ever really feels like they have it together – it could all be a facade. But in an attempt to emulate these “it-sters” (because imitation is the best form of flattery), I am determined to fake it until it becomes reality.

APA Reference
Fung, T. (2011, February 2). Do We Ever Really ‘Have it Together’?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 15 from

Author: Theresa Fung

November, 9 2012 at 4:14 am

Chase won't tell us what the problem is, or what the resolution time is. Increased fees for using ATM machines are also being considered, as well as fees if you DON. Bank of America all online banking security tweeted, but it does not solve the problem.

Kellie Holly
February, 4 2011 at 1:56 am

"Fake it 'til you make it" - God love Mary Kay and my mother who sold her cosmetics for some time.
When you stop thinking everyone else has got it together and start seeing that problems plague us all (the only difference is in the way we handle and project the problems!), then you're 90% of the way to having "it" too!

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