Bipolar Disorder and Relationships: Am I Lovable?
Living with bipolar disorder does not mean that we are unlovable and incapable of finding someone who reciprocates our love. Today, I'm sharing the reasons why we should stop asking ourselves this question.
Am I Lovable as Someone Living with Bipolar Disorder?
Yes, you are lovable. When you live with bipolar disorder, the idea that you are unlovable is continuously reinforced. It is devastating to think that you are unlovable. You start to wonder if people with bipolar disorder should even be in relationships.
As someone living with bipolar 2 disorder, with experience in romantic relationships, I understand how difficult it is to ask yourself, "Am I lovable?" However, I have realized that asking myself this question is unfair. Of course, we are lovable individuals. We have much to offer another person in a romantic relationship, but we focus too harshly on what we are incapable of contributing to another person's life. Concentrating on what makes us wrong for another person emphasizes our already existing insecurities. It is essential that we do not let others dictate our self-worth, especially in a relationship.
Bipolar Disorder and Relationships
Relationships are challenging regardless of whether mental illness exists or not. So why should we beat ourselves up? We live with bipolar disorder, but we are human. We make mistakes, but for some reason, we highlight those mistakes and beat ourselves down. It is essential we stop asking ourselves questions such as, "Am I lovable?" Instead, we should be asking questions such as, "Is this person worth the love I am capable of giving?"
When someone lives with any type illness, physical or mental, challenges are going to arise in your relationship. Facing challenges and overcoming obstacles together makes your relationship stronger. Living with bipolar disorder is not easy, but we make it more difficult when we always question ourselves. Trust me; I have been there, still feeling like the underdog in a relationship just because I wear a label that society deems as wrong and inadequate. Society's problem is not our problem.
It is important to focus on our qualities, passions in life and what makes us the right person, not the wrong person for someone else. We are not unlovable just because we have bipolar disorder. We can open a person's mind to new experiences and a new perspective on life. You are lovable, and a beautiful person. Let's start treating ourselves like it and stop asking ourselves such disheartening questions.
Blum, H. (2018, August 14). Bipolar Disorder and Relationships: Am I Lovable?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, July 14 from https://www.healthyplace.com/living-with-bipolar-blog/2018/8/bipolar-disorder-and-relationships-am-i-lovable
Author: Hannah Blum
Hi I am in love with a great guy, we dated for two months without any fights just very in love, I think I made a mistake not recognizing signs he was going through a challenging time. I thought he was less interested in me and when he asked me to go out again after two weeks of changing plans I took it personally and told him that despite the fact I was missing him, I wasn’t feeling like spending the night with him at those terms, I wrote to him I needed to spend time with him to reconnect because he was not as present and attentive as he used to be. After three long days he replied he was sorry he put me in such a bad situation, that he needed to solve some problems regarding him alone and had to do it on his own :-( He wrote he was very sorry he hadn’t been the same companion to me as he had been before. I replied I love him he replied that not only my world is fantastic, meaning he always called me I live in my own fantastic world... and sends me a kiss. After that days of unreplied messages, two long calls he tried to explain what he was going through and then now it is twenty days he has not replied to my messages :-( I have written to him today Stating I am very sorry for what I wrote I am sorry I didn’t understand that the night he wanted to spend with me was already a big effort for him, I feel very bad. He has not replied yet. What else can I say to make him understand that I never wanted to give us up?
Thank you, very helpful.