The Delusional Way Out

The study of narcissism is a century old and the two scholarly debates central to its conception are still undecided. Is there such a thing as HEALTHY adult narcissism (Kohut) - or are all the manifestations of narcissism in adulthood pathological (Freud, Kernberg)? Moreover, is pathological narcissism the outcome of verbal, sexual, physical, or psychological abuse (the overwhelming view) - or, on the contrary, the sad result of spoiling the child and idolizing it (Millon, the late Freud)?

The second debate is easier to resolve if one agrees to adopt a more comprehensive definition of "abuse". Overweening, smothering, spoiling, overvaluing, and idolizing the child - are all forms of parental abuse.

This is because, as Horney pointed out, the child is dehumanized and instrumentalized. His parents love him not for what he really is - but for what they wish and imagine him to be: the fulfilment of their dreams and frustrated wishes. The child becomes the vessel of his parents' discontented lives, a tool, the magic brush with which they can transform their failures into successes, their humiliation into victory, their frustrations into happiness. The child is taught to ignore reality and to occupy the parental fantastic space. Such an unfortunate child feels omnipotent and omniscient, perfect and brilliant, worthy of adoration and entitled to special treatment. The faculties that are honed by constantly brushing against bruising reality - empathy, compassion, a realistic assessment of one's abilities and limitations, realistic expectations of oneself and of others, personal boundaries, team work, social skills, perseverance and goal-orientation, not to mention the ability to postpone gratification and to work hard to achieve it - are all lacking or missing altogether. The child turned adult sees no reason to invest in his skills and education, convinced that his inherent genius should suffice. He feels entitled for merely being, rather than for actually doing (rather as the nobility in days gone by felt entitled not by virtue of its merit but as the inevitable, foreordained outcome of its birth right). In other words, he is not meritocratic - but aristocratic. In short: a narcissist is born.

But such a mental structure is brittle, susceptible to criticism and disagreement, vulnerable to the incessant encounter with a harsh and intolerant world. Deep inside, narcissists of both kinds (those wrought by "classic" abuse and those yielded by being idolized) - feel inadequate, phoney, fake, inferior, and deserving of punishment. This is Millon's mistake. He makes a distinction between several types of narcissists. He wrongly assumes that the "classic" narcissist is the outcome of overvaluation, idolization, and spoiling and, thus, is possessed of supreme, unchallenged, self confidence, and is devoid of all self-doubt. According to Millon, it is the "compensatory" narcissist that falls prey to nagging self doubts, feelings of inferiority, and a masochistic desire for self-punishment. Yet, the distinction is both wrong and unnecessary. There is only ONE type of narcissist - though there are TWO developmental paths to it. And ALL narcissists are besieged by deeply ingrained (though at times not conscious) feelings of inadequacy, fears of failure, masochistic desires to be penalized, a fluctuating sense of self worth (regulated by narcissistic supply), and an overwhelming sensation of fakeness.

 

The "grandiosity gap" (between a fantastically grandiose - and unlimited - self-image and actual - limited - accomplishments and achievements) is grating. Its recurrence threatens the precariously balanced house of cards that is the narcissistic personality. The narcissist finds, to his chagrin, that people out there are much less admiring, accommodating and accepting than his parents. As he grows old, the narcissist often become the target of constant derision and mockery, a sorry sight indeed. His claims for superiority appear less plausible and substantial the more and the longer he makes them.

The narcissist then resorts to self-delusion. Unable to completely ignore contrarian opinion and data - he transmutes them. Unable to face the dismal failure that he is, the narcissist partially withdraws from reality. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, half-truths and outlandish interpretations of events around him. These solutions can be classified thus:

The Delusional Narrative Solutions

The narcissist constructs a narrative in which he figures as the hero - brilliant, perfect, irresistibly handsome, destined for great things, entitled, powerful, wealthy, the centre of attention, etc. The bigger the strain on this delusional charade - the greater the gap between fantasy and reality - the more the delusion coalesces and solidifies.

Finally, if it is sufficiently protracted, it replaces reality and the narcissist's reality test deteriorates. He withdraws his bridges and may become Schizotypal, catatonic, or schizoid.

 

The Reality Renouncing Solutions

The narcissist renounces reality. To his mind, those who pusillanimously fail to recognize his unbound talents, innate superiority, overarching brilliance, benevolent nature, entitlement, cosmically important mission, perfection, etc. - do not deserve consideration. The narcissist's natural affinity with the criminal - his lack of empathy and compassion, his deficient social skills, his disregard for social laws and morals - now erupts and blossoms. He becomes a full fledged antisocial (sociopath or psychopath). He ignores the wishes and needs of others, he breaks the law, he violates all rights - natural and legal, he hold people in contempt and disdain, he derides society and its codes, he punishes the ignorant ingrates - that, to his mind, drove him to this state - by acting criminally and by jeopardising their safety, lives, or property.


 


The Paranoid Schizoid Solution

The narcissist develops persecutory delusions. He perceives slights and insults where none were intended. He becomes subject to ideas of reference (people are gossiping about him, mocking him, prying into his affairs, cracking his e-mail, etc.). He is convinced that he is the centre of malign and mal-intentioned attention. People are conspiring to humiliate him, punish him, abscond with his property, delude him, impoverish him, confine him physically or intellectually, censor him, impose on his time, force him to action (or to inaction), frighten him, coerce him, surround and besiege him, change his mind, part with his values, even murder him, and so on.

Some narcissists withdraw completely from a world populated with such minacious and ominous objects (really projections of internal objects and processes). They avoid all social contact, except the most necessary. They refrain from meeting people, falling in love, having sex, talking to others, or even corresponding with them. In short: they become schizoids - not out of social shyness, but out of what they feel to be their choice. "The world does not deserve me" - goes the inner refrain - "and I shall waste none of my time and resources on it".

The Paranoid Aggressive (Explosive) Solution

Other narcissists who develop persecutory delusions, resort to an aggressive stance, a more violent resolution of their internal conflict. They become verbally, psychologically, situationally (and, very rarely, physically) abusive. They insult, castigate, chastise, berate, demean, and deride their nearest and dearest (often well wishers and loved ones). They explode in unprovoked displays of indignation, righteousness, condemnation, and blame. Theirs is an exegetic Bedlam. They interpret everything - even the most innocuous, inadvertent, and innocent - as designed to provoke and humiliate them. They sow fear, revulsion, hate, and malignant envy. They flail against the windmills of reality - a pathetic, forlorn, sight. But often they cause real and lasting damage - fortunately, mainly to themselves.

 


 

next: The Selfish Gene -The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 19). The Delusional Way Out, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/the-delusional-way-out

Last Updated: July 3, 2018

Ideas of Reference

The narcissist is the centre of the world. He is not merely the centre of HIS world - as far as he can tell, he is the centre of THE world. This Archimedean delusion is one of the narcissist's most predominant and all-pervasive cognitive distortions. The narcissist feels certain that he is the source of all events around him, the origin of all the emotions of his nearest or dearest, the fount of all knowledge, both the first and the final cause, the beginning as well as the end.

This is understandable.

The narcissist derives his sense of being, his experience of his own existence, and his self worth from the outside. He mines others for narcissistic supply - adulation, attention, reflection, fear. Their reactions stalk his furnace. Absent narcissistic supply - the narcissist disintegrates and self-annihilates. When unnoticed, he feels empty and worthless. The narcissist MUST delude himself into believing that he is persistently the focus and object of the attentions, intentions, plans, feelings, and stratagems of other people. The narcissist faces a stark choice - either be (or become) the permanent centre of the world, or cease to be altogether.

This constant obsession with one's locus, with one's centrality, with one's position as a hub - leads to referential ideation ("ideas of reference"). This is the conviction that one is at the receiving end of other people's behaviours, speech, and even thoughts. The person suffering from delusional ideas of reference is at an imaginary centre of constant attention.

When people talk - the narcissist is convinced that he is the topic of discussion. When they quarrel - he is most probably the cause. When they smirk - he is the victim of their ridicule. If they are unhappy - he made them so. If they are happy - they are egotists for ignoring him. He is convinced that his behaviour is continuously monitored, criticized, compared, dissected, approved of, or imitated by others. He deems himself so indispensable and important, such a critical component of other people's lives, that his every act, his every word, his every omission - is bound to upset, hurt, uplift, or satisfy his audience.

And, to the narcissist, everyone is but an audience. It all emanates from him - and it all reverts to him. The narcissist's is a circular and closed universe. His ideas of reference are a natural extension of his primitive defence mechanisms (omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresence).

Being omnipresent explains why everyone, everywhere is concerned with him. Being omnipotent and omniscient excludes other, lesser, beings from enjoying the admiration, adulation, and attention of people.

Yet, the attrition afforded by years of tormenting ideas of reference inevitably yields paranoiac thinking.

To preserve his egocentric cosmology, the narcissist is compelled to attribute fitting motives and psychological dynamics to others. Such motives and dynamics have little to do with reality. They are PROJECTED by the narcissist UNTO others so as to maintain his personal mythology.

In other words, the narcissist attributes to others HIS OWN motives and psychodynamics. And since narcissists are mostly besieged by transformations of aggression (rage, hatred, envy, fear) - these they often attribute to others as well. Thus, the narcissist tends to interpret other people's behaviour as motivated by anger, fear, hatred, or envy and as directed at him or revolving around him. The narcissist (often erroneously) believes that people discuss him, gossip about him, hate him, defame him, mock him, berate him, underestimate him, envy him, or fear him. He is (often rightly) convinced that he is, to others, the source of hurt, humiliation, impropriety, and indignation. The narcissist "knows" that he is a wonderful, powerful, talented, and entertaining person - but this only explains why people are jealous and why they seek to undermine and destroy him.

Thus, since the narcissist is unable to secure the long term POSITIVE love, admiration, or even attention of his sources of supply - he resorts to a mirror strategy. In other words, the narcissist becomes paranoid. Better to be the object of (often imaginary and always self inflicted) derision, scorn, and bile - than to be ignored. Being envied is preferable to being treated with indifference. If he cannot be loved - the narcissist would rather be feared or hated than forgotten.


 

next: The Delusional Way Out

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 19). Ideas of Reference, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/ideas-of-reference

Last Updated: July 3, 2018

A Holiday Grudge

Holiday blues are a common occurrence even among the mentally sound. In me they provoke a particularly virulent strain of pathological envy. I am jealous at others for having a family, or for being able to celebrate lavishly, or for being in the right, festive mood. My cognitive dissonances crumble. I keep telling myself: "look at those inferior imitations of humans, slaves of their animated corpses, wasting their time, pretending to be happy". Yet, deep inside, I know that I am the defective one. I realize that my inability to rejoice is a protracted and unusual punishment meted out to me by my very self. I am sad and enraged. I want to spoil it for those who can. I want them to share my misery, to reduce them to my level of emotional abstinence and absence.

I hate humans because I am unable to be one.

A long time ago, I wrote:

"I hate holidays and birthdays, including my birthday. It is because I hate it when other people are happy if I am not the cause of it. I have to be the prime mover and shaker of EVERYONE's moods. And no one will tell me HOW I should feel. I am my own master. I feel that their happiness is false, fake, forced. I feel that they are hypocrites, dissimulating joy where there is none. I feel envious, humiliated by my envy, and enraged by my humiliation. I feel that they are the recipients of a gift I will never have: the ability to enjoy life and to feel joy.

And then I do my best to destroy their mood: I bring bad news, provoke a fight, make a disparaging remark, project a dire future, sow uncertainty in the relationship, and when the other person is sour and sad, I feel relieved.

It's back to normal. My mood improves dramatically and I try to cheer her up. Now if she does cheer up - it is REAL. It is my doing. I controlled it.

And I controlled HER."

 

Holidays remind me of my childhood, of the supportive and loving family I never had, of what could have been, and never was, and, as I grow older, I know, will never be. I feel deprived and, coupled with my rampant paranoia, I feel cheated and persecuted. I rail against the indifferent injustice of a faceless, cold world. Holidays are a conspiracy of the emotional haves against the emotional haves not.

Birthdays are an injury, an imposition, a reminder of vulnerability, a fake event artificially construed. I destroy in order to equalize the misery. I rage in order to induce rage. Holidays create in me an abandon of negative, nihilistic emotions, the only ones I consciously possess.

On holidays and on my birthday, I make it a point to carry on routinely.

I accept no gifts, I do not celebrate, I work till the wee hours of the night. It is a demonstrative refusal to participate, a rejection of social norms, an "in your face" statement of withdrawal. It makes me feel unique. It makes me feel even more deprived and punished. It feeds the furnace of hatred, the bestial anger, the all engulfing scorn I harbour. I want to be drawn out of my sulk and pouting - yet, I decline any such offer, evade any such attempt, hurt those who try to make me smile and to forget. In times like that, in holidays and birthdays, I am reminded of this fundamental truth: my voluptuous, virulent, spiteful, hissing and spitting grudge is all I have. Those who threaten to take it away from me - with their love, affection, compassion, or care - are my mortal enemies indeed.

 


 

next: Ideas of Reference

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 19). A Holiday Grudge, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/a-holiday-grudge

Last Updated: July 2, 2018

Chapter 1: Worshiping Alcohol

Chapter 1: Worshiping Alcohol

I picked up my first drink at age 15. It was April 10, 1990. I remember the date because it was the first day of Spring Break. The concoction was a mixture with vodka from my parent's liquor cabinet. I drank alone in my room late at night.

Although I drank with other people at times, I never had a social drink in my life. I always ended up intoxicated because I thought that since one drink of this "medicine" made me feel good, then two drinks would make me feel better.

I had three ways of obtaining alcohol when I was that young and I would go to any length to get it. One, was my parents supply that they hardly ever used. I would pour the booze out into a glass and fill the bottle back up with water. It wasn't long before all my parent's liquor bottles had nothing but water in them. So, my second method was to ride my bike to my grandmother's house that was seven miles away. This was also a limited supply because she didn't drink often so she also didn't have much alcohol around. My third option was to make my own wine in my basement. This was awful tasting.

Progressing from my first drink to alcoholism. Visit Raw Psychology Addictions site.I ended up finding older people to purchase alcohol for me at age 16. For the next four years, I would drive people down to the inner-city neighborhoods so they could get their drugs. I would accept cash or alcohol for the "illegal taxi fare." I did this underground taxi business with enthusiasm, for the thrill at first. Later, I did it with anxiety, for the need of alcohol.

When I drank, all the problems I had were gone. It was like I could turn my mind off. All the anxiety, confusion, worry, and nervousness were gone. More powerful, was the fact that when I was drunk, I didn't care that I had no place to fit in among others. Even in groups, I had always felt isolated. However, with the drink, I could be content in my isolation.

I joined high school sports teams later that same year, which I think is why my alcoholism did not progress beyond the weekends during my mid-teens. The active involvement with a group of guys that I could identify with was a healthy alternative to alcohol and it also cured the problems I mentioned above. However, the drinking was still recorded in my mind as a "quick cure" to my issues. Besides, joining the sports involved effort. I actually had to take the time to get to know people and participate.

Years into the future, I remembered the drink was much faster and easier. But at this time, I would only drink on the weekends. I would have fun going out after the local curfew for minors, then running away from the cops when I was drunk. I got a real kick out of the fact that they couldn't catch me. I did some minor mischief but nothing real bad. I drank every single weekend. Looking back, I now realize that King Alcohol was kind of like my religion. I never thought of it this way back then, but I can now see that I worshiped every weekend and I worshiped well. Alcohol became part of my soul. Alcohol became my spirit.

next: Chapter 2: Drunk Feelings were the Only Feelings
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Chapter 1: Worshiping Alcohol, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/chapter-1-worshiping-alcohol

Last Updated: April 26, 2019

How to Have Good Sex Homepage

how to have good sex

Man and Woman KissingIt's more than giving her an orgasm and performing oral sex on him.

If you want to have good sex, make that great sex, first you need to feel good about yourself. That includes your body and your mind. Then you need to let your partners feel good about themselves.

Now, I know many of you read Cosmo (and don't tell me you don't). You know, the women's magazine with the Top (fill in the number) lists on "How to Please Your Man," "How to Please Yourself," "How to (you name the sex topic)." You can make all the jokes you want, but the one thing we can agree on is those lists get right to the point.

For instance, here are the 10 sizzling secrets of Women Who Love Sex.

    1. I can switch on my sex drive.

      Sensually supercharged women don't wait around patiently for the mood to strike. Instead, they set in motion the sex-psyching strategies that work for them every time. They conjure up a fantasy. Another libido-lifting trick is to wake up your senses: Spritz on your man's cologne, brush satiny fabric against your skin, or suck on some fruit. "Taking time to engage each sense - touch, taste, sound, scent, and sight - will quickly kick-start your lust drive.

    2. My body is my pleasure palace.

      A desire diva doesn't waste time fretting about stubble and cellulite or wishing she didn't take so long to climax. Instead, she sees herself as a carnal conduit loaded with sensual capabilities. How did these chicks become so aware of their pleasure points? Chances are, they'll credit masturbation.


 


  1. I know I'm a sex goddess.

    Long ago, I learned that men are turned on by a woman who is uninhibited about her sexuality. My current beau would rather date a confident woman with an imperfect figure than a 36-24-36 chick who's too timid to show her shape.

    The tricky thing about sexual confidence, as any carnal cowgirl will admit, is that you need a little to begin with before it can blossom into a natural part of your passion personality. So how do you start? "Fake it at first - that's what I did," admits Bari, a 25-year-old designer. "My now-boyfriend was a coworker of mine whom I had a massive crush on. So I mentally made over my attitude from mousy staffer to office tramp, asked him out for a beer, and let my inner sex goddess loose. Six months of incredible action later, I still haven't reined in that attitude."

  2. I speak up for myself in the sack.

    Men love to please. But even the most perceptive guy in the world won't have your moan zones all mapped out. Tell your partners how you like to be touched.

    If you're not used to being so erotically expressive, clue in your man by praising his sexual performance. Compliment him on what he does do well, then add a subtle suggestion: "It turns me on so much when you kiss my breasts, I'd go wild if you put your hand between my legs too."

  3. It's not if I have an orgasm - it's how.

    Women who ooze erotic energy don't view their Big O as a lucky bonus. Instead, reaching the pleasure pinnacle is their right. Men don't consider it sex unless they have an orgasm.

    "I wish every woman would tattoo I deserve great sex on her brain," says Gina Ogden, Ph.D., author of Women Who Love Sex. "Sexual satisfaction is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't expect to be peeled off the ceiling, it won't happen." So start believing that every-time orgasms aren't elusive rewards reserved for select women - they're yours for the taking.

  4. I've mastered one signature sex move.

    Mastering at least one unique, naughty-but-nice move can morph you from a hot-and-heavy lover to holy moly! sex-partner status. But you don't have to focus on his G-rated hot spots alone or a specific sexual act. Your signature style can be about invoking an entire mood: sweetly simple, daring and dirty, or pushing the erotic envelope.

  5. I get to know his secret desires.

    Sexually charged chiquitas know that ecstasy is much more exciting when you skip the paint-by-numbers passion plan. There's nothing hotter than getting to know your partner and finding out which unique moves get him going. He'll be blown away by having a willing woman explore his secret desires.

    Taking the time to experiment with new caresses and positions won't just make your guy grovel, it'll expand your idea of what's sexy.

  6. I never let sex get stale.

    As soon as sex loses its erotic edge, the "in-the-know babes" have to take fast action. They'll view steamy videos, try a sex toy, leaf through triple-X magazines, act out a secret fantasy, make love in a different location, or test-drive a scorching new position - almost anything in the pursuit of greater pleasure with their partner. To keep the heat in your relationship on high, vow to sample something naughty yet new at least once a week: Surprise your guy by doing the deed in the shower, read erotic books, or duck away from a party into an empty bedroom for a mischievous quickie.

  7. I'm passionate 24-7.

    Sexuality is a round-the-clock activity, not an isolated act you do in 20-minute stretches. "Great lovers integrate desire into everything they do so they feel sensuous all day long," says Susan Crain Bakos, author of Sexational Secrets: Erotic Advice Your Mother Never Gave You.

  8. Sex is at the top of my to-do list.

    Girls who love sex never make those tired, same-old excuses - "I got my period"; "I had a stressful day"; "I feel sooo fat" - for why they can't hit the sheets. Instead, passion is number one on their to-do lists, and they know that erotic action is the best cure for cramps, stress, and the blues. "Once you put off pleasure, it becomes easier and easier to postpone, and pretty soon you're out of the habit," explains Bakos. "It can be hard to get back in the sexual swing of things once your sensual switches have been turned off."

    So even if you're not wildly turned on, you'll be doing yourself a favor by slipping into a sensuous state of mind.

Notice that almost everything on that list has to do with what's going on inside your head.

From here, you can either go to the table of contents for this "How to Have Good Sex" section and read whatever you are interested in, or you can find out the Secret to Good Sex?

next: Secret to Good Sex?

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). How to Have Good Sex Homepage, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/sex/psychology-of-sex/how-to-have-good-sex-homepage

Last Updated: April 8, 2016

An Ancient Tradition

How ancient traditions and rituals serve as pathways to connectedness, healing, celebration and growth.

The word had been spread among the people. Many of us could feel the energy stirring within ourselves, and when we happen to meet on the paths or in our common buildings, that energy could be felt to leap as a spirit from one person to another, commingling, uniting now into something greater and more beautiful than any part alone. With each conversation, each caress of eye contact, the feeling was shared; it's time that we met in ceremony.

As a community, we are collectively aware of our chosen lifestyle as reflecting the lifestyle of our ancestors. It is a village feeling, our own tribal ethos building here as we share our evening meal in our dining hall, as we share the joy and responsibility in caring for the children of the community, and even as we take leave of one from another, dispersing to our private concerns. We are a people of the earth, a people of the moon and of the stars, who know that by our wish we can see the power in our desire and intention create the world of our choice.

As twilight fell, the many stars and our smaller number of people came out together, and our slow and careful streaming through the fields and down the path to the river was mirrored in the streaming of the stars along the Milky Way, across the sky and down to the horizon. The fireflies in the river field were as beacons, flashing light in the darkness, leading to the wooded hillside where the ceremonial fire was visible, flickering its light between the shadows of tree and of human silhouette.

Our soft tone of voice and careful movements around the fire reflected our respect and reverence for the tradition we were living. As spiritual beings we are more than our physical forms, we are part of the whole of the universe. We are tree and flower, bird and fish. We are the flowing of river, and blowing of wind. We are the crackle of fire and the silence of darkness; and in this knowing, our actions and lifestyle begin to affirm our feeling of connectedness to the natural world.


continue story below

This ceremony is both a celebration of our place as the crown of creation, and a ritual observance of our comparative insignificance in the universe. At the same time, we recognize our community and our smaller gathering around the fire as being symbolic of the circle of life and of all of the cycles in the universe. We are the world; we are the universe.

Quietly, with clothing lain aside, our circle slowly files into the sweat lodge, each blessing our relations to all the families of life and of non-living forms. Within we converse in hushed voices until the stones from the fire are brought in through a special opening in the lodge. The red glowing stones, piled together in the center, faintly illuminate the faces of the people, each now sampling, then savoring the sweet aroma of sage sprinkled upon the stones, the incense serving as a cleansing agent, dispelling all negative and ill-seeking spirits. When the water is sprinkled upon the stones our spirits rise in the same manner as the steam, over and around us, building upon itself. Around the circle each person shares in ceremonial sincerity that which is most important to them in their life: our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, emotions.

More water, more heat and steam, greater passion and emotion, rising, swirling, expanding! Some of us crouch closer to the ground to escape the worst of the almost unbearable heat. Now, in the darkness one of us calls for spirit yells, beginning low and rising, louder and with greater force, each person gives voice to the purifying process of the steam heat upon our physical bodies, and of the spiritual cleansing within our minds and hearts. Wildly expressing the depth of our feeling and being we are as close as a people can be to the ancestral tribal heritage that this ceremony evokes. As the stones cool, so also does our energy. We emerge, again blessing all of our relations, some of us to lie upon the bare ground, feeling its coolness, others diving into the river, then together we reenter the sweat lodge.

Four sessions we experience in the sweat. Sharing first our prayers for ourselves, each other, our families, our fellow community members, and for all of the peoples of the Earth. During the second session, we share our prayers for all of the other animals with whom we share this planet. In the third session, we pray for the plants which channel energy from the sun, and the gases of the air and the minerals from the earth, many species of which we use to support our existence. Finally, in the fourth sweat, we share our blessings for the rocks and water that comprise our planet itself, and for all the celestial bodies of the universe. Suffering and sharing together in this ceremonial ritual we are one with our ancestors, with each other, and with the world around us.

Now with the rising sun shining through the trees, we walk in line along the path through the valley mist, up through the fields and to the awakening community; some to postpone sleep to engage in the morning activities of this culture we are creating. Combining elements of our modern world with aspects of the ancient traditions, we are living the life of our collective choice.

Afterword:

This sweat lodge ceremony took place the night of August 16, 1987, the eve of the Harmonic Convergence, by a small group of us at Twin Oaks Community. Our observance of this date was in recognition of its prophetic significance to the Mayan and Aztec calendar systems, which measure different cycles of time, both ending on that date. The Mayan Quetzalkoatl prophesied that a time of peace would follow, and either by coincidence or by fate, the Cold War ended soon after.

According to the Aztec calendar and its Sixth Sun Cycle, the Sun of Spiritual Consciousness, we are now in the midst of a 25 year transition period or "return movement," to end in the year 2012 AD. Various people suggest that the significant events of this date may be yet another expectation of the second advent of Jesus Christ, the dawning of a solar age, the establishment of a cosmic consciousness via a "mental re-polarization" among humanity, and the entrance of humanity into the galactic civilization. What ever happens, it will be another good time to meet in ceremony.

About the author:Allen Butcher is a prolific writer about intentional communities. He may be best known for his in-depth analyses, which have included some interesting visualizations for understanding Intentional Communities on several different dimensions. In the early '80s, Allen was a board member of the New Destiny Food Cooperative Federation and New Life Farm. Allen now lives in Denver, Colorado.

next:A BirthQuake Story

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). An Ancient Tradition, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/sageplace/an-ancient-tradition

Last Updated: July 18, 2014

Are You An Internet Addict?

New Study Finds Many Can't Leave Their Computers

Simply by finding this story you may be showing symptoms of what a new British report warns is a worldwide plague.

We've all heard the stories of people hunched over their computers late at night looking for nuggets of information filed in some faraway database but so easily accessible through the Internet.

The report says late-night hacking not only has people going off to work tired and bleary-eyed but also that the plague has spread to the office.

More than a thousand managers surveyed in the United States, Britain, Europe and the Far East indicate the cyberworld is producing a growing number of dataholics.

Half Surveyed Know Internet 'Addicts'

Half those questioned said that if information was a recognized drug, they knew an addict. More than three-quarters said they believed that acquiring information can be addictive.

"People are always a bit nervous they are missing something. You know, there's a bit of information just around the corner," said Paul Waddington, who helped to write the report. "Maybe there's something they haven't seen that they should have seen. And I think that creates this information craving,"

One anonymous addict says whole days at the office can disappear in the search for some supposedly vital bit of business intelligence.

"In some cases," he said, "the whole time up to lunch time is spent hunting through information, reading up on information, you know the magazines, the trade journals, sites on the Internet, e-mails and then in the afternoon you sort of get on with work."

Hooked Up, Then Pulled Plug

One company that might have known better ran into productivity problems when it hooked employees to the Net. Sequent Computer Systems manager Marcos Gonzalez-Flower said productivity dropped because employees spent so much time finding interesting but relatively useless information.

"People would come in and the first thing in the morning, the first thing they'd do is actually look up the share price, which was great...understanding where we are financially is brilliant," he said. "But they very quickly realized that if they spent all day looking at what was happening with the company and not actually doing anything to support it, it wouldn't help the company grow."

The report, which was commissioned by the Reuters news and information service, says one symptom of the problem is Internet addicts spend so much time gathering information they don't have the time to do anything with the facts they've found.

But that's enough information from this story. Who knows how much you've missed while you were reading it?

Source: ABC News



next:  Internet Addiction: Is it just this month's hand-wringer for worrywarts, or a genuine problem?
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Are You An Internet Addict?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/center-for-internet-addiction-recovery/are-you-an-internet-addict

Last Updated: October 6, 2015

Is My Masturbation Ruining My Marriage, Even Though We Have an Excellent Sex Life?

Stanton:

I know this is not a simple question. I really appreciate your time. But if you could just take a few moments and read the following.

I need help. I have a problem that is causing me grief. If there is any possible way, I want to do something about it.

addiction-articles-124-healthyplaceI want to stop "WONDERING" what it would be like to have sex with any women I find the least bit attractive. I seem to run into them everywhere. I just turned 48 years old and ever since I can remember, I have had this problem. When I was single, I would just go home and masturbate. Fanaticize about what it might be like. Have an orgasm. Then move on with my life—until the next wondering popped uninvited into my mind. Then the cycle would start all over again.

I am 10 years into my second marriage. My first one lasted 17 years. I am still doing this 'thing' and I can't seem to stop it. I finally discussed these urgings with my wife tonight.

Why I did is because we have been in marital turmoil for the past two weeks. You see, six months ago I finally went a step further and sent an e-mail and visited a woman friend of mine from 20 years ago. Out of the sky blue she called me on the phone. I Fanaticized about her a long time ago. I called her back and went over to her house. We didn't do anything. Once I got there I couldn't figure out why in the hell I was even there and that I really didn't want to be there. We talked for a little less than an hour about what she was doing, what I was doing, how are the kids... I spent most of the time trying to think about how to gracefully get the hell out of there...and did so.

Anyway, that was six months ago and we have had no contact since then. I came home one day a couple weeks ago and found my wife in shock. Somehow she had ran across the one and only e-mail on my computer from this woman. I forgot all about it. She didn't believe me. To her I had been unfaithful (even though there was no sex) and that our relationship was a lie and that she felt she could never trust me again—let alone ever have our relationship go back to the way it was.

Because we both seem to want to continue this relationship, we have been struggling to find out if and how this might be possible.

I feel my wondering problem is getting worse. If this relationship ended, I would just find another relationship to get into and then I would hurt another person. I am not a hurting person! I do not want to hurt anyone else. I want to stop having these wonderings!

I really want what my wife thought we had. A monogamous relationship. Whenever she thinks of sex, sees a sexual scene on TV or reads a sexual passage—she thinks only of me. I want that!!! I truly want to think only of her.

I really want the kind of relationship she thought we had where our sexual encounters were a natural extension of ourselves and the ultimate way to show our love for each other. I want that!!! I want her to be the ONLY person I share my sex with.

Me? I fantasize about having sex with other women and then masturbate—leaving her totally out of the picture. I am so ashamed of myself. She told me the other night that she knew I was masturbating. How she knew was because there where some nights where she felt she couldn't approach me about sex and that it seemed pretty apparent that I wasn't going to approach her. She wanted to find out why. She said she knew on which days I masturbated. She said she needed some kind of signal, so she planted a hair halfway in and hanging out of the Vaseline jar—that way she would know on which nights I might be acceptable to have sex with her. I feel so so ashamed of myself. I thought that my wonderings leading to masturbation were affecting only me. I now know that I was so wrong in thinking I was in it alone, that I was keeping it a secret and that it wasn't hurting anyone else.

I tried to explain to her that this had nothing to do with her. She could be the sex goddess of the world and I would still have these wonderings. I had them when I was single. I had them all during my first marriage. I took care of them through masturbation so that then I could get on with my life. In telling her all this I think I realized something—that in all of the wonderings, I never followed through with trying to have sex with any of the 'wonderesses', but that I felt I had to do something about the urge, so I choose to masturbate instead. Instead of having real sex with other women and become unfaithful.

Sex with my wife is the most wonderful and fulfilling I can ever imagine it would or could be. If it were any better, I don't think I could literally survive it. And depending on what's going on, we have this kind of passing-out pleasurable sex from two to four times a week.

What is wrong with me? Am I a sex addict? Am I over sexed?

Is there such a thing as feeding my demanding brain with sexual orgasm just like someone tries to feed his body urges for drugs once they are hooked on them?

Can you offer me anything? Please?

Larry


Dear Larry:

Let me review: you have a wonderful wife and a great sex relationship with her. You frequently have urges to have sex with other women, which you do not act on, but which you convert into sexual fantasies during which you masturbate. Your wife was aware of your masturbation, but got really upset because you saw an old girlfriend, although you swear the visit was innocent.

I don't think you have a problem, if all this is true. You have great sex with your wife, and you like to have additional sex. Your wife understands that, and still yearns for frequent sex with you. I think it is great that all of this has come out in the open — you were afraid to let your wife know that you masturbate, but discovered that she did know and accepted it.

You know, Larry, people have different desires for sexual activity. If you love your wife but want additional sex beyond what she enjoys, this is permissible. You are an adult, and you can masturbate (as can kids). It's okay.

At the same time, it is critical that you communicate what you say it is that you feel — you love your wife, want only to be with her, and absolutely refuse to endanger that primary love relationship with dalliances outside of marriage. (I think you might be in a minority of men in that regard).

Beyond this, if you want to use your sex drive as a bridge to enhance your intimacy with your wife, perhaps she is more open to new suggestions than you give her credit for. Perhaps it is your lack of imagination that is creating the problem. The woman you describe as your wife seems tolerant, sexually engaged, and adventurous (within the relationship).

For example, when you fantasize about a certain kind of woman, can you communicate this to your wife, and make that part of your lovemaking—for example, by verbally fantasizing during lovemaking that she is this woman. Perhaps she can dress the part, or the two of you can play out the interaction you fantasize about. A strong ability to fantasize and sexual energy are not negative things, as long as you don't damage yourself or your relationship with these things. And they are assets if you can incorporate them within the relationship.

Really use your imagination, and make your wife a part of it.

Best,
Stanton


Stanton:

Thank you very much for your quick response. My wife also thanks you.

The only thing I didn't read from you is my concern for my 'wondering' thoughts. I really wish I could some way just get them to stop happening. Is there a way? Should I be concerned?

Thanks again!!!

Larry


Dear Larry:

Convert them, as much as possible, to thoughts about things you will do with your wife. And, yes, many people have sexual fantasies quite frequently — remember that goody-two-shoes, Jimmy Carter, lusting in his heart? And I'm guessing that he didn't have as good a sex life with his wife as you do. Most people don't. A recent study in JAMA discovered a remarkably high percentage of women (43%) and men (31%) suffer from sexual dysfunction — meaning an inability to perform or enjoy sex. Your sex life places you among the fortunate few.

Best,
Stanton

Reference

E.O. Laumann, A. Paik, and R.C. Rosen, "Sexual dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and predictors," JAMA, 281:537-544, 1999.

next: James Frey's One True Thing
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Is My Masturbation Ruining My Marriage, Even Though We Have an Excellent Sex Life?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/is-my-masturbation-ruining-my-marriage-even-though-we-have-an-excellent-sex-life

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

Promoting Positive Drinking: Alcohol, Necessary Evil or Positive Good?

Stanton wrote a chapter analyzing different views on alcohol, whether as good or evil, and how these views impact drinking practices. In the U.S., public health authorities and educators continuously broadcast negative information about alcohol, while young people and others continue to drink excessively and dangerously. An alternate model is to encompass beverage alcohol in an overall positive and healthy lifestyle, in which alcohol is assigned a limited but constructive role. Positive drinking cultures also hold people responsible for their drinking behavior and are intolerant of disruptive drinking.

Palm eBook

In: S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.) (1999), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective, Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel, pp. 1-7
© Copyright 1999 Stanton Peele. All rights reserved.

addiction-articles-130-healthyplaceMorristown, NJ

Historically and internationally, cultural visions of alcohol and its effects vary in terms of how positive or negative they are and the likely consequences that they attach to alcohol consumption. The dominant contemporary vision of alcohol in the United States is that alcohol (a) is primarily negative and has exclusively hazardous consequences, (b) leads frequently to uncontrollable behavior, and (c) is something that young people should be warned against. The consequences of this vision are that when children do drink (which teenagers regularly do), they know of no alternative but excessive, intense consumption patterns, leading them frequently to drink to intoxication. This chapter explores alternative models of drinking and channels for conveying them which emphasize healthy versus unhealthy consumption patterns as well as the individual's responsibility to manage his or her drinking. The ultimate goal is for people to see alcohol as an accompaniment to an overall healthy and pleasurable lifestyle, an image they enact as moderate, sensible drinking patterns.

Models of Alcohol's Effects

Selden Bacon, a founder and long-time director of the Yale (then Rutgers) Center of Alcohol Studies, remarked on the strange public health approach to alcohol taken in the United States and elsewhere in the Western world:

Current organized knowledge about alcohol use can be likened to... knowledge about automobiles and their use if the latter were limited to facts and theories about accidents and crashes.... [What is missing are] the positive functions and positive attitudes about alcohol uses in our as well as in other societies.... If educating youth about drinking starts from the assumed basis that such drinking is bad... full of risk for life and property, at best considered as an escape, clearly useless per se, and/or frequently the precursor of disease, and the subject matter is taught by nondrinkers and antidrinkers, this is a particular indoctrination. Further, if 75-80% of the surrounding peers and elders are or are going to become drinkers, there [is]... an inconsistency between the message and the reality. (Bacon, 1984, pp. 22-24)

When Bacon wrote these words, the coronary and mortality benefits of alcohol were only beginning to be established, while the psychological and social benefits of drinking had not been systematically assessed. His wry observations seem doubly relevant today, now that the life-prolonging effects of alcohol are on a firm footing (Doll, 1997; Klatsky, 1999) and the conference on which this volume is based has begun the discussion of the ways in which alcohol enhances quality of life (see also Baum-Baicker, 1985; Brodsky & Peele, 1999; Peele & Brodsky, 1998). In other words, if science indicates that alcohol conveys significant life advantages, why does alcohol policy act as though alcohol were evil?

Table 26.1 Views of alcohol in the United States.
  Alcohol is bad Alcohol is good Alcohol is bad/good An integrated approach
Model of alcohol use Temperance/ proscriptive Nontemperance/ permissive Ambivalent/ prescriptive Nontemperance/ prescriptive
Key ingredient Abstinence; formal controls Excessive drinking Informally regulated drinking Moderation; self-regulation
Consequence Nonoptimal drinking/ health Nonoptimal drinking/ health Mixed or oscillating drinking Healthy drinking

This chapter examines different views of alcohol as being either evil or good (Table 26.1). Two different typologies of social attitudes towards alcohol are employed. One is the distinction between temperance and nontemperance Western societies. In the former, major efforts have been mounted to ban alcoholic beverages (Levine, 1992). Less alcohol is consumed in temperance societies, with more outward signs of problematic use. In nontemperance societies, by contrast, alcohol is used almost universally, drinking is socially integrated, and few behavioral and other alcohol-related problems are noted (Peele, 1997).

An alternate typology has been used by sociologists to characterize norms and attitudes towards alcohol in subgroups within the larger society. Akers (1992) lists four such types of groups: (a) groups with proscriptive norms against the use of alcohol; (b) prescriptive groups that accept and welcome drinking but establish clear norms for its consumption; (c) groups with ambivalent norms that invite drinking but also fear and resent it; and (d) groups with permissive norms that not only tolerate and invite drinking but do not set limits on consumption or on behavior while drinking.

This chapter contrasts these different views of alcohol and the ways of approaching alcohol education and policy suggested by each. It additionally juxtaposes the potential consequences of each view and its educational approach.


Visions of Alcohol

Alcohol is Bad

The idea of alcohol as evil took root 150 to 200 years ago (Lender & Martin, 1987; Levine, 1978). Although this idea has varied in its intensity since then, antialcohol feeling has resurfaced and consumption has declined since the late 1970s in much of the Western world, led by the United States (Heath, 1989). The idea that alcohol is bad takes a number of forms. Of course, in the 19th and 20th centuries, the temperance movement held that alcohol is a negative force that must be eliminated from society because (in its view) of the following characteristics of alcohol:

  • Alcohol is an addictive substance whose use inevitably leads to increased, compulsive, and uncontrollable use.
  • Alcoholism underlies most, indeed practically all, modern social problems (unemployment, wife and child abuse, emotional disorders, prostitution, and so on).
  • Alcohol conveys no discernible social benefits.

Alcoholism as a Disease: The Inbred Alcoholic. The essential attributes of alcoholism as a disease were part of the temperance movement's view of alcohol. These were consolidated and reintegrated into the modern disease theory of alcoholism both through the development of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), beginning in 1935, and in a modern medical approach, beginning in the 1970s and espoused currently by the directorship of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). AA popularized the idea that a small subgroup of individuals has a deeply ingrained form of alcoholism that prevents its members from drinking moderately. In the modern medical view, this has taken the form of the idea of a heavy genetic loading for alcoholism.

AA actually wished to coexist with alcohol in the post-prohibition era,1 because the signs were inescapable that the nation would no longer support national prohibition. If only certain individuals are stricken with alcoholism, then only they have to fear the evils that lurk in the beverage. For this limited group, however, the evils of alcohol are unlimited. They progressively lead the alcoholic (the drunkard or inebriate in temperance terms) to a total collapse of ordinary values and life structure and the ultimate depredations of death, the insane asylum, or prison.

A standard temperance view of alcohol was provided in the set of prints drawn by George Cruikshank, entitled The Bottle, included in Timothy Shay Arthur's 1848 Temperance Tales (see Lender & Martin, 1987). The Bottle comprised eight prints. After first sampling alcohol, the protagonist descends rapidly into a drunkard's hell. In short order he loses his job, the family is evicted and must beg on the streets, and so on. In the seventh print, the man kills his wife while he is drunk, leading to his commitment to an asylum in the last print. This sense of the imminent, horrible danger and death in alcohol is an integral part of the modern medical disease viewpoint as well. G. Douglas Talbott, president of the American Society of Addiction Medicine, wrote, "The ultimate consequences for a drinking alcoholic are these three: he or she will end up in jail, in a hospital, or in a graveyard" (Wholey, 1984, p. 19).

Alcohol Dependence and the Public Health Model. The modern medical viewpoint, despite its allegiance to genetic causality of alcoholism, is less committed than AA to the idea that alcoholism is in-born. For example, an NIAAA general population study (Grant & Dawson, 1998) assessed the risk of developing alcoholism to be much higher for youthful drinkers (a risk that was multiplied if alcoholism was present in the family). The model underlying this view of alcoholism's development is alcohol dependence, which holds that individuals drinking at a high rate for a substantial period develop a psychological and physiological reliance on alcohol (Peele, 1987). (It should be noted that the Grant and Dawson study (a) did not distinguish between those who first drank at home and those who drank with peers outside the home and (b) asked about first drinking "not counting small tastes or sips of alcohol" (p. 105), which more likely indicates first drinking other than within the family or at home.)

In addition to the disease and dependence views of alcohol's negative action, the modern public health view of alcohol is a drinking-problems model, which holds that only a minority of alcohol problems (violence, accidents, disease) are associated with alcoholic or dependent drinkers (see Stockwell & Single, 1999). Rather, it holds, drinking problems are spread across the population and can appear either because of acute intoxication even in occasional drinkers, cumulative effects from lower levels of nondependent drinking, or heavy drinking by a relatively small percentage of problem drinkers. In any case, according to the most popular public health viewpoint, alcohol problems are multiplied by higher levels of drinking society-wide (Edwards et al., 1994). The public health model sees not only alcohol dependence but all alcohol consumption as inherently problematic, in that greater consumption leads to greater social problems. The role of public health advocates in this view is to diminish alcohol consumption through whatever means possible.

Alcohol is Good

The view of alcohol as beneficent is ancient, as old at least as the idea that alcohol produces harm. The Old Testament describes alcoholic excess, but it also values alcohol. Both the Hebrew and Christian religions include wine in their sacraments—Hebrew prayer bestows a blessing on wine. Even earlier, the Greeks considered wine a boon and worshipped a god of wine, Dionysius (the same god who stood for pleasure and revelry). From the ancients to the present, many have valued wine and other beverage alcohol for either their ritualistic benefits or their celebratory and even licentious aspects. The value of alcohol certainly was appreciated in colonial America, which drank freely and gladly, and where minister Increase Mather termed alcohol the "good creature of God" (Lender & Martin, 1987, p. 1).


Before Prohibition in the United States and from the 1940s through the 1960s, drinking alcohol was accepted and valued as was perhaps even excessive drinking. Musto (1996) has detailed cycles of attitudes towards alcohol in the United States, from the libertarian to the prohibitionistic. We can see the view of drinking and even alcohol intoxication as pleasurable in American film (Room, 1989), including also the work of such mainstream and morally upright artists as Walt Disney, who presented an entertaining and drunken Bacchus in his 1940 animated film, Fantasia. Television dramas in the 1960s casually depicted drinking by doctors, parents, and most adults. In the United States, one view of alcohol—the permissive—is associated with high consumption and few restraints on drinking (Akers, 1992; Orcutt, 1991).

Most drinkers throughout the Western world view alcohol as a positive experience. Respondents in surveys in the United States, Canada, and Sweden predominantly mention positive sensations and experiences in association with drinking—such as relaxation and sociability—with little mention of harm (Pernanen, 1991). Cahalan (1970) found that the most common result of drinking reported by current drinkers in the United States was that they "felt happy and cheerful" (50% of male and 47% of female nonproblem drinkers). Roizen (1983) reported national survey data in the United States in which 43% of adult male drinkers always or usually felt "friendly" (the most common effect) when they drank, compared with 8% who felt "aggressive" or 2% who felt "sad".

Alcohol May Be Good or Bad

Of course, many of those sources for the goodness of alcohol also drew important distinctions among styles of alcohol use. Increase Mather's full view of alcohol was outlined in his 1673 tract Wo to Drunkards: "The wine is from God, but the Drunkard is from the Devil." Benjamin Rush, the colonial physician who first formulated a disease view of alcoholism, recommended abstinence only from spirits, and not wine or cider, as did the early temperance movement (Lender & Martin, 1987). It was only in the middle of the 19th century that teetotaling became the goal of temperance, a goal that was adopted by AA in the next century.

Some cultures and groups instead accept and encourage drinking, although they disapprove of drunkenness and antisocial behavior while drinking. Jews as an ethnic group typify this "prescriptive" approach to drinking, which allows frequent imbibing but strictly regulates the style of drinking and comportment when drinking, a style that leads overwhelmingly to moderate drinking with a minimal number of problems (Akers, 1992; Glassner, 1991). Modern epidemiologic research on alcohol (Camargo, 1999; Klatsky, 1999) embodies this view of alcohol's double-edged nature with the U- or J-shaped curve, in which mild to moderate drinkers display reduced coronary artery disease and mortality rates, but abstainers and heavier drinkers show depreciated health outcomes.

A less successful view of the "dual" nature of alcohol consumption is embodied by ambivalent groups (Akers, 1992), which both welcome alcohol's intoxicating effects and disapprove (or feel guilty about) excessive drinking and its consequences.

Alcohol and the Integrated Lifestyle

A view consistent with that in which alcohol may be used in either a positive or a negative fashion is one that sees healthful drinking not so much as the cause of either good and bad medical or psychosocial outcomes but as a part of an overall healthful approach to life. One version of this idea is embedded in the so-called Mediterranean diet, which emphasizes a balanced diet lower in animal protein than the typical American diet, and in which regular, moderate alcohol drinking is one central element. In line with this integrated approach, crosscultural epidemiologic research has shown that diet and alcohol contribute independently to coronary artery disease benefits in Mediterranean countries (Criqui & Ringle, 1994). Indeed, one can imagine other characteristics of Mediterranean cultures that lead to reduced levels of coronary artery disease—such as more walking, greater community supports, and less stressful lifestyles than in the United States and other temperance, generally Protestant, cultures.

Grossarth-Maticek (1995) has presented an even more radical version of this integrated approach, in which self-regulation is the fundamental individual value or outlook, and drinking moderately or healthily is secondary to this larger orientation:

"Troubled drinkers," i.e. people who both suffer from permanent stress and also impair their own self-regulation by drinking, only need a small daily dose to shorten their lives considerably. On the other hand, people who can regulate themselves well, and whose self-regulation is improved by alcohol consumption, even by a high dose, do not manifest a shorter life span or a higher frequency of chronic illnesses.

Drinking Messages and Their Consequences

Never Drink

The proscriptive approach to alcohol, characteristic for example of Moslem and Mormon societies, formally rules out all alcohol use. Within the United States, proscriptive groups include conservative Protestant sects and, often corresponding to such religious groupings, dry political regions. If those in such groups drink, they are at high risk for drinking excessively, because there are no norms to prescribe moderate consumption. This same phenomenon is seen in national drinking surveys, in which groups with high abstinence rates also display higher-than-average problem-drinking rates, at least among those who are exposed to alcohol (Cahalan & Room, 1974; Hilton, 1987, 1988).


Control Drinking

Temperance cultures (i.e., Scandinavian and English-speaking nations) foster the most active alcohol-control policies. Historically, these have taken the form of prohibition campaigns. In contemporary society, these nations enforce strict parameters for drinking, including regulation of the time and place of consumption, age restrictions for drinking, taxation policies, and so on. Nontemperance cultures show less concern in all these areas and yet report fewer behavioral drinking problems (Levine, 1992; Peele, 1997). For example, in Portugal, Spain, Belgium, and other countries, 16-year-olds (and those even younger) can drink alcohol freely in public establishments. These countries have almost no AA presence; Portugal, which had the highest per capita alcohol consumption in 1990, had 0.6 AA groups per million population compared with almost 800 AA groups per million population in Iceland, the country that consumed the least alcohol per capita in Europe. The idea of the need to control drinking externally or formally thus coincides with drinking problems in a paradoxically mutually reinforcing relationship.

At the same time, efforts to control or ameliorate drinking and drinking problems sometimes have untoward effects. In regard to treatment, Room (1988, p. 43) notes,

[We are in the midst] of a huge expansion in the treatment of alcohol-related problems in the United States [and industrialized nations worldwide]... In comparing Scotland and United States, on the one hand, with developing countries like Mexico and Zambia, on the other hand, in the World Health Organization Community Response Study, we were struck with how much more responsibility Mexicans and Zambians gave to family and friends in dealing with alcohol problems, and how ready Scots and Americans were to cede responsibility for these human problems to official agencies or to professionals. Studying the period since 1950 in seven industrialized nations.... [when] alcohol problem rates generally grew, we were struck by the concomitant growth of treatment provision in all of these countries. The provision of treatment, we felt, became a societal alibi for the dismantling of long-standing structures of control of drinking behavior, both formal and informal.

Room noted that, in the period from the 1950s through the 1970s, alcohol controls were relaxed and alcohol problems grew as consumption increased. This is the perceived relationship underlying the public policy approach of limiting consumption of alcohol. However, since the 1970s, alcohol controls in most countries (along with treatment) have increased and consumption has declined, but individual drinking problems have risen markedly (at least in the United States), particularly among men (Table 26.2). Around the point at which per capita consumption began to decline, between 1967 and 1984, NIAAA-funded national drinking surveys reported a doubling in self-reported alcohol-dependence symptoms without a concomitant increase in consumption among drinkers (Hilton & Clark, 1991).

Table 26.2 Dependence-drinking problems among U.S. drinkers.
  Respondents reporting at least one dependence symptom over prior year (%)
Year Men Women
1967 8 5
1984 19 8
Note. Data from "Changes in American drinking patterns and problems, 1967-1984," by M. E. Hilton and W. B. Clark, 1991, in D. J. Pittman and H. R. White (Eds.), Society, culture, and drinking patterns reexamined (pp. 157-172), New Brunswick, NJ: Center of Alcohol Studies.

Drink for Enjoyment

Most people drink in line with the standards of their social environments. The definition of enjoyable drinking varies according to the group of which the drinker is a part. Clearly, some societies have a different sense of the enjoyment of alcohol relative to its dangers. One definition of nontemperance cultures is that they conceive of alcohol as a positive pleasure, or as a substance whose use is valued in itself. Bales (1946), Jellinek (1960), and others have distinguished the very different conceptions of alcohol that characterize temperance and nontemperance cultures such as, respectively, the Irish and the Italian: In the former, alcohol connotes imminent doom and danger and at the same time freedom and license; in the latter alcohol is not conceived as creating social or personal problems. In Irish culture, alcohol is separated from the family and is used sporadically in special circumstances. In the Italian, drinking is conceived as a commonplace, but joyous, social opportunity.

Societies characterized by the permissive social style of drinking also might be seen to conceive of drinking in a predominantly enjoyable light. However, in this environment, excessive drinking, intoxication, and acting out are tolerated and are in fact seen as a part of the enjoyment of alcohol. This is different from the prescriptive society, which values and appreciates drinking but which limits the amount and style of consumption. The latter is consistent with nontemperance cultures (Heath, 1999). Just as some individuals shift from high consumption to abstinence and some groups have both high abstinence and high excessive-drinking rates, permissive cultures can become aware of the dangers of alcohol and shift as a society into ones that impose strict alcohol controls (Musto, 1996; Room, 1989).

Drink for Health

The idea that alcohol is healthy is also ancient. Drinking throughout the ages has been thought to enhance appetite and digestion, assist in lactation, reduce pain, create relaxation and bring rest, and actually attack some diseases. Even in temperance societies, people may regard a drink of alcohol as healthful. The health benefits of moderate alcohol consumption (as opposed to both abstinence and heavy drinking) were first presented in a modern medical light in 1926 by Raymond Pearl (Klatsky, 1999). Since the 1980s, and with greater certainty in the 1990s, prospective epidemiologic studies have found that moderate drinkers have a lower incidence of heart disease and live longer than abstainers (see Camargo, 1999; Klatsky, 1999).


The United States typifies a modern society with a highly developed and educated consumer class characterized by an intense health consciousness. Bromides, vitamins, and foods are sold and consumed widely on the basis of their supposed healthfulness. There are few cases, if any, in which the healthfulness of such folk prescriptions is as well established as in the case of alcohol. Indeed, the range and solidity of the findings of medical benefits of alcohol rival and exceed the empirical basis for such claims for many pharmaceutical substances. Thus, a basis has been built for drinking as a part of a regulated health program.

Yet, residual attitudes in the United States—a temperance society—conflict with a recognition and utilization of alcohol's health benefits (Peele, 1993). This environment creates conflicting pressures: Health consciousness presses towards consideration of the healthfulness and life-prolonging effects of drinking, but traditional and medical antialcohol views work against presenting positive messages about drinking. Bradley, Donovan, and Larson (1993) describe this failure of medical professionals, out of either fear or ignorance, to incorporate recommendations for optimal drinking levels in interactions with patients. This omission both denies information about life-saving benefits of alcohol to patients who might benefit and fails to take advantage of a large body of research that shows that "brief interventions," in which health professionals recommend reduced drinking, are highly cost-effective tools for combating alcohol abuse (Miller et al., 1995).

Who Gives Drinking Messages and What Do They Say?

Government or Public Health

The view of alcohol presented by government, at least in the United States, is almost entirely negative. Public announcements about alcohol are always of its dangers, never of its benefits. The public health position on alcohol in North America and Europe (WHO, 1993) is likewise strictly negative. Government and public health bodies have decided that it is too risky to inform people at large of the relative risks, including the benefits, of drinking because this may lead them to greater excesses of drinking or serve as an excuse for those already drinking excessively. Although Luik (1999) views the government's discouragement of pleasurable activities (such as drinking), which he accepts as being unhealthy, as paternalistic and unnecessary, in fact, in the case of alcohol, such discouragement is counterproductive even as far as health goes. As Grossarth-Maticek and his colleagues have shown (Grossarth-Maticek & Eysenck, 1995; Grossarth-Maticek, Eysenck, & Boyle, 1995), self-regulating consumers who feel they can control their own outcomes are healthiest.

Industry Advertising

Nongovernmentally supported, non-public health advertising, that is, commercial advertising by alcohol manufacturers, frequently advises drinkers to drink responsibly. The message is reasonable enough but falls far short of encouraging a positive outlook towards alcohol as part of an overall healthful lifestyle. The industry's reticence in this area is caused by a combination of several factors. Much of the industry fears making health claims for its products, both because of the potential for incurring governmental wrath and also because such claims could expose them to legal liability. Thus, industry advertising does not suggest positive drinking images so much as it seeks to avoid responsibility for suggesting or supporting negative drinking styles.

Schools

The absence of a balanced view of alcohol is as noteworthy in educational settings as in public health messages. Elementary and secondary schools simply fear the disapprobation and liability risks of anything that might be taken to encourage drinking, particularly because their charges are not yet of the legal drinking age in the United States (compare this with private schools in France, which serve their students wine with meals). What may be even more puzzling is the absence of positive drinking messages and opportunities on American college campuses, where drinking is nonetheless widespread. Without a positive model of collegiate drinking to offer, nothing appears to counterbalance the concentrated and sometimes compulsive nature (termed "bingeing," see Wechsler, Davenport, Dowdall, Moeykens, & Castillo, 1994) of this youthful imbibing.

Family, Adults, or Peers

Because contemporaneous social groups provide the greatest pressures and supports for drinking behavior, families, other present adults, and peers are the most critical determinants of styles of drinking (Cahalan & Room, 1974). These different social groups tend to affect individuals, particularly young individuals, differently (Zhang, Welte, & Wieczorek, 1997). Peer drinking, among the young in particular, connotes illicit and excessive consumption. Indeed, one reason to allow young people to drink legally is that they then are more likely to drink with adults—related or otherwise—who as a rule tend to drink more moderately. Most bars, restaurants, and other social drinking establishments encourage moderate drinking, and thus such establishments and their patrons can serve as socializing forces for moderation.

Of course, social, ethnic, and other background factors influence whether positive modeling of drinking will occur in these groups. For example, young people with parents who abuse alcohol would do best to learn to drink outside the family. And this is the central problem with instances in which the family provides the primary model for drinking behavior. If the family is unable to set an example for moderate drinking, then individuals whose families either abstain or drink excessively are left without adequate models after which to fashion their own drinking patterns. This is not an automatic disqualification for becoming a moderate drinker, however; most offspring of either abstinent or heavy-drinking parents gravitate towards community norms of social drinking (Harburg, DiFranceisco, Webster, Gleiberman, & Schork, 1990).

Not only do parents sometimes lack social-drinking skills, those who possess them are often under attack from other social institutions in the United States. For example, totally negative alcohol education programs in schools liken alcohol to illicit drugs, so that children are confounded to see their parents openly practicing what they are told is a dangerous or negative behavior.


What Should Young People Learn About Alcohol and Positive Drinking Habits?

Thus, there are substantial deficiencies in the available options for teaching, modeling, and socializing positive drinking habits-exactly the ones Bacon identified 15 years ago. Current models leave a substantial gap in what children and others learn about alcohol, as shown by the 1997 Monitoring the Future data (Survey Research Centers, 1998a, 1998b) for highschool seniors (see Table 26.3).

Table 26.3 1997 Monitoring the Future high-school senior data.
Survey findings Student response, %
Drinking behaviors  
Drank in past year 75
Been drunk in past year 53
Drinking attitudes (disapprove of)  
Have 5+ drinks 1 or 2 times/weekend 65
Have 1 or 2 drinks nearly every day 70
Note. Data from The Monitoring the Future Study: Table 4 [On-line], by Survey Research Center, Institute for Social Research, 1998, available: http://www.isr.umich.edu/src/mtf/mtf97t4.html; The Monitoring the Future Study: Table 10 [On-line], by Survey Research Center, Institute for Social Research, 1998, available: http://www.isr.umich.edu/src/mtf/mtf97tlO.html

These data indicate that, although three quarters of high school seniors in the U.S. have drunk alcohol over the year, and more than half have been drunk, 7 in 10 disapprove of adults drinking regular, moderate amounts of alcohol (more than disapprove of heavy weekend drinking). In other words, what American students learn about alcohol leads them to disapprove of a healthful style of drinking, but at the same time they themselves drink in an unhealthy fashion.

Conclusion

In place of messages that lead to a dysfunctional combination of behavior and attitudes, a model of sensible drinking should be presented—drinking regularly but moderately, drinking integrated with other healthy practices, and drinking motivated, accompanied by, and leading to further positive feelings. Harburg, Gleiberman, DiFranceisco, and Peele (1994) have presented such a model, which they call "sensible drinking." In this view, the following set of prescriptive and pleasurable practices and recommendations should be communicated to young people and others:

  1. Alcohol is a legal beverage widely available in most societies throughout the world.
  2. Alcohol may be misused with serious negative consequences.
  3. Alcohol is more often used in a mild and socially positive fashion.
  4. Alcohol used in this fashion conveys significant benefits, including health, quality-of- life, and psychological and social benefits.
  5. It is critical for the individual to develop skills to manage alcohol consumption.
  6. Some groups use alcohol almost exclusively in a positive fashion, and this style of drinking should be valued and emulated.
  7. Positive drinking involves regular moderate consumption, often including other people of both genders and all ages and usually entailing activities in addition to alcohol consumption, where the overall environment is pleasant—either relaxing or socially stimulating.
  8. Alcohol, like other healthful activities, both takes its form and produces the most benefit within an overall positive life structure and social environment, including group supports, other healthful habits, and a purposeful and engaged lifestyle.

If we fear communicating such messages, then we both lose an opportunity for a significantly beneficial life involvement and actually increase the danger of problematic drinking.

Note

  1. Prohibition was repealed in the United States in 1933.

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Promoting Positive Drinking: Alcohol, Necessary Evil or Positive Good?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/promoting-positive-drinking-alcohol-necessary-evil-or-positive-good

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

How Casual Drug Use Leads to Addiction

No one ever starts out using drugs intending to become a drug addict. Overtime, use of addictive drugs changes the brain and leads to compulsive drug use.

It is an all-too-common scenario: A person experiments with an addictive drug like cocaine. Perhaps he intends to try it just once, for "the experience" of it. It turns out, though, that he enjoys the drug's euphoric effect so much that in ensuing weeks and months he uses it again -- and again. But in due time, he decides he really should quit. He knows that despite the incomparable short-term high he gets from using cocaine, the long-term consequences of its use are perilous. So he vows to stop using it.

His brain, however, has a different agenda. It now demands cocaine. While his rational mind knows full well that he shouldn't use it again, his brain overrides such warnings. Unbeknown to him, repeated use of cocaine has brought about dramatic changes in both the structure and function of his brain. In fact, if he'd known the danger signs for which to be on the lookout, he would have realized that the euphoric effect derived from cocaine use is itself a sure sign that the drug is inducing a change in the brain -- just as he would have known that as time passes, and the drug is used with increasing regularity, this change becomes more pronounced, and indelible, until finally his brain has become addicted to the drug.

And so, despite his heartfelt vow never again to use cocaine, he continues using it. Again and again.

His drug use is now beyond his control. It is compulsive. He is addicted.

While this turn of events is a shock to the drug user, it is no surprise at all to researchers who study the effects of addictive drugs. To them, it is a predictable outcome.

To be sure, no one ever starts out using drugs intending to become a drug addict. All drug users are just trying it, once or a few times. Every drug user starts out as an occasional user, and that initial use is a voluntary and controllable decision. But as time passes and drug use continues, a person goes from being a voluntary to a compulsive drug user. This change occurs because over time, use of addictive drugs changes the brain -- at times in big dramatic toxic ways, at others in more subtle ways, but always in destructive ways that can result in compulsive and even uncontrollable drug use.

How the Brain Reacts to Drug Abuse

No one ever starts out using drugs intending to become a drug addict. Overtime, use of addictive drugs changes the brain and leads to compulsive drug use.The fact is, drug addiction is a brain disease. While every type of drug of abuse has its own individual "trigger" for affecting or transforming the brain, many of the results of the transformation are strikingly similar regardless of the addictive drug that is used -- and of course in each instance the result is compulsive use. The brain changes range from fundamental and long-lasting changes in the biochemical makeup of the brain, to mood changes, to changes in memory processes and motor skills. And these changes have a tremendous impact on all aspects of a person's behavior. In fact, in addiction the drug becomes the single most powerful motivator in the life of the drug user. He will do virtually anything for the drug.

This unexpected consequence of drug use is what I have come to call the oops phenomenon. Why oops? Because the harmful outcome is in no way intentional. Just as no one starts out to have lung cancer when they smoke, or no one starts out to have clogged arteries when they eat fried foods which in turn usually cause heart attacks, no one starts out to become a drug addict when they use drugs. But in each case, though no one meant to behave in a way that would lead to tragic health consequences, that is what happened just the same, because of the inexorable, and undetected, destructive biochemical processes at work.

While we haven't yet pinpointed precisely all the triggers for the changes in the brain's structure and function that culminate in the "oops" phenomenon, a vast body of hard evidence shows that it is virtually inevitable that prolonged drug use will lead to addiction. From this we can soundly conclude that drug addiction is indeed a brain disease.

I realize that this flies in the face of the notion that drug addiction boils down to a serious character flaw -- that those addicted to drugs are just too weak-willed to quit drug use on their own. But the moral weakness notion itself flies in the face of all scientific evidence, and so it should be discarded.

It should be stressed, however, that to assert that drug addiction is a brain disease is by no means the same thing as saying that those addicted to drugs are not accountable for their actions, or that they are just unwitting, hapless victims of the harmful effects that use of addictive drugs has on their brains, and in every facet of their lives.

Just as their behavior at the outset was pivotal in putting them on a collision course with compulsive drug use, their behavior after becoming addicted is just as critical if they are to be effectively treated and to recover.

At minimum, they have to adhere to their drug treatment regimen. But this can pose an enormous challenge. The changes in their brain that turned them into compulsive users make it a daunting enough task to control their actions and complete treatment. Making it even more difficult is the fact that their craving becomes more heightened and irresistible whenever they are exposed to any situation that triggers a memory of the euphoric experience of drug use. Little wonder, then, that most compulsive drug users can't quit on their own, even if they want to (for instance, at most only 7 percent of those who try in any one year to quit smoking cigarettes on their own actually succeed). This is why it is essential that they enter a drug treatment program, even if they don't want to at the outset.

Understanding Drug Addiction

Clearly, a host of biological and behavioral factors conspires to trigger the oops phenomenon in drug addiction. So the widely held sentiment that drug addiction has to be explained from either the standpoint of biology or the standpoint of behavior, and never the twain shall meet, is terribly flawed. Biological and behavioral explanations of drug abuse must be given equal weight and integrated with each other if we are to gain an in-depth understanding of the root causes of drug addiction and then develop more effective treatments. Modern science has shown us that we reduce one explanation to the other -- the behavioral to the biological, or vice versa - at our own peril. We have to recognize that brain disease stemming from drug use cannot and should not be artificially isolated from its behavioral components, as well as its larger social components. They all are critical pieces of the puzzle that interact with and impact on one another at every turn.

A wealth of scientific evidence, by the way, makes it clear that rarely if ever are any forms of brain disease only biological in nature. To the contrary, such brain diseases as stroke, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, schizophrenia, and clinical depression all have their behavioral and social dimensions. What is unique about the type of brain disease that results from drug abuse is that it starts out as voluntary behavior. But once continued use of an addictive drug brings about structural and functional changes in the brain that cause compulsive use, the disease-ravaged brain of a drug user closely resembles that of people with other kinds of brain diseases.

It's also important to bear in mind that we now see addiction as a chronic, virtually life-long illness for many people. And relapse is a common phenomenon in all forms of chronic illness -- from asthma and diabetes, to hypertension and addiction. The goals of successive treatments, as with other chronic illnesses, are to manage the illness and increase the intervals between relapses, until there are no more.

About the author: Dr. Leshner is Director, National Institute of Drug Abuse, National Institutes of Health

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). How Casual Drug Use Leads to Addiction, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/how-casual-drug-use-leads-to-addiction

Last Updated: June 28, 2016