My Story of Panic
Hello and welcome to my website! My name is Christine Evans I live in Bathurst, Australia, I'm 43 years old, and was diagnosed as having Panic Disorder in the year of 85'.
I'm married to a wonderful man and I have 3 wonderful children, who all bring joy and meaning in my life. I believe my disorder to be genetic in nature, as I also have other family members with the same affliction.
I was young and in the prime of my life, it was 1985 and life was about going out and having fun. But my life was about to change!
My friends had called me to tell me they were going out night clubbing, I quickly got ready to go with them. We started the evening at a nightclub not to far from my home, and were enjoying a few drinks when BANG something hit me! What the hell is going on?? My ears are ringing, and I feel like I'm going to pass out! Oh my God...my heart! I think I'm having a heart attack...I have to get OUT of here!!
I left my friends and headed for home...I don't remember how I got there. I went straight to bed, but could not sleep. The room was spinning and I thought I was going to throw up. Ohhh Please God let me get through this night!
The next morning I woke up with the ringing still in my ears. Ohhh no! I definitely have some awful condition! I woke my sister early that morning (I was living with her and her husband). "You need to take me to the Doctors, something is terribly wrong with me!" We arrived at the Doctors and he examined me, he said I was suffering from tinnitus and it should pass in 24 hrs. With that he told me to go home and relax. How could I "relax" when I KNEW I was dying!
Weeks past and nothing changed and I was now a virtual prisoner in my own home, just sitting there in a state of total panic and waiting to die!
My family decided it was best for me to start seeing psychiatrist, I agreed to go but I knew he could not help me. All he did was prescribe drugs each week...drugs that I would NEVER take. Why would I want to feel more dizzy and sick? I knew I didn't need these drugs...I knew there was some mysterious, deathly illness that the doctors had overlooked.
I went on like this for 3 years, I don't know how I got better back then...but it did slowly start to diminish and I started to live an almost "normal" life again.
Just over 2 years ago the panic, fear and anxiety returned. I have done much research and now know I do not need to suffer, and with the combination of the techniques I describe on this site, and with the help of medication (which I'm no longer terrified to take) I'm no longer living in a world of terror. I have found an inner peace, and I thank God for allowing me to experience these "bad" times, because without them I probably would not have grown into the kind and caring person I am today. We really do learn the most about ourselves in our "down times".
I believe everything happens for a reason, and I'm now becoming a stronger, more loving, and spiritual person. I have started a journey to find out my purpose and meaning in life, and on this journey I'm discovering the true meaning to "Inner Peace". These are the symptoms that I'm striving to achieve:
My Symptoms Of Inner Peace
- Tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fear based on past experience.
- Loss of interest in judging other people.
- An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
- Loss of interest in judging self.
- Loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
- Loss of interest in conflict.
- Loss of ability to worry (a very serious symptom).
- Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
- Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature.
- Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes and heart.
- Increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
- Increased susceptibility to love extended from others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
- Wouldn't it be nice to achieve all of those qualities?
Common Questions And Answers
Q -You mentioned this runs in your family. Who else has it?
A -My Aunt, My Mother and My Daughter.
Q -Were you working/in school when the panic started?
A -I had a child at the age of 17...so I was a stay at home Mum.
Q -What are your interests?
A -I am a nail artist and I enjoy creating unusual nail art designs. I like reading (books about self development), meditating, listening to music.
Q -When you found out you had a panic disorder, were your friends understanding about it?
A -No..and I found it hard to explain...of course I never admitted having Panic Disorder...as I myself did not believe it.
Q -In your story, you said you used a combination of techniques to help you deal with the anxiety. I know they're on your website, but can you mention which ones were most helpful to you?
A -Meditation, breathing and positive affirmations.
Q -Are you able to go out now?
A -Yes...I'm no longer agoraphobic and life is wonderful. I do still have some phobias ...such as claustrophobia and fear of flying.
Q -What is your life like now?
A -My life is wonderful and every new day is a blessing.
Staff, H. (2007, February 19). My Story of Panic, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, August 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/articles/my-story-of-panic