Reader's Questions About Guilt Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety

I love when reader's ask questions about anxiety. I want to write about what you want to know. Anxiety symptoms and treatment can be very specific to the sufferer, but I will try to answer so that most readers who experience anxiety can take away something. I had two questions last week. Here is the first one:

Guilt Anxiety: When You Are Obsessive About Guilt

Jodi,

What do you suggest for the following. An incident will occur or I create one in my mind with a perceived thought from someone’s ‘way’ of putting something and my mind takes off…..they do not like me or I said something that was not called for. I still do not really know the answer to my obsessing/fretting but somehow it lasts from 10-15 years, to a week or less even, to a couple hours. But some stuff comes up from 20 years ago. It goes into the sick feeling and the ‘sinking’ feeling and there are many triggers that bring it up at any point in time! Like sound asleep and wake up and Bam! It is the first thought in my head and down I go for long lengths of time. I can tell myself over and over the facts are not there/imagined but then my mind just takes off again. Sometimes in a matter of seconds. This all makes me sick, wastes hours of time, seems and is never ending and I am at a loss of what to do. Anyway I think you get the picture. My anxiety comes in from all angles…perceived, real, unreal, etc. Thank you for listening. That is important but then people get tired of hearing me and spout to let it go. Keeping it inside is a killer. Again, thank you, Love Joe

Joe,

Sounds like guilt has seeped in to every corner of your mind, so convinced you are that you have done something wrong, and perhaps hurt someone, or done something unforgivable. You know that these things are usually imagined-- or if they happened are probably unnoticed or fleeting for the other person. Your obsession with guilt has reached huge proportions. During these episodes, you are defining yourself with what you have done. It is as if nothing about you matters except that you did this one thing, or said this one thing. However, I am sure there is so much more to you than that!

And, for some reason, you are unable to forgive yourself these perceived trespasses. This is what you need to work on. You need to forgive yourself, let go, in your heart that these events matter. You need to stop letting them say who you are and know who you are outside of them. It is here that you will find peace from this guilt anxiety.

Love,

Jodi

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: How Do I Deal With Anxiety For "No Reason?"

What is harder to control is the general anxiety: When you feel anxious, agitated, scared, but for no reason. That is harder:(

Nikky

Nikky,

Anxiety always has a reason, but seeming like it doesn't have a reason is one of its tactics to get control over you. It makes you feel "weak," or like "you are the problem" since there is "no cause" and you are still anxious.

The cause of generalized anxiety, like you describe, is a stress response. The stress trigger can be present in the moment (overtired, malnourished, being bullied, embarrassed or in pain), or you could be overall stressed by a context in your life, or a fear related to a history of trauma. The latter often feels like "no reason." Stress is not only a reason, but a very powerful reason on our bodies, minds and spirits.

The context brings the fear and vulnerability leading to the GAD symptoms you describe. It is literally an unease about handling what you feel. The best way to combat this is to connect with feeling safe and trusting yourself. Write a list of your strengths and safety skills, including what you trust about yourself and read this several times a day.

This might be harder if the context is dangerous to begin with and you would have to go deeper to find the parts of yourself, the inner parts that cannot be harmed no matter what: that you have purposes, values, morals, your skills and abilities. The you that you hold onto despite what happens to you. Write these down, get a witness to these parts of yourself and read it a several times a day.

Hopefully, this will bring you some peace.

Love,

Jodi

Tell me if you ever tried this! What happened?

By Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I blog here: Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace
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