One of the symptoms of BPD is "transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms". That's a fancy way of saying that when a person with BPD is under a great deal of stress, he or she can dissociate. He or she experiences an "altered state of consciousness characterized by partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s normal conscious or psychological functioning", as Wikipedia puts it. Translation: detachment or distancing from reality.

"The first step to taking control of your anger is to tell yourself, and keep telling yourself, I'm okay," writes Matsakis. "All that's happening to me is that I'm feeling angry. All I have to do with my nager today is feel it. I can figure out later what to do about it. All I have to do now is ride with it. If I can just feel the anger without hurting myself or someone else, I am a success."

Our degree of recovery comes and goes. Part of staying in recovery from borderline personality disorder (BPD) is learning how to manage symptom-provoking sudden stress. I had a crash course in doing so this past week due to a bank error that showed I had a balance of negative $10 million.

I am a devout Mennonite. On Sunday, we sang the hymn Will You Come and Follow Me? A line stood out to me--"Will you love the 'you' you hide if I but call your name?" It reminded me that in order for borderline personality disorder (BPD) treatment to be effective, we have to do just that--we with borderline need self-acceptance to heal.

Borderline personality disorder does get better if you work at it. You are worth the wait.

Recently my therapist and psychiatrist became concerned about some self-harm urges I've had. Short version: I could either take clonazepam or go to the Crisis Respite Unit. The problem was I didn't want to do either!  I was afraid--afraid that I'd get a reputation for benzodiazepine dependency if I took the pill, and afraid I'd get sent back to the state hospital system if I went to Crisis Respite. My fear of the highly unlikely worst-case scenario was self-destructive; it was causing me to reject potentially helpful courses of action.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the few mental illnesses that can leave visible physical scars. One of the symptoms of BPD is self-injury, or SI for short.  SI is so closely identified with BPD that some psychiatrists will diagnose a person with BPD if only SI is present (technically at least four other criteria should exist, but I'm going by experience). SI is a negative coping skill. In the words of the late Lady Diana Spencer, "You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help."

One of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder is difficulty controlling impulses. Needless to say, this can sometimes lead to disastrous consequences for actions that make sense only to us. Last night, for example, as I looked out my second-story window, I saw a dumpster full of construction debris and felt an inexplicable urge to jump just to see what would happen. Thankfully I didn't, but impulsive, potentially self-damaging behavior can be a problem for people with borderline personality disorder.

After last week's post, Gus123 had this to say: if a “regular doc” finds out one has a mental illness diagnosis, they will blame all one’s ills on “imaginary” causes, discounting one’s judgement and intellect, regardless of the true nature of thing. He hit the nail on the head. A study revealed that almost half of all patients with schizophrenia reported that their family doctors took their physical symptoms less seriously when the doctors were aware of the patient's psychiatric diagnosis. My experience is that they do the same for patients with borderline personality disorder.

There's talk of privatizing the state hospital system. That strikes me as a bad idea. We already have enough mental health services that run with a skeleton staff, minimal oversight, and an emphasis on the bottom line.