Coping With A Life High Followed By A Depression Low

When life's highs are followed by inexplicable lows, the clinically depressed person has the hardest of times.

As I mentioned in my About Me blog post, my battle with depression is ongoing. I lay in the trenches, at the ready for when my brain decides to ambush me with yet another volley of chemical scud missiles.

There have been innumerable times throughout my life when I have experienced said chemical warfare, leading to a short bout of depression during or immediately following an otherwise wonderful experience. A euphoric high followed by a distinct and noticeable low.

Recently, I lived one of these euphoric life moments. Well, it lasted a weekend but the gist of the weekend was centered around this special moment. One of my daughters got married. And what a memorable time it was! Seeing her walk down the aisle with her adoring father - all eyes on her. Through tears of joy, I watched her smile at her fiancé as she spoke the words that would bind them (hopefully) for life. She looked so beautiful and so happy and I, as her mother, was happy too. Elated! Over the moon! High!

The Low of Depression Struck

Then, quite suddenly, came the low. In my own vernacular, as known to family and friends, a depression “dip”. Not a full out depressive episode (thankfully), but a dip below my “normal” whereby melancholy grips me and all I want to do is eat and sleep and eat and sleep. The dips vary in range and duration but always, I feel as though I have to hang on for dear life lest I float away into a black hole.

Sometimes, I can actually feel a physical pull towards the oblivion. I have to struggle to keep away from it; remember my coping mechanisms, remember my meds and most of all, try to remember that this dreaded feeling will go away ... eventually.

And it did.

After the dip (which lasted only about a week this time), I enjoyed a week or so of blessed numbness, which doesn’t sound like a good thing, but for me, kind of is. This numbness (which always follows the dip and again, varies in its presentation) allows me to recharge, regroup and reload.

And by the grace of God and the workings of the Universe, I am, once again, battle-ready.