The Painful Emotions Caused by Depression
From the hot tears of anguish to the cold, unfeeling stare of painful indifference, depression and emotions go hand-in-hand. And, make no mistake - indifference is a very powerful emotion. I've lost whole days to indifference wherein I cared about nothing, including my husband and children. I wish I could say I felt nothing during those days of indifference, but the truth is, the only thing I did feel was pain. I simply had no tears left.
It always cycled back though. Days of indifference followed by days of burning hot tears. Sobs that wracked my body until my ribs hurt and it felt as though my heart was being torn into tiny pieces of nothing. Because that's what I thought of myself, as nothing. Useless. Worthless. Stupid. Foolish. A waste of breath. A waste of space.
And then the days of indifference would begin again.
It's an insane part of the insane world of a person suffering from a major depressive episode.
Emotions Caused by Depression Are Real
Regardless of what stage of emotion you're in, know that your emotion is real. It is a symptom of your depression. What you are feeling is not imagined. It is not fake. It is physical and tangible and exhausting. The emotion associated with your depression can be the catalyst between depression and desperation - where you feel there is no hope.
Please know that there is hope.
I am living proof of that hope. It is a wonder - a blessing, really - that I was able to break the vicious cycle of emotion, and the myriad other symptoms associated with depression. But I did, and you can too.
In the U.S., contact the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255. In Canada, contact CMHA (the Canadian Mental Health Association) http://www.cmha.ca/. Visit any number of blogs on HealthyPlace.com.
We've been where you are. We're here to help.
Scott, L. (2014, April 20). The Painful Emotions Caused by Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, March 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/copingwithdepression/2014/04/depression-and-emotions
Author: Liana M Scott
Besides those cycles, I find that the worst part of depression is the lack of "will". You can be able bodied but if you lack "will" it destroys you from the inside out. I realized this many years ago when I saw the movie, Diving Bell and the Butterfly, where a man wrote an amazing book by blinking. All he could do was blink after an accident and he wrote a book! I have been trying to write a book about my experience with family, medications, mental health professionals, friends, relationships and my life in general for years. I have a B.A. in psychology and so much understanding of it all in great depth, yet lack "will", I call it "cancer of the soul" that just eats away at your ability to do anything, even live. I want to share so much with those afflicted like me. Someday I'll get this gem out I just have to find WILL. LOL!
Thanks, Ruth. Yes, will is a big one - seems to undermine every inspiration or intuitive thought/idea we have.
I escape into indifference, even inertia, when I am depressed, which is almost always. I function because of my medication, but I really don't give a rip about anything.
Hi CJ. It's so difficult, I know. Be well.
is there any way to stop this disease from affecting more members of our family. I know my mother, sister, brother, son, and nephews are suffering from depression and bipolar problems. If I had known I could have passed this gene, I might not have had children.
Hi Margel. I don't suppose there is a way. I have 3 children; two affected by mental illness. My son has anxiety disorder & my daughter has mood disorder. I have depression. My aunt had severe OCD. Regardless of the hereditary component, we are all here for a purpose. For all you know, your child might have a child that makes the next great breakthrough in understanding mental illness. Hugs.
Great entry. Mental health is a 'subject' that needs so much more attention. From Government, Media, in Schools, & daily life. Thanks for taking part!
Thank you! Indeed, places like HealthyPlace.com help to get the word out but so much more is needed.