One of my biggest regrets from my drinking days is that I wasn't a support for my grandfather when he was dying.  We were very close throughout my childhood and adolescence, but when he experienced a recurrence of cancer I was totally immersed in my alcoholism. My mother and I lived with my grandparents for some of his last months, but I was more harm than help. He died a few months before I got sober and for years, my wreaking havoc on my family during this difficult time pained me. For the last seven years I have experienced troubling recurring dreams involving my grandparents and their home, which was a happy and magical place for me growing up.

A few days ago a good friend of mine, Leah, asked for my opinion on a situation she was having with a friend of hers, Sarah. Leah was struggling to stay clean and sober, but recently, she recommitted to substance abuse recovery. Leah wanted to help her friend with a history of drug abuse, who is on methadone, so she has been driving Sarah to the methadone clinic three days a week. Unfortunately, Sarah recently started using drugs again and is pressuring Leah for drug contacts and even to drive her to drug deals. Leah decided she needed space from Sarah and asked if I thought seeking temporary distance was okay. My response -- of course! As long as Sarah is overwhelmed by her drug-seeking behavior, she is not capable of being a good friend.

I took my last drink of alcohol (hopefully for good) on February 19, 2007. I smoked my last cigarette (also hopefully for good) on December 31, 2010. In contrast, my friend quit street drugs and alcohol years ago, but she doesn't know the exact dates. 12-step programs emphasize dates. Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous all celebrate sobriety dates, clean dates and abstinence dates, respectively. For me, my sobriety date is extremely important. It commemorates a miraculous day when I was given another chance to live. The day I quit smoking is important to me too, but I might not remember it if it didn't coincide with New Year's. Perhaps I care more about my sobriety date because my struggle with alcohol was much harder. Even so, for the clean and sober folks I know who do not commemorate a specific clean date, (mind you, this is the minority of clean and sober folks I know) it is not because their sobriety isn't important to them.

When it comes to recovery from active addiction, there are many approaches and treatments that have been tried over the years (see The Best Way to Quit Using Drugs).  Research has shown that addiction is a physiological disease that manifests itself in abnormal behavior.  Along with this is the idea that the addict’s disease actually began before the individual picked up the first drug.

This video provides simple, easy to follow tips for addiction recovery including, having a belief in one's recovery, reaching out for help, and replacing unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

If I were to take a poll of 100 recovering addicts and ask them what method they used to get clean I would likely get a number of responses.  And that’s the point. The best way to quit using drugs is determined by the addict. What works for one individual may not work for another. The method you take to quit using drugs is best decided by you.

Addiction is typically seen as being a bad thing but is it possible to take the negative aspects of addiction and transform them into something positive? This video explores this idea. Watch

Surrender (v) - to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield. Addiction is a powerful thing. For millions that live with this disease, life can be a constant struggle to go on from day to day. Often, despite their own best efforts, many addicts have difficulty coming to terms with their illness. This is often displayed in the form of such defense mechanisms as denial, blaming, and intellectualization, to name but a few

It’s January 1st and it’s a new year. Many people have decided that today will be the day for a fresh start when it comes to addressing issues of addictive behaviors. As for me, it’s simply another day. I don’t mean to downplay the idea of New Year resolutions but I just think that any day we choose can be a new beginning.

When I look back on my active addiction, the biggest barrier to changing to a lifestyle of recovery was me. Years of self-abuse led to a pattern of negative thinking that was hard to overcome. Much of this negative thinking was centered on distorted thinking patterns that had been formed as a result of experiences I had growing up.