Deciding on No Contact with Toxic Friends and Family

I cut myself off from my mother last year, just before Mother's Day. I even sent a cut-off letter. I changed my mind a few months later and contacted her, which affected my splitting. My alters came out and confused my husband, who also struggles with mental disorders. Just before Thanksgiving, I blocked her again after she sent me a picture saying, "I'm going au natural now," with an angry face that she would have when spanking me. She is also one of the reasons I struggle with financial abuse issues (even financially abused the person I love the most because the behavior wasn't obviously toxic to me). I'm running a business to heal from codependency, hoping to help other women who have been sexually abused and exploited process their traumas through writing. I'm not a therapist, so I prefer my clients to either be stable or have a therapist they can talk with, too.
I still have a long way to go to change my behaviors, but I connect with my alters as much as I can each day. It's hard, as sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking I'm lying about the alters. Looking at the symptoms, I had them all. Even now, I feel like I'm in a command center, looking at life through multiple lenses. Some of us love our life, some want more money so we can move with our love to a more rural place since we fear stalkers. (When multiples come out, our "I" turns to "We").
We still get the urge to call Mom, especially Micra (my inner child that's 5 years old). Mitra is 13-17 (My inner Teenager) and rebels, preferring reading and disappearing into fantasy worlds instead of reality, where she's forced to accept that she'd be a sex object when she wanted to be an author. Lalah speaks Darglish, which is a combination of Persian-Dari and English. She fears loud noises, especially mortars, and wants to build a pillow fort on the fourth of July, with Mitra who wants to play in cherry-scented bubbles like she did when her family went to Fourth of July parties at the park thirty minutes away from her house. As I'm healing, all these "characters" come out randomly, sometimes through my writing process.
When I wrote "The Scarring of the Roshanra," I learned I could escape from the prison in my mind. I self-published it just to say I did, after 16 rounds of edits. It took us six years to write the book, and we've been working on the second one for two years. We also started the third book in my Capstone for my Creative Writing AFA, and started a YA Fantasy that links to the same world this week. It's hard to stay on one journey, but we feel great combining our efforts to do what comes naturally to us. We're learning we're awesome. Just need to evolve a little more.
Having a compassionate, protective husband has helped us, though we tend to fear people in general. We think he does, too. But one of my alters is a version of him, since we broke up for a while in 2017. I'm writing a memoir based on one of the times he came out to protect me when I didn't protect myself. Cutting ourselves off from Mom has been one of the best (and most painful) things we have done. We love her. We also love ourselves enough to not accept torture, whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.
One of the more painful things: my brother cut me off a few years ago and I had to accept that he either hated me, he was groomed to distrust me, I was toxic to him, or he had shame after bringing home a rapist when I was 13 or 14 (right on the cusp, but can't recall what month it happened).
Apologies if we've overshared or rambled. A lot has come up for us today after an emotional breakdown last night, where the suicidal thoughts came up when all hope seemed lost.
It's important to recognize the thoughts aren't who we are. We have the thoughts to tell us what direction we need to take. We hate hurting people, so we people please. But people pleasing hurts us and the people around us, so we're learning to be independent, yet still count on others when we need them.
Argh! I'm a Libra with Scorpio Moon and Scorpio Rising. So many emotions to balance!
Your post brought me hope. Tashakur (thank you in Persian Dari, transliterated)!

I'm estranged from my family of origin due to severe dysfunction on their part. I recently found out my sister has brain cancer which will eventually take her life.
I've made two attempts to reach out and be of assistance to her but both ended terribly and I told my sister I would no longer be in her life.
I feel terrible about this. The only way to reconcile with my family is to face attacks on me, have lies spread about me and accept that my mental health will greatly suffer. I feel so guilty and want to be there for my sister but she's the one causing the most trouble. I don't know how to reconcile my grief, guilt and need for self care.