What Does It Feel Like to Be Triggered While Living with DID?
The amount of trauma that each person with dissociative identity disorder (DID) has undergone varies, but the end result is the same. Having DID means needing to live with the possibility of being triggered on a frequent basis, but what does this mean? What does it look like when a person with DID is triggered?
Understanding DID Triggers
Although I have now been diagnosed with DID, I went most of my life not knowing anything about my underlying mental illnesses or the impact of my trauma. On a personal level, I was aware that certain people, places, sounds, and even aromas could create anxiety within me. However, I did not understand where these feelings were coming from, or more importantly, why they were happening.
It wasn’t until I began exploring my past trauma in a therapy setting that I started to understand why I would feel a certain way as a result of a trigger (people, places, sounds, aromas). Now that I can pinpoint which triggers result in anxiety within me, I can manage the panic I feel and regain control more quickly than ever before.
Learning to Cope with DID Triggers
Triggers are a very real part of living with DID, but they don’t have to become overbearing and life-ruining. By identifying specific triggers and understanding why the body reacts a certain way to them, you can regain control of your everyday life, regardless of your diagnosis.
When I start to feel triggered, anxiety creeps in. My heart starts to race, and my palms become sweaty. This is how I know that my body is reacting to what it perceives to be a threat as a result of past trauma.
Once the physical factors set in, my mind begins to backtrack as well. On occasion, I’ll have flashbacks of traumatic incidents, which can be paralyzing. If I allow the full reaction to the trigger to set in, I may suffer a full-blown panic attack, which can last anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes.
However, I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be this way. Through therapy, medication and insight from mental health professionals, I’ve learned that the quicker you regain control of the situation, the better your chances are at avoiding a panic attack.
Identifying and Treating DID Triggers
For me, the key to preventing myself from spiraling out of control as a result of a trigger has always been to stay grounded. This means identifying my physical reactions to a trigger as soon as they appear.
If I delay in identifying the physical reactions, I’ve found that there is still hope in the form of deep breathing and meditation. These tools have helped me successfully avoid flashbacks and full-blown panic attacks in the past.
Finally, medication has also benefited me in ways that I could never have imagined. With guidance from my psychiatrist and DID therapist, I have learned how to use medication quickly and efficiently when all else has failed.
Predicting triggers can be difficult, meaning it’s best to have a plan of action in place for when they pop up. Living with DID comes with its fair share of challenges, but treatment for DID symptoms exists, and it can make a world of difference on your personal healing journey.
What DID triggers do you experience? How do you deal with them? Share your thoughts in the comments.
APA Reference
Vermes, K.
(2020, November 17). What Does It Feel Like to Be Triggered While Living with DID?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, November 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2020/11/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-triggered-while-living-with-did
Author: Krystle Vermes
We had always listened to other people talk about the voice in their heads they would say it said this or that we had always felt we were very similar learning later not everyone had different names or different languages , that’s when my suicidal tendencies became very real . Fortunately our now friend a psychologist basically fixed our situation being advisory’s to each . After 5 years of working very hard learning digging acceptance techniques , skills , medication , meditation , an a deep spiritual experience I became now what I 😉 I have came ti believe I am is a spirit having a human experience an Devin an Emil exist only in my flesh ! Because that was what had been abused an under extreme trauma with weekly death events to the point of waking up after sexual suffocating abuse did I meet Devin an later Emil which saved my life early on in my abuse . My greatest tool is negotiation skills letting them have time under my control an timing I’ve been working with both now for over 2 years using this technique with extremely low bouts with anxiety or suicidal ideation, I would only recommend this type of strategy with very close an open honest visits with my psychologist remember it begins as a thought them emotions they win once you take action on that emotion , negotiation happens way before any emotion other than gratitude you now have a tool for a very important part of your story . Thanks for letting me share this
Hi Kelly. I have recently been diagnosed as well. Some days I accept my diagnosis; and other days I don't. Knowing there is no "quick fix or cure" feels a little overwhelming.
Eva
I’m fairly new to learning all of this about myself, but one thing I clearly got the message on was not to upset them or they will take it out on me relentlessly. I can not use any terms that invalidate them. Therefore, a “cure” is not accepted, “integration” is another forbidden concept, as well as “mental illness”. I’m not mentally ill. I’m just constructed differently due to environmental factors introduced while still developing. It’s not illness. It implies crazy and that word is definitely forbidden. I’m still learning how to navigate all of this.
Although your comment was awhile ago, I must tell you, I can hear and see that you and your parts are suffering from the unrelenting hateful and sick rage driven abuse you must have went through as a young child, and even ongoing abuse. I relate to this severe torture, though it isn't quite happening now, you and your parts clung on to the abusive rules you were taught, even taking on the need to be abused... The things that helped me the most for that is forgiveness, and Jesus and lots of time, time spent diligently (seeking to get better with a passion-before I found out I have DID) now, If I didn't get help from God that He wants me to forgive myself- it's a heck of a lot more difficult and complicated than just 'forgiving myself', because theres a bunch of rules we thought we had to adhear to- out of fear in order to protect ourselves from ouside evils... ugh any way I lose track when I try to comment, things get mixed up. I think you hate yourself, cuz thats how I felt and experienced stuff. Cruel rigid tourturous torment, thats what got us here, all of you please try to stop holding up that torture in/on Kelly, I know you guys love her, you want to help her, it's gonna be ok,put the hammer down and stop beating yourselves, it's ok, your gonna be ok, you can be safe from the torture.
Kelly, you are a right I do not except that I have mental illness either I have been living with DID for over 50 years. I am still learning to live with my parts and some days triggers and switching are off the chain, but I’m still hanging in there. Unlike most I do not take medication I feel like it doesn’t work for me
Hang in there!!