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Other People's Feelings Are Not Your Responsibility

July 11, 2024 Mahevash Shaikh

Do you try to manage other people's feelings by trying to turn someone's frown upside down or calm down an angry person? If your answer to both questions is yes, you are probably a kind and caring individual. And that's great because if the world needs more of anything, it's considerate folks. That said, you need to know that you are not responsible for other people's feelings. Here's why.

Why You Are Not Responsible for Managing Other People's Feelings

I believe that it's not your job to manage other people's feelings for the following reasons:

  1. You have your own feelings to manage -- Every human experiences feelings, and it is up to each one of us to manage them the best we can. Instead of taking on someone else's emotional burden, we owe it to ourselves to understand and manage our emotions.
  2. One's emotional regulation is essential in healthy relationships -- In healthy relationships, individuals can have honest conversations and be empathetic without taking on the role of emotional caretaker. Ultimately, the average person is capable of emotional regulation.
  3. You need to maintain boundaries -- As every individual is responsible for their emotional wellbeing, trying to manage other people's feelings will involve crossing boundaries. As we all know, boundaries are important in every kind of relationship.
  4. Self-care is essential -- Prioritizing your mental health is an important aspect of self-care. Constantly taking on others' emotions is likely to cause compassion fatigue, which may then result in neglect of your wellbeing. 
  5. You don't want to restrict personal growth -- When you refrain from managing other people's feelings, you give them the space to take responsibility for handling their own emotions. As a result, you help your loved one build skills like resilience and emotional intelligence, skills that are crucial for personal growth and self-improvement.

Are You Unable to Stop Yourself from Managing Other People's Feelings? 

If you are a people-pleaser or an empath, it can be challenging to stop trying to control other people's feelings. Since the first step to resolving any issue is awareness, check out the video below, where I talk about some signs that indicate you cannot stop yourself from managing other people's feelings. 

Understanding that you are not responsible for anybody's feelings other than your own is crucial for your mental health. And remember, caring for yourself is the first step to caring for others.

APA Reference
Shaikh, M. (2024, July 11). Other People's Feelings Are Not Your Responsibility, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/mentalhealthforthedigitalgeneration/2024/7/other-peoples-feelings-are-not-your-responsibility



Author: Mahevash Shaikh

Mahevash Shaikh is a millennial blogger, author, and poet who writes about mental health, culture, and society. She lives to question convention and redefine normal. You can find her at her blog and on Instagram and Facebook.

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