to: Governor Dannel P. Malloy, Connecticut Dear Governor Malloy, Thank you for taking a stand this weekend for mental health treatment. According to the Connecticut Post, you received a "rousing ovation" at the U.S. Conference of Mayors for demanding that we remove the stigma from mental health issues, rather than destigmatizing violence as we do in many video games. You said: "If we spent as much time and energy on destigmatizing mental health treatment as we do in the proliferation of these video games that destigmatize violence, we as a society would make great gains." Governor, I couldn't agree with you more. Now it's time to put the money (budget) where your statement is.

A Cause of Sandy Hook School Shooting? The obituaries in my local paper still contain too many heartbreaking attempts to sum up the life of a six-year-old. My friends continue to tearfully share personal connections to the heartbroken families in Newtown, where less than one week ago lives were tragically ended - and countless more changed - forever. As we continue to cry out: Why? how?  And how we prevent this from happening again? The voices of reason speak out: Better Gun Control. Fewer violent video games. A shift in media coverage to stop sensationalizing violence. More enforcement of mandated treatment for those who need it. And - a cause we have felt personally ever since Ben's diagnosis of schizophrenia - more help and services for those with mental health issues, and for their families. Who will listen? Who will act? We must. All of us. Pick a cause and advocate. Fight back. Speak out. Insist upon change. And don't let these issues fade.

I write this just a few hours after having spoken at a legislative breakfast in Connecticut, where looming budget cuts seem aimed at "saving money" by cutting funding to non-profit agencies that provide needed services to people who have disabilities or disadvantages ranging from poverty to down's syndrome to mental illness...people who, with these services, have a chance to rebuild their dignity, their potential, their futures. Without these services? The costs are astronomical - financially as well as emotionally. Homelessness, hopelessness, aimlessness, illness relapse, even crime. And here we are, moments later, hearing the news that another shooting has occured - this time in our own backyard, in Newtown  CT. A shooter has opened fire in an elementary school. An elementary school. Does this have anything to do with untreated mental illness? I have no idea, yet - but it is one of the first things that comes to my mind.

This is Ben's journey, too. That's what I sometimes need to remind myself. Mental Illness and Stigma Sure, I have become the family spokesperson for our experience with mental illness, since writing a book and this blog about our journey "from chaos to hope" with schizophrenia. Still, when people ask me to come and speak, either in person or in the media, about the issues associated with our situation, they sometimes ask if Ben will come and speak too. The answer is: No. Not yet, anyway. And I can only hope that Ben's decision is not only respected, but understood.

When my son, Ben, was in the first stages of recurring psychosis from schizophrenia, we were waiting for him to get "sick enough" to finally earn a bed in a psychiatric unit (don't get me started on this). During that period, we had many encounters with our local police officers while Ben, and the rest of the family, were in crisis. I am so happy that these officers were trained in mental health crisis intervention. I am thankful for their kindness and empathy toward Ben, Ali and me which made our traumatic situation more bearable. Even more importantly, their CIT (Crisis Intervention Training) made it possible to avoid the trauma-upon-trauma pile-up of emotions that could have escalated the crisis instead.

We know what happened, but not why.  We mourn the victims, hug our loved ones to us, and will think twice before walking into a movie theatre for awhile. The Batman massacre in Aurora, Colorado. Unspeakable violence. Haunting pictures of a grieving father, a critically injured mother who cannot yet be told that her 6-year-old child is one of the victims - and a young, academically-gifted young man now sporting fire-engine-red hair and a (let's just say it) really creepy smile. And again, the questions: How could this have happened? What could have led up to this horrible, terrifying, unspeakable act? And - as we ask each time this happens - Could it have been prevented? Why did no one see the signs? And, for me, the gratitude that my own son's mental illness is diagnosed, treated, and no longer defines all of his actions. 

Nine years ago, I was appointed conservator of estate and person for my son Ben. I remember the court hearing well. Ben was in the middle of his first hospitalization for schizophrenia, refusing medication, and wanted to be released. The only way to keep him in the hospital, if he did not agree to stay voluntarily (and that certainly wasn't happening), was to apply for conservatorship. The hospital would then be legally required to keep Ben there - at least until the court date.

I just returned from a trip to Phoenix, Arizona, where for three days I've been on a whirlwind tour of interviews, meetings, and one community lecture, courtesy of Arizona Foundation for Behavioral Health (AFBH) and ASU's Center for Applied Behavioral Health Policy - all to tell our family story to those who will, we hope, be affected by it in some way.

Last night, I attended an amazing "Legislative Social" hosted by our local NAMI Fairfield (CT) affiliate.  What an evening of possibility, of hope. Thanks to the efforts of this strong NAMI chapter and its members, about a dozen state legislators and an audience of over 100  were there to hear about Supportive Housing, Young Adult Services, School-based Services, and Mental/Medical Community Health Services. There were presentations and stories from successful programs such as Bridge House (International Clubhouse Model, in Bridgeport CT),  Yale's Integrated Care Partners Project,  supported housing programs, YAS (young adult services) and a new initiative for School Based Health Centers in Connecticut.

So many kind readers have written to me about Ben Behind His Voices and have expressed gratitude not only for the way we share our story, but for the resources included as the drama unfolds. These letters have reinforced the fact that so many are still confused about how to navigate the symptoms, the rules, the systems we encounter when mental illness affects the family. I am among the confused, still. It seems there is always more to learn. (insert sigh here) Enter this book, by Paul Komarek and Andrea Schroer: Defying Mental Illness: Finding Recovery with Community Resources and Family Support