Self-Harm During a Panic Attack
When you experience a panic attack, the physical sensations are so intense they often cloud your judgment. For example, you may hyperventilate while the room seems to spin and your heart is about to race out of your chest. Some people may also feel like they're cornered in a flight-or-fight situation and may even self-harm during a panic attack. Why does that happen? I'm not sure I have the answers, but I can offer my personal insight.
Why I Self-Harm During a Panic Attack
Firstly, let me say I'm fortunate enough not to experience panic attacks very often. However, I can count a few instances in my life when they did happen to me, and usually, I was already going through some internal battles when they occurred. For example, I had an awful incident when I was in a big city in the middle of a huge parade — a place where I should not have been, given my dislike for crowds — and suddenly, I felt like I couldn't breathe.
But you see, it wasn't just that I was uncomfortable in crowded spaces. Each time I experienced a panic attack, I was already going through depression and felt stressed due to my life circumstances. So, could it be that I felt like I was physically running out of air because, on the inside, I felt cornered and swamped?
At some point, I started experiencing different kinds of panic attacks, too. But, this time, I wasn't among lots of strangers in a public space — on the contrary. Instead, I was at home, having a heated argument with a close person. If you've never experienced a panic attack while arguing with someone, I can only describe it as an implosion of emotions and an overwhelming state where you feel betrayed and under attack. For me, the only way to snap out of this losing battle was to jump into flight mode and take it out on myself.
As I reflect on the experience, I can say that I self-harmed because fighting triggers my past trauma and makes me panic. I feel threatened, unsafe, and helpless, so I jump into an unhealthy survival mode to cope with the situation and, perhaps, to ground myself.
How It Feels to Self-Harm During a Panic Attack (And How Your Partner Can Help)
If like me, you've snapped into self-harm during an argument with someone, it might be worth having an honest conversation with that person. You might find out that perhaps this person is triggering you, and you shouldn't be around them anymore. Or, they might cooperate and help calm you down next time you have a panic attack.
In this video, I talk about how it feels to self-harm during panic attacks and ways to address the incident with your partner.
Have you ever self-harmed during a panic attack? Let me know in the comments.
Halas, M. (2021, June 28). Self-Harm During a Panic Attack, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, December 1 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/6/self-harm-during-a-panic-attack
Author: Martyna Halas
Hi!! I would like to say that reading this article helped me recognize that what I experienced when I was waiting in the line of the club a few months ago was indeed a panic attack. I was overwhelmed by crowds especially since it’s a pandemic but my friends wanted to go, so I forced myself to go. In line, I just felt like I was stuck and the anxiety kept growing, so I would turn to self-harm as well to try and get myself to focus on that instead of the internal panic. Thank you for sharing this article, you have articulated my feelings very well!
I am not the author of this particular post, but I'm so glad you found it helpful. Panic attacks are scary, and it's completely understandable that you might turn to something like self-harm for relief. Anxiety can definitely be a big trigger; at least it was in my experience. I hope this realization helps you take steps in the future to manage your anxiety in other ways; sometimes just naming a thing (e.g. "I am having a panic attack") can help lessen the intensity, even if just a little bit—and that little bit of breathing room can sometimes give you space enough to think of other ways to cope, such as breathing exercises or other mindfulness techniques that don't require special tools or extra preparation. (For me, the few times that I've had a panic attack, the 4 x 4 breathing technique really helped ground me. So did eating a small amount of peanut butter, for some reason. Still haven't figured that one out. :) )
Wishing you the best with your recovery,