Sadness in PTSD - What You Can Do About It

Posttraumatic-stress disorder (PTSD) involves a lot of sadness: about your having been victimized, about having developed a persistent mental disorder (and that's exactly what it is), about how few people understand what happened to you, about how few people understand how your life has been changed as a result, and about how difficult it is to get it all resolved - fixed - taken care of. And that's hardly a complete list. What do these all have in common? Loss. Sadness is a reaction we have automatically and outside any direct control when we realize we've lost something that matters.

What can you do about it? Two things, basically. You can shift your attention or you can deal with the problem directly. The first option is almost always the easiest, but you should know that it's temporary at best.

Shifting your Attention Away from PTSD Sadness

In one of my recent posts, is pointed out that anger is never a choice, but that it is an involuntary response to fear. Sadness is exactly the same, as it is an involuntary response to loss. (It's actually part of a continuum of responses we have to loss, beginning with mild annoyance and rising all the way to anguish.)

If this is true, then one way to deal with sadness is simply to "change the channel" - to pay attention to something that does not make you sad. This can be quite easy.

The simplest way to do this may be to eat or drink something you like, and indeed many people do this when dealing with the sadness they encounter in depression (also a frequent part of having PTSD). Regrettably, this response can easily have undesirable side effects. It's surely better to learn to shift to something that quite literally grabs your attention or interest.

Here are some alternatives, one of which is a bit absurd, but all would probably deal with the problem well:

1. Throw yourself overboard, while floating down a white-water river! Presto - no more sadness. Panic instead! Obviously, this may not be an ideal choice, but it certainly would deal with the problem, for the simple reason that your attention would be strongly shifted to something that doesn't make you sad.
2. Take a brisk walk - as if you're late to get somewhere. This is non-fattening, costs nothing, can be done with a kid or dog, and will get you to breath some fresh air. The sun (we hope) in your face is a definite bonus. When you return home, you can feel good for having done something healthy.
3. Tackle some housecleaning you've been putting off. For most of us, this is not especially mentally challenging, does require physical activity, and the result will usually please you. Those good feelings are a perfect outcome.
4. Dive into some seriously absorbing subject you've been setting aside for a rainy day. This has to be something you know you have a deep interest in and is not passive. Read - or watch a training video - about something you truly want or need to learn. Take notes, make plans. The more mentally active you are, the better. "Interest" is a powerful, positive emotion.
5. Find someone who truly needs your help, and help them. (This suggestion is found in a parable from India, about a meditation student who was feeling discouraged with their own efforts.)

For some people - women especially - what may be the most effective way to shift your attention is to find someone you can talk with. Seek out someone you can trust, and who is accepting of whatever you feeling, be it good or bad. If you haven't cultivated such a person, make a note to prioritize this when you get your energy back. It's important!

When that Doesn't Work, Address the Sadness by Addressing the PTSD

As I promised, this is the more difficult option, simply because some real and permanent changes will be required.

Let's take an example. Let's say you've had a canine companion for many years, and you were both in a car accident. Your dog passed away from his injuries, and you now have flashbacks when you ride or try to drive a car. You have a lot of losses to deal with, and consequently a lot of sadness.

Some of the time, when sadness strikes you, it may be possible to shift your attention and temporarily bring your sadness to an end. If so, then it's a quickly applied response, and you should use it. However, all it deals with are your feelings of the moment.

What do you do if your attempts to shift your attention just don't help the sadness in PTSD? First, be sure you're making a full-scale attempt to sift your attention. Half measures often won't do with the feelings of sadness that PTSD provokes. If it seems clear that your brain wants to pay attention to your pain, then that's what you have to do.

In reality, if you have PTSD, you should make a very major effort to get qualified professional help, because we now know how to deal quite effectively with most PTSD, and that will also take care of the sadness. If you haven't yet realized that this is what's needed, your persistent, won't-be-deflected sadness is telling your something. Can you hear it?

Addressing permanently the problem of PTSD-related sadness really does requires that you resolve your PTSD. Doing this won't negate your losses, certainly, but it appears to bring about a change both in one's emotional dynamics and in how we think about our situation. That result has an extremely good chance of resolving your sadness and a number of other PTSD-related feelings you really don't want in your life. Sound good? It is. Don't you deserve this?

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Image credit: Rodolfo Amoedo, via Wikimedia Commons - public domain