General Information on Attention Deficit Disorder

Pointers for parents of children with add and/or learning disabilities

  1. Take the time to listen to your children as much as you can (really try to get their "Message").
  2. Love them by touching them, hugging them, tickling them, wrestling with them (they need lots of physical contact).
  3. Look for and encourage their strengths, interests, and abilities. Help them to use these as compensations for any limitations or disabilities.
  4. Reward them with praise, good words, smiles, and pat on the back as often as you can.
  5. Accept them for what they are and for their human potential for growth and development. Be realistic in your expectations and demands.
  6. Involve them in establishing rules and regulations, schedules, and family activities.
  7. Tell them when they misbehave and explain how you feel about their behavior; then have them propose other more acceptable ways of behaving.
  8. Help them to correct their errors and mistakes by showing or demonstrating what they should do. Don't nag!
  9. Give them reasonable chores and a regular family work responsibility whenever possible.
  10. Give them an allowance as early as possible and then help them plan to spend within it.
  11. Provide toys, games, motor activities and opportunities that will stimulate them in their development.
  12. Read enjoyable stories to them and with them. Encourage them to ask questions, discuss stories, tell the story, and to reread stories.
  13. Further their ability to concentrate by reducing distracting aspects of their environment as much as possible (provide them with a place to work, study and play).
  14. Don't get hung up on traditional school grades! It is important that they progress at their own rates and be rewarded for doing so.
  15. Take them to libraries and encourage them to select and check out books of interest. Have them share their books with you. Provide stimulating books and reading material around the house.
  16. Help them to develop self-esteem and to compete with self rather than with others.
  17. Insist that they cooperate socially by playing, helping, and serving others in the family and the community.
  18. Serve as a model to them by reading and discussing material of personal interest. Share with them some of the things you are reading and doing.
  19. Don't hesitate to consult with teachers or other specialists whenever you feel it to be necessary in order to better understand what might be done to help your child learn.


next: 10 Years of Brain Imaging Research Shows the Brain Reads Sound by Sound
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). General Information on Attention Deficit Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/general-information-on-attention-deficit-disorder

Last Updated: February 13, 2016

An Inclusive Learning Handbook for Prisons and Young Offender Institutions

Unrecognised Dyslexia and the Route to Offending

A study completed for the British Dyslexia Association has found that there are many links between undiagnosed dyslexia and the criminal justice system. This could also have some major implications for those with ADD/ADHD so we have decided to add the report of this study to the ADD/ADHD Research Pages here so that people can possibly investigate a bit further.

To read the full study Click Here

Also whilst checking through various UK Government Sites I found a really useful document called "An Inclusive Learning Handbook for Prisons and Young Offender Institutions" which has some very interesting sections concerning ADHD, including YO Institutes Teaching ADHD Guidelines.

To read this Click Here

Foreword In recent years a number of projects and studies has identified a link between dyslexia and offending. A much higher incidence of dyslexia, usually between 30% and 50% have been found amongst offenders compared with and incidence of 10% in the general population. Yet appropriate educational support of dyslexic offenders remains the exception rather than the rule.

As a result, the BDA recently established work with offenders as a key strategic theme and were delighted to be able to work alongside Bradford Youth Offending Team to examine the issue with young offenders. The establishment of the Youth Justice Board and YOTs and the added commitment to supporting the education of young offenders gives us a real opportunity to improve support for dyslexic offenders and reduce offending.

The BDA has gained from its partnership with Bradford YOT and developed a valuable insight to support the work of the YOT. Now we move forward to disseminate and further develop this work, this report is key to doing that.

Finally, I would like to thank the staff at Bradford YOT and many of their partner agencies, including Education Bradford, for their support with this work. I would also like to thank JJ Charitable Trust and Tudor Trust, whose funding made this project possible.

Steve Alexander, Chief Executive, British Dyslexia Association

Executive Summary

There is evidence of a "route to offending" among certain young people, which starts with difficulties in the classroom, moves through low self-esteem, poor behaviour and school exclusion, and ends in offending.

Children and young people with dyslexia are more likely fall onto this route, because of the difficulties they face with learning.

The broad aim of this project is to examine the processes of the Youth Justice system and highlight the issues associated with dyslexia amongst young offenders. Whilst it was expected that the incidence of dyslexia amongst the sample of young people screened would be high, the real value of this work would be in the recommendations that would be made to identify and support dyslexic young offenders within the system.

The project found that there were particular 'hot spots' in the system at which knowledge of a young person's dyslexia was critical to the best action being taken. These included the support given by an Appropriate Adult, Presentence Reports and the use of ASSET. Also, a particularly difficult problem to solve is that so many young offenders are not formally excluded form school but do not attend. This leaves the funding for their education locked in the school system, while voluntary income is used to develop projects to engage them positively in the community.

A sample of 34 young offenders was screened for dyslexia and 19 were categorized as dyslexic, an incidence of 56%.

The incidence of dyslexia appeared to increase with the severity of the offending. Reading ages were generally much lower than chronological ages and informal contact with the sample highlighted low self-esteem. Of the 19 young people in the dyslexic group, 7 had a statement of Special Educational Need, but they all related to behavioural problems, not dyslexia.

The project offered a number of interventions in addition to the screening. These included ICT based literacy support for individuals, training for staff at the YOT and partner agencies that work with the YOT.

This project adds weight to evidence that suggests that there is a much higher incidence of dyslexia amongst offenders. Appropriate screening, assessment and intervention will help these young people to build selfesteem and break out of the cycle of re-offending.

The BDA calls on all Youth Offending Teams to study its findings and implement the recommendations made.


 


 

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). An Inclusive Learning Handbook for Prisons and Young Offender Institutions, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/an-inclusive-learning-handbook-for-prisons-and-young-offender-institutions

Last Updated: May 6, 2019

Chapter 3: Alcohol Conquers the Mind

Here I talk about the time when alcohol conquered my mind and I how I had to drink just to feel okay.At age 20, I was not even old enough to drink, but got arrested for drunk driving. At 21, after a change in colleges, my grades suffered as alcohol became more of a priority. I recall feeling extremely anxious and out of place at this new school. I felt like everyone was looking at me and talking about me. I was so nervous all the time that an acute sense of paranoia had set in. To this day, I do not know if people really were talking about me or if I was just hearing it in my head.

I always had a stiff mannerism when walking, but now this got much worse and quite noticeable. When I walked, I had a gait with a very tight tension because the constant detoxing from alcohol made me stiff with anxiety. On many days, I needed a drink to feel just okay. The amount of alcohol that would get a normal college kid drunk, just made me feel like I was on level ground. I had one arrest for drunken driving from the year before and got another arrest this year. I didn't go to court for my hearing because of a hangover and I was still feeling quite loaded. Now I was on the run from the law with a warrant out for my arrest. I really needed to drink now.

There was just no stopping me. I drank now because of the stress that the problems from prior drinking had caused me. I got another arrest, but this one was in another state which did not affect my driving record in my home state. That makes three DUIs by age 22. I ended up getting arrested for the one outstanding DUI warrant in my home state. I was caught because I would stand on the train tracks and wait for trains that moved about 70 mph to almost hit me then jump out of the way. I don't know if I wanted to die or I was just into it for a drunken thrill.

One time, the police got word of this and I got caught. Of course, I also had the warrants for DUI charges. I had to go to jail. I was the youngest guy in the psychiatric ward of the prison. It was an indescribable hell. I was not only in prison, but I was among the insane criminals of the psychiatric netherworld that they called the "M2 ward." Only one who has been to jail knows the feeling of pure hopelessness with 100% lack of freedom and privacy. One who has been to jail never sees life quite the same way again, even if nothing particularly bad happened to him in prison.

After a few days of that, my court hearing came up. I had to go to 26 days of inpatient treatment at an alcohol rehabilitation center or 26 more days of prison. I ended up going to rehabs, but continued to drink. It seemed now that I simply couldn't stop even though I really wanted to quit drinking altogether. I made solemn oaths to quit drinking alcohol for good, only to pick up the first drink once again.

I had to go to court with lawyers to plead my case to a lesser charge. All this stress made the alcohol problem multiply. Around the same time that all of this was happening, I had moved in with my girlfriend in Center City, Philadelphia. Being away from my parents' home, I could now drink openly and have a reserve in the refrigerator. I began morning drinking, drinking before work, and drinking to get to bed. My insomnia was awful.

I had to drop out of college and work full-time. I could drink on my job because I worked in a small store where I was the only one there most of the time. I took on the late night shift so I could isolate myself in my drunkenness. I tried going to psychiatrists in the past and their medications did not help. I denied that I had been drinking as much as I was to my doctors. I remember their warnings about alcohol-related anxiety and depression. They said to get alcohol out of my system first, and then to work on my other problems. I did not want to hear that. I wanted a magic pill to cure me. After all, I knew I could not quit getting drunk. I had already tried that.

At this point in time, I felt like I needed alcohol to think properly. Without the booze, my mind was a racing mess. I couldn't relax or concentrate on anything. Alcohol had become part of my mentality. Alcohol had become my mind.

next: Chapter 4: Pickled in Alcohol
~ all Raw Psychology articles
~ addictions library articles
~ all addictions articles

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). Chapter 3: Alcohol Conquers the Mind, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/chapter-3-alcohol-conquers-the-mind

Last Updated: April 26, 2019

Make It Happen

Chapter 69 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan:

IN THE REMOTE JUNGLES of Southeast Asia on the Malay Peninsula, aboriginal tribes were studied in the 1930s and '40s. Two of the tribes - the Negritos and the Temiar - were very similar. They both paid a lot of attention to their dreams.

The Negritos' attitude was passive. They felt they were the victims of evil forces. If they had a bad dream about a tree, for example, from that point on they would be afraid of the tree and its evil spirit.

But the Temiar taught their children that aggression in dreams was good. The child should not turn away from dream monsters, but attack them. They were taught that if they run away, the monsters or evil spirits will plague them until they turn and fight.

The two tribes were similar in many ways, but this one difference made the Temiar psychologically healthy, according to Kilton Stewart and Pat Noone, a psychologist and an anthropologist who studied them, and it made the Negritos psychologically unhealthy.

In any situation, you can have the attitude of reaching, of trying to accomplish what you want, or by default you will become a victim, the effect of circumstances and other people's goals. If you aren't actively trying to cause an effect you want, you will be forced by the aggression of others to respond, to react, to be the effect of their initiations. It isn't the perfect design by my standards, but that is the way it works out, whether we like it or not.

So make it a practice to think about what you want, what you think would be good, and then try to make that happen. You'll run into resistance sometimes. That's okay. No need to resist the resistance. It's just someone else trying to make something happen too (or trying to prevent themselves from being a victim). Don't get caught up in it. Keep in mind what you want and continue taking steps toward it.

In other words, become less passive and more aggressive in your attitude. Aggression can be a good thing. If it's aggression without anger or judgement, it can create a lot of good in the world. In fact, it has already.


 


Think about what you want and try to make it happen.

We all fall victim to our circumstances and our biology and our upbringing now and then. But it doesn't have to be that way as often.
You Create Yourself

Comfort and luxury are not the chief requirements of life. Here's what you need to really feel great.
A Lasting State of Feeling Great

Comptetion doesn't have to be an ugly affair. In fact, from at least one perspective, it is the finest force for good in the world.
The Spirit of the Games

Achieving goals is sometimes difficult. When you feel discouraged, check this chapter out. There are three things you can do to make the achievement of your goals more likely.
Do You Want to Give Up?

next: Forbidden Fruits

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). Make It Happen, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-stuff-that-works/make-it-happen

Last Updated: March 31, 2016

Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression Homepage

Overcoming Depression for good. Get rid of the sadness and pain. Scholar Julian Simon on ways to overcome depression. Self-Comparison Analysis.Julian Simon was depressed for 13 long years, living each day under a black cloud of sadness and pain. Simon consulted psychiatrists and psychologists of several schools, and read widely and critically in the psychological literature, desperate to find some therapy that would banish his depression.

Eventually he began to find help in the writings of cognitive therapists. Simon cured his own depression within weeks, and remained depression-free for the past 18 years before his death. He has made innovative contributions to the cognitive approach, resulting in his own distinctive technique, Self-Comparison Analysis.

In this book, Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression, the great scholar talks about what he learned from his own experiences with depression and how he overcame it by controlling his thinking. The book's accompanying software, the program Overcoming Depression, is based on advances in cognitive science and artificial intelligence.

The great free-market economist and polymath, Julian Simon, passed away on February 8, 1998.


Table of contents

next: Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression Introduction
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression Homepage, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/articles/new-psychology-of-overcoming-depression-homepage

Last Updated: June 18, 2016

Eating Disorders: Self Injury

What is self-injury?

It's called many things - self-inflicted violence, self-injury, self-harm, parasuicide, delicate cutting, self-abuse, self-mutilation. This is a posible comorbid disorder with an eating disorder.It's called many things - self-inflicted violence, self-injury, self-harm, parasuicide, delicate cutting, self-abuse, self-mutilation (this last particularly seems to annoy people who self-injure).

Self-injury is also called the "new age anorexia," the practice of self-abuse or mutilating behavior is on the rise.

Broadly speaking self-injury is the act of attempting to alter a mood state by inflicting physical harm serious enough to cause tissue damage to one's body.

Approximately 1% of the United States population uses physical self-injury as a way of dealing with overwhelming feelings or situations, often using it to speak when no words will come.

The forms and severity of self-injury can vary, although the most commonly seen behavior is cutting, burning, and head-banging.

Other forms of self-injurious behavior include:

  • carving
  • scratching
  • branding
  • marking
  • burning/abrasions
  • biting
  • bruising
  • hitting
  • picking, and pulling skin and hair

It's not self-injury if the primary purpose is:

  • sexual gratification
  • body decoration (e.g., body piercing, tattooing)
  • spiritual enlightenment via ritual
  • fitting in or being cool

Why does self-injury make some people feel better?

  • It reduces physiological and psychological tension rapidly.
    • Studies have suggested that when people who self-injure get emotionally overwhelmed, an act of self-harm brings their levels of psychological and physiological tension and arousal back to a bearable baseline level almost immediately. In other words, they feel a strong uncomfortable emotion, don't know how to handle it (indeed, often do not have a name for it), and know that hurting themselves will reduce the emotional discomfort extremely quickly. They may still feel bad (or not), but they don't have that panicky jittery trapped feeling; it's a calm bad feeling.
  • Some people never get a chance to learn how to cope effectively.
    • One factor common to most people who self-injure, whether they were abused or not, is invalidation. They were taught at an early age that their interpretations and feelings about the things around them were bad and wrong. They learned that certain feelings weren't allowed. In abusive homes, they may have been severely punished for expressing certain thoughts and feelings. At the same time, they had no good role models for coping. You can't learn to cope effectively with distress unless you grow up around people who are coping effectively with distress. Although a history of abuse is common about self-injurers, not everyone who self-injures was abused. Sometimes invalidation and lack of role models for coping are enough, especially if the person's brain chemistry has already primed them for choosing this sort of coping.
  • Problems with neurotransmitters may play a role.
    • Just as it's suspected that they way the brain uses serotonin may play a role in depression, so scientists think that problems in the serotonin system may predispose some people to self-injury by making them tend to be more aggressive and impulsive than most people. This tendency toward impulsive aggression, combined with a belief that their feelings are bad or wrong, can lead to the aggression being turned on the self. Of course, once this happens, the person harming himself learns that self-injury reduces his level of distress, and the cycle begins. Some researchers theorize that a desire to release endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, is involved.

What kinds of people self-injure?

Self-injurers come from all walks of life and all economic brackets. People who harm themselves can be male or female; gay, straight, or bisexual; Ph.D.'s or high-school dropouts or high-school students; rich or poor; from any country in the world. Some people who self-injure manage to function effectively in demanding jobs; professors, engineers. Some are on disability. Their ages range from early teens to early 60s.

In fact, the incidence of self-injury is about the same as that of eating disorders, but because it's so highly stigmatized, most people hide their scars, burns, and bruises carefully. They also have excuses ready when someone asks about the scars.


Aren't people who would deliberately cut or burn themselves psychotic?

No more than people who drown their sorrows in a bottle of vodka are. It's a coping mechanism, just not one that's as understandable to most people or as accepted by society ad alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating, anorexia and bulimia, workaholism, smoking cigarettes, and other forms of problem avoidance.

Okay, then isn't it just another way to describe a failed suicide attempt?

NO. Self-injury is a maladaptive coping mechanism, a way to stay alive. People who inflict physical harm on themselves are often doing it in an attempt to maintain psychological integrity - it's a way to keep from killing themselves. They release unbearable feelings and pressures through self-harm, and that eases their urge toward suicide. And, although some people who self-injure do later attempt suicide, they almost always use a method different from their preferred method of self-harm.

Can anything be done for people who hurt themselves?

Yes. Many new therapeutic approaches have been and are being developed to help self-harmers learn new coping mechanisms and teach them how to start using those techniques instead of self-injury. These approaches reflect a growing belief among mental-health workers that once a client's patterns of self-inflicted violence stabilize, real work can be done on the problems and issues underlying the self-injury. Also, research into medications that stabilize mood, ease depression, and calm anxiety is being done; some of these drugs may help reduce the urge to self-harm. What problems may be encountered when getting professional help? Self-injury brings out many uncomfortable feelings in people who don't do it: revulsion, anger, fear, and distaste, to name a few. If a medical professional is unable to cope with her own feelings about self-harm, then he/she has an obligation to the client to find a practitioner willing to do this work. In addition, the therapist has the responsibility to be certain the client understands that the referral is due to the practitioner's own inability to deal with self-injury and not to any inadequacies in the client.

People who self-injure do generally do so because of an internal dynamic, and not in order to annoy, anger or irritate others. Their self-injury is a behavioral response to an emotional state, as is usually not done in order to frustrate caretakers. What problems may be encountered in the emergency room? In emergency rooms, people with self-inflicted wounds are often told directly and indirectly, that they are not as deserving of care as someone who has an accidental injury. They are treated badly by the same doctors who would not hesitate to do everything possible to preserve the life of an overweight, sedentary heart-attack patient.

Doctors in emergency rooms and urgent-care clinics should be sensitive to the needs of patients who come in to have self-inflicted wounds treated. If the patient is calm, denies suicidal intent, and has a history of self-inflicted violence, the doctor should treat the wounds as they would treat non-self-inflicted injuries. Refusing to give anesthesia for stitches, making disparaging remarks, and treating the patient as an inconvenient nuisance simply further the feelings of invalidation and unworthiness the self-injurer already feels.

Although offering mental-health follow-up services is appropriate, psychological evaluations with an eye toward hospitalization should be avoided in the emergency room unless the person is clearly a danger to his/her own life or to others. In places where people know that self-inflicted injuries are liable to lead to mistreatment and lengthy psychological evaluations, they are much less likely to seek medical attention for their wound infections and other complications.

Why do adolescents self-injure?

Adolescents who have difficulty talking about their feelings may show their emotional tension, physical discomfort, pain and low self-esteem with self-injurious behaviors. Although they may feel like the "steam" in the "pressure cooker" has been released following the act of hurting themselves, teenagers may also feel hurt, anger, fear, and hate.

What can parents do about self-injury?

Parents must listen to their child and acknowledge their child's feelings. (In other words, parents should validate feelings - not necessarily the teen's behavior.)

Parents should also serve as role models in the way they deal with stressful situations and traumatic events, in how they respond to other people, by not allowing abuse or violence in the home, and by not engaging in acts of self-harm.

Evaluation by a mental health professional may assist in identifying and treating the underlying causes of self-injury. A mental health professional can also diagnose and treat the serious psychiatric disorders that may accompany self-injurious behavior. Feelings of wanting to die or suicidal plans are reasons for parents to seek professional care for their child immediately.

next: Eating Disorder, Type 1 Diabetes a Dangerous Mix
~ eating disorders library
~ all articles on eating disorders

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). Eating Disorders: Self Injury, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/eating-disorders/articles/eating-disorders-self-injury

Last Updated: January 14, 2014

ADHD Tips for Time and Mood Management

For people with ADHD, ADD, tips for getting organized and better managing your time and moods.

ORGANIZATION & TIME MANAGEMENT

  1. Use a watch with an hourly alarm you can set to keep track of time.
  2. Make a specific place to leave your keys, when you come home.
  3. Make a list of what you want to accomplish each day, then pick the top 3 priorities.
  4. Be realistic about how long it will take get to places.
  5. Use sun glass straps, keys that clip to you, and fanny packs.
  6. Use an appointment book or calender to keep track of your schedule.

IMPULSIVENESS AND MOOD MANAGEMENT

  1. Take two breaths before you act or speak. (especially if you are angry)
  2. Allow your phone machine to pick up calls, so you can think before you call back.
  3. Write down thoughts if in a group or meeting, then pick only 2 or 3 to share.
  4. Practice listening without thinking about what you want to say.
  5. Remove yourself from the situation before or during a rage attack.
  6. Allow yourself to break away from negative thoughts and mood.
  7. Be aware of what may trigger your rage.
  8. Discuss with trusted friends or therapist before you make major life changes.

ATTENTION DIFFICULTIES

  1. Be aware of what distracts you, and make decisions if you want to stay focused.
  2. Acknowledge the areas in your life where you are able to sustain your attention.
  3. Look for occupations that are suited to your attention style.
  4. Allow yourself to take breaks when focusing on prolonged tasks.
  5. Let yourself hyperfocus on video games, T.V., exercise, recreation as a reward.
  6. Keep a tape recorder or note pad in your car to catch your ideas.

RESTLESSNESS

  1. Exercise when possible, (walking, running, working out, sports.)
  2. Allow yourself to move your body when you are thinking.
  3. Remember that you don't have to act on all of the thoughts that you have.
  4. Consider taking a vacation instead of moving, changing jobs or relationships.

ADHD MEDICATION

  1. Set a timer watch to go off as needed as a reminder to take medications.
  2. Keep medications and water by your bed or in bathroom so you can take it first thing. (Be careful if you have children)
  3. Talk with your doctor about the effects of mixing caffeine, alcohol, and other drugs with your medication.

About the author:Wendy Richardson M.A., MFT, CAS is a Licensed Marriage, Family Therapist, and Certified Addiction Specialist in private practice in Soquel, California. Wendy is the author of The Link Between ADD & Addiction, Getting the Help You Deserve, (1997), and When Too Much Isn't Enough, Ending the Destructive Cycle of AD/HD and Addictive Behavior (2005)


 


 

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 22). ADHD Tips for Time and Mood Management, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/adhd-tips-for-time-and-mood-management

Last Updated: May 6, 2019

A Great Admiration (Narcissism and Grandiose Fantasies)

To paraphrase what Henry James' once said of Louisa May Alcott, my experience of genius is small but my admiration for it is, nevertheless, great. When I visited the "Figarohaus" in Vienna - where Mozart lived and worked for two crucial years - I experienced a great fatigue, the sort that comes with acceptance. In the presence of real genius, I slumped into a chair and listened for one listless hour to its fruits: symphonies, the divine Requiem, arias, a cornucopia.

I always wanted to be a genius. Partly as a sure-fire way to secure constant narcissistic supply, partly as a safeguard against my own mortality. As it became progressively more evident how far I am from it and how ensconced in mediocrity - I, being a narcissist, resorted to short cuts. Ever since my fifth year, I pretended to be thoroughly acquainted with issues I had no clue about. This streak of con-artistry reached a crescendo in my puberty, when I convinced a whole township (and later, my country, by co-opting the media) that I was a new Einstein. While unable to solve even the most basic mathematical equations, I was regarded by many - including world class physicists - as somewhat of an epiphanous miracle. To sustain this false pretence, I plagiarized liberally. Only 15 years later did an Israeli physicist discover the (Australian) source of my major plagiarized "studies" in advanced physics. Following this encounter with the abyss - the mortal fear of being mortifyingly exposed - I stopped plagiarizing at the age of 23 and has never done so since.

I then tried to experience genius vicariously, by making friends with acknowledged ones and by supporting up and coming intellectuals. I became this pathetic sponsor of the arts and sciences that forever name drops and attributes to himself undue influence over the creative processes and outcomes of others. I created by proxy. The (sad, I guess) irony is that, all this time, I really did have a talent (for writing). But talent was not enough - being short of genius. It is the divine that I sought, not the average. And so, I kept denying my real self in pursuit of an invented one.

As the years progressed, the charms of associating with genius waned and faded. The gap between what I wanted to become and what I have has made me bitter and cantankerous, a repulsive, alien oddity, avoided by all but the most persistent friends and acolytes. I resent being doomed to the quotidian. I rebel against being given to aspirations which have so little in common with my abilities. It is not that I recognize my limitations - I don't. I still wish to believe that had I only applied myself, had I only persevered, had I only found interest - I would have been nothing less of a Mozart or an Einstein or a Freud. It is a lie I tell myself in times of quiet despair when I realize my age and compare it to the utter lack of my accomplishments.

I keep persuading myself that many a great man reached the apex of their creativity at the age of 40, or 50, or 60. That one never knows what of one's work shall be deemed by history to have been genius. I think of Kafka, of Nietzsche, of Benjamin - the heroes of every undiscovered prodigy. But it sounds hollow. Deep inside I know the one ingredient that I miss and that they all shared: an interest in other humans, a first hand experience of being one and the fervent wish to communicate - rather than merely to impress.

 


 

next: The Narcissist in Love - Emotionally Attached to Narcissism

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 22). A Great Admiration (Narcissism and Grandiose Fantasies), HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/a-great-admiration-narcissism-and-grandiose-fantasies

Last Updated: July 2, 2018

The Anxiety of Boredom - Most Worried When I Am Bored

I often find myself worried. I say "find myself" because it is usually unconscious, like a nagging pain, a permanence, like being immersed in a gelatinous liquid, trapped and helpless. Perhaps the phrase I am looking for is the DSM favourite "All-pervasive". Still, it is never diffuse. I am worried about specific people, or possible events, or more or less plausible scenarios. It is just that I seem to constantly conjure up some reason or another to be worried. Positive past experiences have not dissuaded me from this pre-occupation. I seem to believe that the world is a cruelly arbitrary, ominously contrarian, contrivingly cunning and indifferently crushing place. I know it will all end badly and for no good reason. I know that life is too good to be true and too bad to endure. I know that civilization is an ideal and that the deviation from it are what we call "history". I am incurably pessimistic, an ignoramus by choice and incorrigibly blind to evidence to the contrary.

Underneath all this is a Great Anxiety. I fear life and what people do unto each other. I fear my fear and what it does to me. I know I am a participant in a game whose rules I will never know and that my very existence is at stake. I trust no one, I believe in nothing, I know only two certainties: evil exists and life is meaningless. I am convinced that no one cares. I am a pawn without a chessboard with the chess players long departed. In other words: I float.

This existential angst that permeates my every cell is atavistic and irrational. It has no name or likeness. It is like the monsters in every child's bedroom with the lights turned off. But being the rationalizing and intellectualising cerebral narcissist that I am - I must instantly label it, explain it, analyse it and predict it. I must attribute this poisonous cloud that weighs on me from the inside to some external cause. I must set it in a pattern, embed it in a context, transform it into a link in the great chain of my being. Hence, diffuse anxiety become my focused worries. Worries are known and measurable quantities. They have a mover which can be tackled and eliminated. They have a beginning and an end. they are tied to names, to places, faces and to people. Worries are human - anxiety divine. I thus, transform my demons into notation in my diary: check this, do that, apply preventive measures, do not allow, pursue, attack, avoid. The language of human conduct in the face of real and immediate danger is cast as blanket over the underlying abyss that harbours my anxiety.

But such excessive worrying - whose sole intent is to convert irrational anxiety into the mundane and tangible - is the stuff of paranoia. For what is paranoia if not the attribution of inner disintegration to external persecution, the assignment of malevolent agents from the outside to the turmoil inside? The paranoid seeks to alleviate his voiding by irrationally clinging to rationality. Things are so bad, he says, mainly to himself, because I am a victim, because "they" are after me and I am hunted by the juggernaut of state, or by the Freemasons, or by the Jews, or by the neighbourhood librarian. This is the path that leads from the cloud of anxiety, through the lamp posts of worry to the consuming darkness of paranoia.

Paranoia is a defence against anxiety and against aggression. The latter is projected outwards, upon imaginary other, the agents of one's crucifixion.

Anxiety is also a defence against aggressive impulses. Therefore, anxiety and paranoia are sisters, the latter but a focused form of the former. The mentally disordered defend against their own aggressive propensities by either being anxious or by becoming paranoid.

Aggression has numerous faces. One of its favourite disguises is boredom.

Like its relation, depression, it is aggression directed inwards. It threatens to drown the bored in a primordial soup of inaction and energy depletion. It is anhedonic (pleasure depriving) and dysphoric (leads to profound sadness). But it is also threatening, perhaps because it is so reminiscent of death.

I find myself most worried when I am bored. It goes like this: I am aggressive. I channel my aggression and internalise it. I experience my bottled wrath as boredom. I am bored. I feel threatened by it in a vague, mysterious way. Anxiety ensues. I rush to construct an intellectual edifice to accommodate all these primitive emotions and their transubstantiations. I identify reasons, causes, effects and possibilities in the outer world. I build scenarios. I spin narratives. I feel no more anxiety. I know the enemy (or so I think). And now I am worried. Or paranoid.


 

next: A Great Admiration

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 22). The Anxiety of Boredom - Most Worried When I Am Bored, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/the-anxiety-of-boredom-most-worried-when-i-am-bored

Last Updated: July 2, 2018

The Split Narcissist - Unstable and Unpredictable and Deadly

That the Narcissist possesses a prominent False Self as well as a suppressed and dilapidated True Self is common knowledge. Yet, how intertwined and inseparable are these two? Do they interact? How do they influence each other? And what behaviours can be attributed squarely to one or the other of these protagonists? Moreover, does the False Self assume traits and attributes of the True Self in order to deceive?

Two years ago, I suggested a methodological framework. I compared the Narcissist to a person suffering from the Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) - formerly known as the "Multiple Personality Disorder" (MPD).

Here is what I wrote:

"A debate is starting to stir: is the False Self an alter? In other words: is the True Self of a narcissist the equivalent of a host personality in a DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) - and the False Self one of the fragmented personalities, also known as 'alters'?"

"My personal opinion is that the False Self is a mental construct, not a self in the full sense. It is the locus of the fantasies of grandiosity, the feelings of entitlements, omnipotence, magical thinking, omniscience and magical immunity of the narcissist. It lacks so many elements that it can hardly be called a 'self'."

"Moreover, it has no 'cut-off' date. DID alters have a date of inception, being reactions to trauma or abuse. The False Self is a process, not an entity, it is a reactive pattern and a reactive formation. All taken into account, the choice of words was poor. The False Self is not a Self, nor is it False. It is very real, more real to the narcissist than his True Self. A better choice would have been 'abuse reactive self' or something like this."

"This is the core of my work. I say that narcissists have vanished and have been replaced by a False Self (bad term, but not my fault, write to Kernberg). There is NO True Self in there. It's gone. The Narcissist is a hall of mirrors - but the hall itself is an optical illusion created by the mirrors ... This is a little like the paintings of Escher."

"MPD (DID) is more common than believed. The emotions are the ones to get segregated. The notion of 'unique separate multiple whole personalities' is primitive and untrue. DID is a continuum. The inner language breaks down into a polyglottal chaos. Emotions cannot communicate with each other for fear of the pain (and its fatal results). So, they are kept apart by various mechanisms (a host or birth personality, a facilitator, a moderator and so on)."

"And here we come to the crux of the matter: All PDs - except NPD - suffer from a modicum of DID, or incorporate it. Only the narcissists don't. This is because the narcissistic solution is to emotionally disappear so thoroughly that not one personality/emotion is left. Hence, the tremendous, insatiable need of the narcissist for external approval. He exists ONLY as a reflection. Since he is forbidden from loving his true self - he chooses to have no self at all. It is not dissociation - it is a vanishing act."

"This is why I regard pathological narcissism as THE source of all PDs. The total, 'pure' solution is NPD: self extinguishing, self abolishing, totally fake. Then come variations on the self hate and perpetuated self abuse themes:
HPD (NPD with sex or the body as the source of narcissistic supply), BPD (emotional lability, movement between poles of life wish and death wish) and so on.
Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago.
They are the true zombies of the world. Read vampire and zombie legends and you will see how narcissistic these creatures are."

Many researchers and scholars and therapists tried to grapple with the void at the core of the Narcissist. The common view is that the remnants of the True Self are so ossified, shredded, cowed into submission and repressed - that, for all practical purposes, they are functionless and useless. In treating the Narcissist, the therapist often tries to invent a healthy self, rather than build upon the distorted wreckage strewn across the Narcissist's psyche.

But what of the rare glimpses of True Self that the unfortunates who interact with Narcissists keep reporting?

If the pathological narcissistic element is but one of many other disorders - the True Self may well have survived. Gradations and shades of narcissism occupy the narcissistic spectrum. Narcissistic traits (overlay) are often co-diagnosed with other disorders (co-morbidity). Some people have a narcissistic personality - but NOT NPD! These distinctions are important.

A person may well appear to be a narcissist - but is not, in the strict, psychiatric, sense of the word.


 


In a full-fledged Narcissist, the False Self IMITATES the True Self.

To do so artfully, it deploys two mechanisms:

RE-INTERPRETATION

It causes the Narcissist to re-interpret certain emotions and reactions in a flattering, True Self-compatible, light. A Narcissist may, for instance, interpret FEAR - as compassion. If I hurt someone I fear (e.g., an authority figure) - I may feel bad afterwards and interpret my discomfort as EMPATHY and COMPASSION. To be afraid is humiliating - to be compassionate is commendable and earns me social acceptance and understanding.

EMULATION

The Narcissist is possessed of an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and put at the service of the narcissist's control freakery and sadism. The Narcissist uses it liberally to annihilate the natural defences of his victims by faking unprecedented, almost inhuman, empathy.

This capacity is coupled with the Narcissist's ability to frighteningly imitate emotions and their attendant behaviours. The Narcissist possesses "resonance tables". He keeps records of every action and reaction, every utterance and consequence, every datum provided by others regarding their state of mind and emotional make-up. From these, he then constructs a set of formulas which often result in impeccably and eerily accurate renditions of emotional behaviour. This is enormously deceiving.

The Narcissist is our first encounter with carbon-based artificial intelligence. Many wish it were the last.

 


 

next: The Anxiety of Boredom - Most Worried When I Am Bored

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 22). The Split Narcissist - Unstable and Unpredictable and Deadly, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/the-split-narcissist-unstable-and-unpredictable-and-deadly

Last Updated: July 2, 2018