Effective Listening Skills
Good listening skills make you a better communicator. Here are 21 ways to develop and enhance effective listening skills.
How to Show Good Listening Skills
Remember: Everyone wants to be heard, to feel "listened to" and understood.
- Express concern and desire to help
- Ask about feelings and thoughts
- Suspend judgment
- Try to develop trust (provide an environment of warmth and acceptance)
- Use a person's name
- Let the person know you are listening (attending behaviors):
- Communicate undivided attention; resist distractions
- Nod
- Paraphrase or repeat the essence of person's messages
- Agree when genuine
- Repeat or summarize main ideas ("facilitative listening")
- Listen "between the lines" for the underlying "feeling" message
- Empathize with and "reflect" their feelings ("I understand what you're saying." "I think I know what you're feeling." "I can understand that you're feeling angry; It must be very frustrating.")
- Acknowledge concerns and fears, without supporting misperceptions
- Discourage discussion of any delusion and focus on "here and now"
- Problem-solve (only when the person is ready)
- Explore ways (options) for the person to have their needs met
- Break down concerns into manageable problem-solving steps (non-judgmental, solution-oriented approach)
- "Brainstorm" together
- Try to provide a face-saving solution; explore acceptable compromises
- Do not:
- Argue
- Interrupt
- Scold or lecture
- Offer false reassurances
- Be overly logical and rational, or try to "fix" the problem before thoroughly understanding
- Trivialize the circumstances or feelings
- Try to convince them of their irrationality
- Overly challenge or confront
- Invade physical space
Body language (non-verbal behavior) communicates important messages. The following may be helpful in reducing others' anger and assisting an individual in calming themselves:
- Eye contact (not too intense)
- Interpersonal distance (not too close); Respect personal space; Do not move toward an agitated person
- Restrict body movement to a minimum; Minimize sudden behaviors
- Maintain an "open" position (do not cross arms or legs; hands unclenched)
- Maintain same eye level (sit or stand depending on student's position)
- Speak softly and reassuringly
APA Reference
Staff, H.
(2021, December 24). Effective Listening Skills, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, November 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/communicating/effective-listening-skills
Last Updated: February 11, 2022