Psychological Problems Related to Men With No Sex Drive

What are the psychological causes in men who don't want to make love?

Answer:

When talking about the psychological causes of not wanting sex, we refer to those thoughts, feelings or emotions that reduce the interest in sex. Because of fear and anger, sexual desire can disappear in certain situations. This may have several causes, e.g., fear of performance, fear of intimacy, fear of excitement, dissatisfaction with one's own body or suppression of events from childhood. Traumatic experiences can have a lot of influence on sexual desire. Sad experiences that haven't been dealt with, like the loss of a partner, nagging and conflicts in relationships can influence sexual desire negatively. Relational problems are often a cause.

For all sorts of reasons, partners may become physically and personally less attractive to each other. Differences in sexual needs and the refusal of partners to respond to advances can lead to doubts about the self-image of the man, the woman or the self-image as the beloved partner. Certain irrational thoughts, like refusing to have sex is the same as admitting an affair, can lead to a great disappointment or anger. A reduced interest in sex is also a frequent symptom of various psychiatric disorders. The most frequent one is depression.

Men and women experience sexual desire in a different way. Women see love, emotional intimacy and involvement as a goal, while men see sexual activity as the goal. Other factors can also negatively influence desire including psychological problems of the partner, stress and/ or relational problems. In the first meetings a sexologist will ask about these possible causes, so that your condition may be identified.

Written by: Wendy Moelker, psychologist in charge of Emergis, Goes, the Netherlands.