All This Sex Talk - You Must Want It, Right?

Do you like sex? I certainly do. I love how close sex can bring me to someone I care about, and I love how it can deepen my understanding and appreciation of that person. I love how much healthy pleasure it brings into my life. I love how sex can bring me to delightful altered states of consciousness, and I love the feelings of acceptance and contentment and trust it can create in me and my partner.

In fact, I love sex so much I've made a hobby of learning more about it. My site is going to share some of the insights I've gained as I've grown in my understanding of this fascinating and wonderful aspect of human experience.

I know there is a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding about sex. I'm 35 and I've been there. I remember my first sexual experience and how frightening that was. The boy I was in love with ripped off his pants in the front seat of his car and jumped me. Before both of us knew it, it was over. I'm talking less than one minute.

Then I went through a one-woman sexual revolution (age 22-26) of my own. It wasn't until I went through therapy as an adult, recovered my self-esteem and read some books on sex and intimacy, that I discovered what meaningful sex was all about. And yes, it does help to have a knowledgeable and talented lover...

... but there's more.

Don't you find it wonderful when a lover is really into what you two are doing together, and he or she seems actively, passionately, and completely absorbed in the pleasure you two are creating? Isn't it great when he or she is experiencing deep, overwhelming delight and directing that energy and appreciation back at you? It's a profound irony that one of the most effective things you can do to become a better lover is to learn to appreciate pleasure even more, but in my experience it's true. In my opinion, the three most important elements to becoming a better lover are learning to feel, choosing what pleases you, and empathy.

And that's what I emphasize in my site. Great sex isn't an orgasm. It's an experience!

Happy Lovemaking,



next: How to Have Good Sex Homepage

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 7). All This Sex Talk - You Must Want It, Right?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 13 from

Last Updated: May 2, 2016

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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