Receiving a borderline personality disorder (BPD) diagnosis can be both relieving and overwhelming. There was a name for this thing bubbling inside of me? Suddenly, my world made sense when I learned about BPD. Once my initial relief subsided, I was left with the same set of BPD symptoms and fears I’d always had. I thought I would share a few words of wisdom I wish had been passed to me when I first learned about my borderline personality disorder diagnosis.
More than Borderline
Myths about borderline personality disorder abound. Are we “crazy?” Are we “impossible?” Are we “doomed?” One of the main reasons I wanted to start writing and blogging about borderline personality disorder (BPD) was to address the stigma I’ve encountered as a woman living with this diagnosis out in the world. Today, I thought I would break down three of the most common myths about borderline personality disorder (BPD) I’ve encountered and my thoughts (as well as science’s) about each of them.
I’m Whitney Easton and I am grateful to be the new co-author of the HealthyPlace blog More Than Borderline. I am living with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and as the name of the blog would suggest, I am much more than a label or a diagnosis. I am a young woman with dreams and aspirations and I’m also a woman with a story and a past. I believe there is freedom in coming out from the darkness about my diagnosis. I look forward to hearing your experiences, too, in struggling with, and healing from, borderline personality disorder (BPD).
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can learn to manage panic attacks by using the five senses. If we can train ourselves to consciously and positively stimulate the five senses during emotional distress, we with borderline might manage panic attacks with more success (Mental Illness Can Overstimulate Your Brain).
Depressed borderlines can benefit from structure. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) and clinical depression often go hand in hand, causing life to be unbearable at times. Sometimes it is necessary to be hospitalized in a safe environment to receive treatment and to provide structure in daily life. I have required psychiatric hospitalization at times. With each hospital stay I am reminded of this most important coping skill for me. As a person with borderline, I must create structure daily to prevent hospitalizations.
Intense emotions and panic are hard to go through. As a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD), I have intense emotions all day, every day. It never stops. There is no complete relief. The best way for me to cope with feeling so emotionally charged is to distract myself with an activity. This could be cleaning, exercising, reading, watching television, playing and snuggling with my pets, cooking, listening to music, writing, or many other coping activities. I've come to realize that borderlines can deal with intense emotions and panic.
One well-known symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is emotional intensity, which appears to the rest of the world as drama. A good first step for someone just learning of a BPD diagnosis might be to learn how to engage an observer part of him/herself. In other words, we borderlines need to learn how to think and feel at the same time.
I have borderline personality disorder (BPD), and I usually cringe when I hear someone say, "Choose to be happy." First I feel angry at the whole world for not understanding me. After I realize that I'm being a victim and blaming others for my pain, I then shift the blame to myself. I punish myself, and think, "It's my fault I can't choose to be happy. Something is wrong with me. I'm defective. I'm not trying hard enough."
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) sometimes manipulate others to get the comfort or attention we need. Often, we don't even realize that we are being manipulative. Many of us never learned how to honestly ask for what we need or want. It starts with emotional pain. If we don't get the support we need in the midst of that pain, often feelings of anger arise, and we progress into new or worsening depression. Manipulation tactics then come into play, fueled by our anger that no one understands us. Manipulation in borderline personality disorder is important to understand.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often have issues with abandonment (Common Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms). Last week I terminated therapy with my therapist. I struggled with the decision, as I know that those of us with BPD sometimes blame others for our emotional pain. Therapists are frequently used, in acute stages of BPD, as the reason for all of our emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant. This can bring up abandonment issues for those with BPD.