In order to set boundaries, we have to believe we are worth having boundaries. We must believe that we have the right not to be violated. We must have the self-esteem to say no.

Even a bad decision has its usefulness! More Than Borderline's Becky Oberg talks about how bad decisions give us the experience to make good decisions.

You know how you sometimes have nightmares about monsters? Something like that happens to me. You know how the monsters lie to you? They lie to me, too, and sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I think that if I hurt myself, the monsters will leave me alone. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, but every time I hurt myself things get worse. I go to treatment--usually outside the hospital, but sometimes inside--to make sure the monsters don't win.

You may feel you have to compromise your deepest held beliefs in order to feel accepted. It is important to remember that if you aren't accepted as you are, you aren't really accepted. If you can't be yourself, you aren't really loved. Is that worth the cost? Is sacrificing your identity for people who want you to be someone else worth it?

Wanting to be in a romantic relationship is normal. But borderline personality disorder (BPD) can add difficulties and frustration to an already complicated situation. More Than Borderline's, Becky Oberg, offers advice on how to know if you're ready. Watch this video on borderline personality disorder and relationships.

I know of a lawsuit I would have paid a month's wages to watch Judge Judy handle. When I was a child, a student brought either cocaine or heroin to her elite private school. She was caught and expelled. However, the school had no written rules, which meant there was no formal drug policy. She sued, claiming she didn't know she couldn't bring drugs. To my knowledge, borderline personality disorder (BPD) was not a factor. However, this frivolous lawsuit is a perfect example of an attempt to avoid personal responsibility--one of the complications of BPD.