I have a confession to make--I'm not feeling the Christmas Spirit. This is especially disconcerting because my diagnosis of borderline personality disorder tells me I "should" feel a certain way. I should be happy, generous, loving, especially kind to people I've never met or don't like.  I should buy gifts for everyone dear to me.  I should single-handedly bail the post office out of bankruptcy by sending Christmas cards. But I don't, and I don't really care who knows it.  To be honest, I feel like Beck-anezer Scrooge--Bah, Humbug!  And that's okay.

I have two nephews, Des and Landon, that I dote on considerably. During Thanksgiving, I visited Landon at his parents' house, Landon wanted to show me everything ("Fish!  Tree!   Light!") and gave me one of his toys.  When I visited Des at my parent's house, I held out my arms and he screamed--he thought I was a stranger since I'm not around him every day. Two one-year-olds.  Two different phases of development. So what does this have to do with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Just as two one-year-olds may differ, so people with BPD may differ. There is no one way to have BPD.

It is important to know how to relax. Relaxation exercises can help treat symptoms of borderline personality disorder. More Than Borderline's Becky Oberg explains why relaxation is important and shares a few examples of how to do so.

You can be thankful in spite of a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It all comes down to a matter of perspective. Are you thankful for the little things, or do you even notice? Are you taking much of what you have to be thankful for for granted? What are you thankful for?

One of the problems with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is the ease with which we believe harmful core beliefs. It's as if we think that they are the insight of the century.  But believing something does not automatically make it true--not everything you think is trustworthy. Here are six steps to changing a harmful core belief.

You know how you sometimes have nightmares about monsters? Something like that happens to me. You know how the monsters lie to you? They lie to me, too, and sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I think that if I hurt myself, the monsters will leave me alone. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, but every time I hurt myself things get worse. I go to treatment--usually outside the hospital, but sometimes inside--to make sure the monsters don't win.

One of the symptoms of BPD is "transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms". That's a fancy way of saying that when a person with BPD is under a great deal of stress, he or she can dissociate. He or she experiences an "altered state of consciousness characterized by partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s normal conscious or psychological functioning", as Wikipedia puts it. Translation: detachment or distancing from reality.

Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have experienced traumatic events. Recently, my therapist and I decided to work on some of the trauma I've faced in my life. Short version: it didn't go well. I began having horrific flashbacks, strong urges to self-injure, and was irritable. We agreed that we should stop talking about the trauma for a while and focus on mastering coping skills. It took me a while to realize it's not a failure on my part. Sometimes, the healing process can do more harm than good.

"The first step to taking control of your anger is to tell yourself, and keep telling yourself, I'm okay," writes Matsakis. "All that's happening to me is that I'm feeling angry. All I have to do with my nager today is feel it. I can figure out later what to do about it. All I have to do now is ride with it. If I can just feel the anger without hurting myself or someone else, I am a success."

The stigma attached to mental illness is powerful because of ignorance.  But is living openly with mental illness in an effort to change the stigma a good idea?  More Than Borderline's Becky Oberg considers this.