What Is the Difference Between Mania and Hypomania?
One of the main differences between bipolar I and bipolar II is that bipolar II experiences hypomania and not mania. Last week, I wrote from the perspective of a hypomanic mind, but what is hypomania really? Is hypomania fun or is it just plain crazy?
In type I bipolar, a defining characteristic is mania. Mania symptoms include:
- Abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood
- Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
- Decreased need for sleep
- More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
- Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
- Increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation
- Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequence
In order for the mood to be considered manic, these symptoms must cause “marked impairment in... functioning... or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.”
It’s that last part that’s really key; mania must be severe and result in danger to yourself, others, relationships, employment, etc, typically leading to hospitalization.
For bipolar II we experience hypomania, which I like to call mania-light. All the crazy with half the impairment. It includes symptoms like:
- A distinct period of persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood
- Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
- Decreased need for sleep
- More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
- Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
- Increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation
- Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences
The mood must also be unusual for the individual and noticeable by others. And now the important part, “the episode is not severe enough to cause marked impairment in... functioning, or to necessitate hospitalization, and there are no psychotic features."
Diagnostically, mania must be at least seven days whereas hypomania has to be at least 4 days.
(Other complexities like mixed-moods and rapid cycling aren’t discussed here.)
Mania vs. Hypomania
So if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll note that the symptoms of mania and hypomania are virtually identical, the key differentiation is the severity. Mania is very dangerous because people don’t just act abnormally; they typically endanger themselves or vital parts of their lives. Mania often requires hospitalization due to the damage they are doing. Hypomania, on the other hand, may be an unusual mood, and it may cause some harm to the person or their lifestyle, but not to the point where they need to be hospitalized. People in hypomania buy five pairs of shoes, people in a mania buy 50.
Is Hypomania Fun?
So, if hypomania doesn’t get you hospitalized, and doesn’t severely endanger your life, is it fun? Well, it depends on who you ask.
Some people say hypomania is enjoyable, happy, fun and the only break they get from their depression. Some people feel they’re more like the person they were before bipolar disorder than at any other time. They’re also fun to be around, creative and are social butterflies at that time. Oh, and the sex tends to be really good too. So, yes, some people really enjoy hypomania and find it fun.
On the other hand, some people get extremely irritable and even angry during hypomanic phases. They become very dissociative and disconnected from the world around them. They feel constantly bombarded by thoughts they can’t control and obsessed with fragments of music or literature that repeats endlessly in their mind. They feel possessed and like they’re being crushed by a very fast, very powerful outside force they can’t control. This is not in the least bit fun.
I Prefer Hypomania
If I got to choose between mania, hypomania, and depression, I'd pick hypomania. True, I do feel awfully crazy and disconnected from the world when going through it, and true, the obsessive thoughts are tormenting, but the energy is such a great change of pace from the depression that I’ll take it any day. I’m more creative, can put more energy into achieving goals, and just plain get more done.
But that’s a personal thing.
Tracy, N. (2021, December 28). What Is the Difference Between Mania and Hypomania?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, May 18 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2010/08/what-is-the-difference-between-mania-and-hypomania
Author: Natasha Tracy
"Is hypomania fun or is it just plain crazy?"
"hypomania, which I like to call mania-light. All the crazy with half the impairment."
The use of the word "crazy" in relationship to mental illness is sort of like calling calling a gay man the "F" word or calling a black person the "N" word. It is offensive and unprofessional. This adds to the stigma of mental illness which prevents many from seeking treatment. If your goal is to help, check yourself and your languaging.
Thank you for your comment.
I understand your concern however, I would suggest it's nothing like the words you denote with letters. Those are specific epithets. "Crazy" is just a regular word with a definition that you find in the dictionary. It is not hate speech. You would never find me engaging in hate speech against any group.
As for the word "crazy," I have come out in favor of it many times. I have bipolar disorder and I choose the words that I use to describe my own experiences. You may choose different words, and that's okay. Not everything I write speaks to every person but the word "crazy" does, indeed, speak to many people.
PS: I have been writing about bipolar disorder for 19 years now and have done more to quell mental illness stigma than most people on the planet combined.
- Natasha Tracy
Thank you so much for posting this; I know it's a while later but I found what you shared to be very helpful. I'm a Certified Professional Counselor & my supervisor gave her interns a homework assignment to look up various diagnosis; mine was BPII Hypomanic in full remission. This blog helped a lot :-)
I was diagnosed with Bipolar II a few weeks ago and have struggled with the diagnosis since. I'm 50 but wonder if I haven't had it since a teenager, maybe just not as bad. I don't know, still figuring it out. I agree I prefer the hypomania to the depression, but I tend to spend too much money and had an affair or two, not good choices, not an excuse, it's what I do. Another issue during these times is the pretend world I live in. I function, cooking dinner, washing clothes, etc, but I'm not doing it for my household, but the pretend household in my mind, so when my husband speaks to me I get super irritated because the pretend world is interrupted and I get angry. I withdraw from reality even more. This is so crazy, but it's me. The meds are helping a good bit, but the pretend world creeps in at night mostly. The doc upped my dose to try to help that. Sorry for going on and on, I started typing and couldn't stop. I really appreciate your article, I know it's several years old, but still applicable. I keep having questions about this diagnosis and search for answers. I still don't get the answer I started looking for, but I find great articles from folks suffering through this also. Much appreciated.
It helps to have a close friend or partner who has the emotional stability and healthy boundaries, to help you monitor and feed back to you.
what is Hypomania in adults
I'm not sure what you mean. Hypomania in adults is as described in the article.
- Natasha Tracy
I like my hypomanias but what goes up must come down. I also tend to do damage with my finances.
If there were no consequences I would choose hypomania, otherwise I would choose nothing. If there were consequences I would rather sit on a chair and stare at the wall.
Hypomania makes me a toxic animal but it's the best of the 3 worlds. Sure I can be productive as long as i can maintain my focus. Usually though I don't have any focus. Long ago before my diagnosis I thought I had ADHD.
Like most people, I would never choose depression. Probably obvious why.
I would also never choose mania because it is the most destructive state of mind ever created. I literally did not care about anything important in my life. I abandoned it all and chased pleasure and visions. It's hard to think about even now.
Sorry, didn’t quite understand the format, but has anyone been prescribed Tramadol for depression. It seems to work really well but then it makes you pretty hypo at times, or adds to pre-existing undiagnosed ‘mania’ of some sort. It really saves me from the depresion but then I either isolate in a sort of deluded state or am very up, helpful and aware but with the negative aspects as well. Everyone sounds very sincere here and I don’t think my docs have a clue. I use Xanax for sleep and panic.
Gosh, I really feel the hypomanic, and it starts when I am off of my addictive behavior (computer related) for 2+ weeks at a time. Once Im off all overly stimulating things, my energy levels start to rise rise rise, and I'm definitely hypomanic, with an abundance of energy and creativity, "the guy" who is telling all the jokes and keeping people engaged.
But what happens is then I start to become unable to sleep, I get more irritable, more risk-taking starts to occur, then I either isolate (or somehow that happens cause I can't find anyone else in that state to vibe with), or I do something addictive/compulsive which brings my energy back down, into a depression typically.
Its tough, because I do like the hypomanic states, but overtime it wears me out/thin and I eventually fall.
I really don't know what to do. Something that has been helping has been taking sunflower lecithin, which contains natural sources of choline and inositol, both good for balancing bi-polar depression, and liquid ionic trace minerals, containing iodine and naturally occurring lithium, omega-3's to balance depression, and I make my own coconut kefir which has bacteria in it that can apparently modulate different neurotransmission systems in the brain (gut-brain access). These supplements, combined with high-intensity cardio exercise, 3x 3-min on @ 90% with 1 minute breaks in between, and doing a focus meditation - starting at one singular small object across the room without breaking eye contract and remaining completely still for 20-45 minutes. I pick a leaf on a plant.
The above protocols have served as the best methods I've found to help "manage" bipolar depression. I don't think it can be ever cured, but I do believe it can be managed through some protocols and efforts. Hypomanic is not the worst state to be in, but if it starts to escalate, the car can come off the rails real fast, in my experience.
I see that this is an older post, but deal with hypomania four times a year. For me as someone who was diagnosed BP1 25 years ago, I welcome not having the depressions. However, my cyclical hypomanias cause me to have to take medicines that affect my ability to drive. I also get very irritable such as with noises or people I feel judgment toward. My husband doesn't understand why my Dr. and I can't better control it. (If I don't take meds, I get only 5 hrs. of sleep) So no, hypomania is only fun for about the first week....after 8 weeks, you want your life back.
What do u take to sleep
Hi, I feel really silly writing on a random website ...But I really don't have anyone to really talk to ..I haven't been diagnosed. But I'm not sure what's going on with me....I've internalized stress my entire life. For the last few years I've been struggling with insomnia, mood swings, sadness....I don't know ...I feel stupid ....Some days I'm soooo happy but it never sticks ...By the end of each day I'm sad ....I have two young children so I cover up a lot...Whatever is going on is getting worse.. I snap at people...I get EXTREMELY angry to where I want to really hurt someone else...And I'll have these outrageous thoughts that are UNHEALTHY ...The scary part is ...When I'm in these phases I don't care for consequences...If I feel attacked then I'm instantly attacking back ...But I'm more so going for the kill...When I'm like that I have no emotions ..No feeling...Sometimes it's feels like I have no heartbeat. I'm naturally hyper....But then I have days or even sometimes weeks where I'm just numb....I won't eat...I hardly would speak...Then I'm mean to my children when I'm in this phase ...And it hurts me....? ...I use to have answers for everything or if not an answer I would have a resolution...But now ...I'm so lost...Confused...Scared...Nervous...Angry...Sad alllllllllll mixed in one...I have really bad anxiety attacks to where I can't breath....I just don't know what to do as I can't lose myself because then my babies would t have a mother and they need me ...Help me please
I'm sorry you're feeling that way. It must hard to deal with all of that plus a family, too. You need to reach out for help. You need to see a doctor or therapist or both.
Please see our list of resources for places to start: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
Keep in mind, you can call the LifeLine (number at the above link) anytime, day or night and you do not have to be suicidal. They can also point you towards local resources.
You can feel better, but you need help.
- Natasha Tracy
Hello I actually started going through this a year ago. It just hit me one day and I went into a bad depression. All because of my thoughts. They were thoughts that I would never even think of and they wouldn't stop playing over in my head. I would wake up every morning at 4 am for no reason and it would start all over again. My doctor said I have depression. But I recently got off my medication and I noticed that my moods will change. One minute I'm fine the next I couldn't stand anyone around me, then I started buying stuff on impulse. Like I bought probably 10 pairs of shoes then would take them back if I felt it didn't fit right. I was in the stores everyday buying stuff then returning it. I felt like a crazy person. Now I'm going through the depression again but my doctor did put me back on my medicine. I'm just wandering should I be checked for bipolar disorder instead of depression?
It's never a bad idea to be checked for bipolar disorder as it can often be misdiagnosed as depression. If you're seeing your GP (family doctor) you may wish to get a referral to a psychiatrist for a formal diagnosis.
- Natasha Tracy
I've been trying to figure out for years if I'm depressed because I'll go through weeks where I'm extremely happy and fun and I want to go out and do stuff with my friends and then there will be days that I'm really sad and everytime I get in my car I want to run it into a wall and kill myself. Also the times that I'm really happy I feel like I'm living in a movie and I feel like it can't be real. Anything can make me sad and depressed but I hide it from my family and friends last night I couldn't sleep because I was having an anxiety attack for no reason it's gotten worse ever since I turned 18 and a realize now that I'm probably bipolar after reading about it more and also my grandmother had bipolar disorder really badly. The thing is I know I need to see a therapist but I don't know how to tell my mother I've been crying all day for no reason I just got off of my happy high last night and I just started school and I don't want it to affect my future.
Hi Filania. There are many possible reasons for you to be feeling like this. I would definitely advise you to seek professional help to get an assessment and figure out what could be causing these symptoms. If it is Bipolar or something else that's serious, leaving it untreated means it'll get worse and worse and harder to treat. If you've been suicidal before you know how easy it is to do something that you might later regret, and sometimes people get stuck with tricky health problems like liver and kidney damage because of a moment of impulsivity. You owe it to yourself to get it checked out and make sure you're on top of your health. Most people get better and there's lots of different treatments nowadays, not all of them even involve medication. So don't be afraid to ask and see what they have to suggest. In the UK and most of Europe there are free mental health services you can access. Ask your regular doctor or call a helpline and ask what's available. If in the UK, google or call 111 to see what your nearest IAPT service is and they can help you for free.
I haven't been diagnosed and haven't tried to go seek professional help because of some money problem, but I keep having mood swings, at times I'm really happy, and hyped without a reason, I keep smiling and laughing for hours without any reason (yes, even when I'm all alone I'll still laugh at nothing), and I tend to be more creative, I could write thousands poem that somehow very sad, and I can't stop moving around, dancing and singing and sometimes do extreme things such as smoking (i'm underage) and other things. But the next 1 or 2 days I'll feel extremely sad, have no desire to live, feel really depressed, avoid people, sleep alot, feel really really weak and empty. I've tried to kill myself a few times and I also self-harm (cutting, hitting myself etc,)
I thought its just some stress but over 3years this had gotten worst and worst, to the point I felt like I can't do this anymore, cause really I'm so tired of feeling really happy and then really depressed
Am I bipolar or is this another things? Or am I just crazy or really stressed?
Please don't harm yourself, I just dealt with a
Suicide in the family, I wish you could see what it does to the lives of people around you. You may have bi-polar, if you are underAge urge your parents to take you For help...there's no shame in that. I went through a state of mania and depression but I started to repair and heal. It's almost like an addiction, your never going to just wake up one day and be cured. Every day you have to put in effort, take it one day at a time. Just WIN THE DAY! ?
i am not sure what i have is either hypomania or mania r depression or bipolar but i do tend to have these scary thoughts about death, and things that did't even happen yet or will never happen. it is like episodes of tv shows in my head, it kept flowing in and each passing day i got more scared. even one day, i got my study tour to one of the most beautiful city on my country with the rest of my classmates at university, i was hyped, very excited, i couldnot shut up the whole trip, i move around in the bus while everyone was asleep, i talked to the driver and i kept doing things, but then the next day the hype decreased i felt slowly sad, and irritated by everyone around me, i started to being silent by thounsand thoughts runnin in my head. then at one moment, i broke down, i cried, i sobbed, with no apparent reason, i just cried, i felt very sad, lonely, and hurt. in my head all i know was pain, cheating, and misunderstood, i felt so distant with everybody. is that even normally? and i think now it's gettin worse, not the fun part tho but the bad part. i keep having thoughts that aren't even mine. i talked to my self like i was talking to another person, it was kinda scary. am i crazy?
What you describe, to me ( bipolar II), sounds very much like my experience of hypomania. Please consult a doctor to see if more stabilizers might help in your situation. I wish you the very best.
What you describe, to me ( bipolar II), sounds very much like my experience of hypomania. Please consult a doctor to see if mood stabilizers might help in your situation. I wish you the very best.
What are the most common triggers of hypomania?
I mean I've been dating her for 1.5 years
How do you diagnose hypomania or bipolar 2... I think my girlfriend has it.( Dating . ( her sister who is normal think so too) her mother is schizophrenia and grandfather is bipolar.. but she is in total denial of being bipolar stating that a therapist diagnosed her with complex ptsd wig panic disorder.. because her dad was an alcoholic n he wasn't there so much for her..but there are things that are highly questionable.. I am a nurse .. But not an expert psych patients ..however her actions look like this.. she has few bouts of depression crying at times, she admitted to flight of ideas, very creative as she paints, makes clothes , sometimes she has many ideas but does not finish them she talks fast especially when she meets new people .. she takes over the conversation, she used to be hyersexual in the past .. she has since slowed down ( she been to sex addiction classes before) , but now and at times would say some off the wall stuff that has nothing to do with conversation, like tell people she knows pornstars when people don't care. She is taking peroxitine for gen anxiety . She is very smart however she many degrees n is about to be a lawyer..but also has a degree in Buisness n photography.. please help!
My hpomania, which occurred only three times, is VERY lite. I'm naturally euthymic, have been all my life. So hypomania is not that much of an upgrade and does not seem so different. Either that or I've been hypomanic for 60 or so years. It's the depressions that are a nightmare. The distinctive difference I noticed only the last time between hypomania and euthymia is "push." There is something subtley driving it inside that I am not doing, not me. It's chemicals. (I'm organic bipolar.) The process is not really all that unpleasant but I'm very sensitive to being pushed around, which I can't abide. If I just calm myself though its power is lost.
How does this mania/hypomania criteria fit in rapid cycling? I experience hypo/mania but it's so quick I'm wondering if it's actually mania at all
Am a nigerian, i have most of these symptoms you stated...i was researching when i came across this.(yes,i do heavy researching when i go manic) i can relate to at least one thing everyone of you have said. I haven't been diagnosed, i don't wanna be diagnosed, don't think i should be daignosed. Maybe am just depressed and in self denial. But it isnt that bad. Maybe its just my current situation of things and it could get better.. Oh, here i am talking too much.
I would just like to bring to light the fact that each person facing bipolar is effected specifically, not generally. As a bipolar community we should be understanding of lethargic or "lazy" tendencies, just as we are of heightened creativity, sexuality, addictions, and self-grandiosity. One thing I have learned is not to belittle my feelings, or compare my personal struggles and shortcomings, to that of another. IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. Even when life seems bad, and struggles seem larger than life, God is good, God is bigger than bipolar. Bipolar quite literally has it's ups and downs, but it is not who I am. It is part of my experience here on Earth. No matter where you are at, there is hope. If you do not know Christ, know that at this very moment He is your biggest advocate, loving you purely and unconditionally in every moment. Whether you are smoking yourself stupid as I did for years, or you are holding in a multitude of inexplicable emotions threatening to suffocate your soul, you are not alone. None of us were meant to fight this war alone.
I have rapid cycling bipolar 1, and was thought to be schizophrenic at the height of my first manic episode. I empathize with all who are facing bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. You are not alone.
I'm 33 gone through exactly the same experience!
My email is email@example.com if u want to chat
I live with Bipolar II disorder and an anxiety disorder. Both have become so crippling that I had to leave my high paying job, give up my home and essentially 'exist' in a rented and run-down apartment on disability income. I've been on more meds than I can recall. I've lost count of the psychiatrists and therapists I've seen since I was a teenager. I'm now 45.
I look forward to every hypomania episode with relish! It's the only time I feel like I'm a halfway normal human being. I enjoy music, cooking, reading, socializing and yes, even sex when I have an episode. When it ends I crawl back in bed, a dark cloud engulfs me, I talk to no one, I feel pain and hopelessness and my thoughts are muddied. Until the next episode I stave off the strong desire to end this life. My only hope is waiting for those few days of happiness. Yes, give me hypomania any day!
I have bipolar 1 but with meds I am down to just depression and hypomania. I love and hate hypomania. I love the energy, the creativity, and the sheer productivity. I even get started on one project and exclude everything but that project. It is great unless you forget to do little things like eat.
The problem is that it is expensive (not as much as full blown mania) and I end up with a mixed episode every time at the end of the cycle before dropping down into depression. That last part truly is frustrating.
But I love hypomania, even with all its faults. Now if I could just get back to eating and not being so hyper-focused on writing my book that I don't get anything else done.
I've often wondered if my diagnosis of bipolar 2 three years ago was correct. Thanks to everybody's input here, I'm certain it was! I'm in the midst of a hypomanic episode and loving how productive I am with a super-clean House, and about ten creative projects on the go.
Not so keen on the two hours' sleep at night or the continual spending and having to hide all my purchases from my husband. Love the buzz I get from spending...
I'd pick hypomania over the crippling depression any day.
Hate that out-of-control feeling though when everybody irritates me and I can barely control my frustration and anger at them. I totally agree with the person who said they can't abide others' "laziness". When I'm in this state I just can't understand why they are so unmotivated!
Thanks for everybody's comments. Nice to know we have our own standards of normal haha
I experience hypomania, rage, and depression. The depression used to effect me in such a way that I wouldn't get off the couch for a week, shower, brush my teeth even!! I'd often lose my job as I would just stop going. That part has subsided over the years. I see small glimpses of it here and there but I try to be fully aware and cognizant of it so as not to "allow" it to get to that point.
What I struggle with now mostly is the hypomania and becoming enraged at things most people might just throw a curse word or 2 at. For me, the hypomania is a problem... yes I am EXCESSIVELY motivated.. but I mostly just draw out all "blueprints" for my ideas and then after about a week or 2 completely lose interest. Then I feel like a failure because I can't "complete" anything. It's horrible!! I also go into a sexual "overdrive".... I can't get enough and honestly it's not even that satisfying... it's just something I want until I actually get it. Then there's excessive drinking and spending.... I spend money I know goes somewhere else and I somehow justify the purchase to myself..knowing full well I shouldn't be spending. I often feel like I'm being pulled mentally in 100 different directions and it's exhausting.
Hyper mania is great, but burnout is inevitable. The problem with hyper mania is the time commitments you make, they are simply not feasible. My choice which has worked well for me is medication and to evaluate the medication every 3 months. If I am hyper manic or in any other state it is re-assuring to know I can turn to my Dr and I need not explain or be judged. I also trust them and listen to what they have to say and take corrective action.
I will never be "normal" and nor do I want to be. I just need to be conscience of how I behave and ask for help when I need it.
I have lived with Bipolar Disorder 1 for the last twenty-five years. I studied my disorder and all meds. I am so stable that I have lost the party called hypomania. Only twenty-five hospitalizations of that, only 3 stomachpumpings.
My pdoc allowed me to help with med selection. LithiumTegretolNXanax. Mania gets hospitalization. Is this a fluff piece that doesn't allow mention of the reality of bonafide Bipolar 1's?
I think the depression is the tough side of bipolar,being type 2 seemingly the depressions are worse.i just hope the medication im on or is being changed to to will take effect soon,its last august when i started on it...
Man i cant honestly can't tell if im manic or hypomanic right now u just wish mytder eas a option toh knowwhat lige igs du ch a dhchi pltpk fovl jist kry.mr
Govmoj f dIJF
I witnessed my son go thru "hypo mania". Unlike you all, he doesn't have insight and therefore won't talk to anyone snout what's going on with him becuz he believes there is nothing wrong.
He has no motivation to move forward productively with his life. He does attend the gym often but won't exercise only jacuzzi. Refuses to go to doctor if dentist or talk to a counselor or psychiatrist. He never wants to go back to see a psychiatrist again because "they ask stupid questions and nothing is wrong with me".
There are two books you may wish to look up to help in this situation:
I'm Not Sick I Don't Need Help: https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Mental-Illness-Treatment-Anniversary/dp/0967718937/ref=sr_…
You Need Help: https://www.amazon.com/You-Need-Help-Step-Step/dp/1616491485/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&q…
I'm not endorsing either of these books but they may help.
- Natasha Tracy
Oh give me hypomania any day.i feel depressed since last september and was hospitalised in october.Out of hospital a few weeks and am impatient to feel well again.its debilitating.im out of work the last while and im both nervous and frightened of going back.im frightened of my capability,my interest level.i just want to get on with life.stop feeling this way.im frightened to hope for better in case things dont get better.....
I take advanced Q96 from qscience.com. It cuts out my way highs and way lows. I think MOORE logical and handle stress better. My family can tell if I skip a dose, which is normally the third dose.
I tend to stay on the hypomania side and absolutely love it because I am MOORE creative and get MOORE done. I am a full-time music teacher and then I work on a soap business in the evenings while tending my family, and then I work a weekend job to keep me busy. I am scared to not be busy because that's when the depression hits. Thank goodness I believe in sex with my spouse only, but he feels used because I want sex all the time and he started to actually complain. So, then I go on spending sprees and have to control wanting to speed way over the limit, if I don't take my pills right. I hate taking the third dose because I like the hypomania stage. I get MOORE creative grandios ideas. I also am very good with music, crafts, and sewing. I set goals and get them done. I also have a Bachelor's degree and am looking to work on my Masters in Music. I am very good at anything I put my mind to. I don't relate to lazy people, slackers, and people who are slobs. I also love to manipulate people, especially men with whom I personally hate but need. Hard to explain. I like to play the you can look but not touch game. I live in my own little world and it gets lonely because my husband has prostate cancer and I need sex but can't have it. I'm afraid to masterbate because I have a no stop button and I won't have sex out of marriage because I love God MOORE than my worldly desires. I don't relate to the other women because they are worried about their husbands around me, which they shouldn't because I hate men in general and am only a one man woman. My husband is the lucky man. Plus, most women I know bore me because they don't set high goals, don't care how they look and all they talk about is food, recipes or gossip. I am definitely MOORE creative. I walk the walk I talk, I don't just talk it. I love my hypomania spells, it gives me high energy and MOORE creations. Check out cmooreinspiration, cmooremusic, cmooresoap, and Carol Louise Moore.
I doubt anyone will read all this anyways. I am also not vain, I'm just stating facts. And, I talk MOORE when in the hypo stage, like now. The problem is there is no filter and I say too much and scare people away. So, I am scared to talk to people because of it. Hence why I decided to vent here in my search to understand myself better. I just focus on my music, soap and craft creations to keep me out of trouble. I don't have the bad thoughts anymore with the Q96 pills and I feel like I can be me.
I absolutely loathe my hypomania, if indeed that's what I have. I was diagnosed BP2 6 years ago, but I never ever have elevated moods other than agitation or pure blind rage. I cycle through depression, then the rages. Anybody else not have the "better" elements of hypomania? I don't feel good, no desire for sex, no feelings of grandiosity, just anger.
To Lynn, I have been on many different Meds to find what finally halfway stabilized me. What I wanted to share with you is about the rages I would have. My dad also had them. I learned that antidepressants caused hypomania, but 2.5 mil. Of lexapro stopped the rages. So I have to believe there is some kind of chemical imbalance happening. I was very surprised when this worked. I tried stopping that small dose and the rage returned. I am very sensitive to Meds so I don't have to take high doses. I hope this gives you some hope because I know how destructive the rages can be.
I'm Bipolar 2. Neither depression or hypomania are good. I've had periods of depression where I can't leave my house. I stop functioning. Hypomania leads to self-destructive behavior as hyper sexuality is part of my cycle. The better route for me is mood stabilizers. It takes work to find the right meds. I did enter an intensive out patient program for 5 weeks.
It changed my life.
I didn't know until now that hypomania existed; all of my episodes have been labeled manic in the 6 years I've had them, and yet clearly all but a few have been hypomania.
I am deeply afraid of mania. I would choose anything over it, sometimes even death.
Hypomania, however, feels better than stability. It feels like me before I ever experienced derision.