I Hate the Mentally Ill - My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil
I like my job. I get to write for a living which is something many writers don't get to do. And moreover, I get to write about things that matter to me. Also a great luxury for many writers. These are pleasures as are the vast majority of people I get to meet.
I do have the great displeasure, though, of seeing vehement hatred for those with a mental illness. People who hate show up here, on my blog and elsewhere. People with a hatred for bipolar disorder seem to seek places to express their hatred.
But hatred of the mentally ill is simply another prejudice. Hatred of people with bipolar is the same as racism and just as unacceptable.
People with Bipolar Are Selfish, Whiny, Childish Monsters
No one in their right mind would say, "All [people of race] are selfish, whiny, childish monsters."
They wouldn't say that because it isn't true and it's outlandish to think, let alone say. People of any race are individuals and thus are all different. Enlightened people understand painting them all with any brush is inaccurate, insulting and quite frankly just plain wrong.
It's exactly the same for those with a mental illness. Suggesting all people with bipolar are selfish, whiny, childish monsters (and I have heard much worse) is ridiculous. I am none of those things. I'm a grab-bag of traits, much like everyone else. Except I have an illness.
Why do People Hate those with Bipolar?
There is generally one reason why people hate those with a mental illness: they have had bad experiences with them in the past. And for whatever cockamamie reason, they have generalized that experience onto everyone with bipolar disorder. And for some reason they don't see the ludicrousness of that behavior.
My Ex Was Bipolar; She Was Evil
Lots of these people have bipolar ex-significant others. And some hate their ex-others. Perhaps for good reason; I couldn't say. But here's the thing:
- You fell in love with that person at some point and married/had kids with/lived with them, so there really is something good there somewhere.
- People hate their ex-others. It has nothing to do with bipolar and everything to do with being an ex.
People also think "men are bad," because of a bad divorce, or "women are conniving," or what have you. Not because of anything intrinsic to the gender but because divorces/breakups are nasty, ill-fated, legally acrimonious affairs.
Unfortunately, when one party has a mental illness the other party often feels perfectly justified in dumping the ills of the world at the feet of the illness. And then at the feet of everyone else with the illness.
Your Bipolar Ex Might Have Been Evil
I have no idea who you were married to, and they may have been the worst person on the planet. In fact, their illness may have made their life and yours a living hell. That person may have needed help and refused it. That person may have done horrible things and blamed it on their disease. That person may have hurt those and those you love. Quite possible.
But that's not about being bipolar, that's about the individual.
I will accept this illness makes people unpredictable and challenging, like many illnesses. I will accept the fact being with a person with an illness (any illness) is hard. I will accept that we hurt people, and sometimes that hurt has to do with bipolar disorder.
I will not, however, accept any insult you want to throw at me simply because I have the same diagnosis as a person you know. I will not allow you to tell me how I am or who I am. I will not accept your prejudice and I will not accept your hatred.
Enjoy Your Hate
You can hate whomever you like. It's a free country. But do it in front of me at your own risk. I do not buy your nonsense and to me, you are no better than a racist. Go find another place to play. Because I won't let you unabashedly hurt others just because you have been hurt.
Tracy, N. (2011, July 7). I Hate the Mentally Ill - My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, October 4 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/07/i-hate-the-mentally-ill-my-ex-was-bipolar-and-she-was-evil
Author: Natasha Tracy
I was married to woman for 18 years that struggled with depression and bipolar 2 issues. I am a hardworking dedicated guy that put everything I had into supporting her and making her happy. We had two kids together. She went on Zoloft and it seemed to change her personality completely. She went from a Christian to a agnostic. She was unfaithful abandoned and divorced me and broke up our family. You have a up hill battle and cannot control their evil behavior. You, if your a good person are sorry and can blame yourself. Do not do this. There was no logic lr reasoning with her.. I wish no one the evil loss and pain that can be caused by this horrible mental illness.
I lived 18 years with my wife who has bipolar 2. The mood swings, depression , total unreasonable mind set. Manic spending. Agitated all the time. I endured it all because I loved her and believed in keeping my marriage vows.. She left the Christian faith and became what most people would consider a monster.. I still endured and tried to make her happy. She ended up divorcing me , and broke up our family. This is a serious medical condition that most people don’t have a clue with what evil with no remorse these people are capable of. The medication zolft was what eventually destroyed any hope of saving our marriage. She became just a crazed person with No right from wrong. I am not saying all people with bp are like this . It is sadly what I endured.
Bipolar is insidious if you are in a relationship with a bipolar person literally run for your life.
Myex is currently threatening my life refuses to get help and is acting like Eileen wournos take my advice do whatever it takes to get free
I'm so sorry you're going through that. I hope you get out of that situation as soon as possible.
I just want to mention that the behavior you're talking about doesn't necessarily have anything to do with bipolar disorder. People without mental illness also have been known to act that way. Certainly, threatening someone's life is not part of this disorder.
-- Natasha Tracy
Absolutely disgusting to compare hatred for bipolar to racism. People have been called names, denied human rights, brutalised, enslaved, tortured & even killed in the name of racism. People with bipolar on the other hand cause great suffering & misery to those around them, and on top are given a free pass to do so. You cannot help the colour of your skin, however you can help your behaviour. And if the urge to lie, steal, manipulate or be violent is too strong to control, it’s because you’re an inherently evil person.
Hello, My name is yurikoo.
I have stage one bipolar mental disorder, I don't mind people hating bipolars and stuff.
You deserve to have your own option and post about it without getting hate about it, I feel none of us should be offended it's just an option it's not hurting anyone :)
have a good day goodbye <3
I am 37 years old and have finally come to understand why I have been treated like dirt by everyone I have ever met my intire life. My father was a narcissist, married my mother who kept secret her Bipolar. I ran off to the military as soon as I turned 16 years of age and made it into the parachute Regiment. My childhood was abusive and brain washing. My mother ran of with another man when I was only 7 claiming my father was violent (he wasn't) I remember everything. She would find ways to wind him up and me and my brother would hide in the cupboard under the stairs wishing she would stop causing chaos. It's so true the men end up with woman like their mothers....my 3 relationships were with amazing women, they were all perfect.....nobody is perfect. They were all manipulative liars, cheats and filled with evil. My father punished me for what my mother done, the law courts said the house had to be sold and split 2 way when the youngest child leaves. My mother paid nothing and she came back and ripped the home from under our feet. My brother was still in full time education. But its all OK now as its her bipolar. My life has been obliterated every time I get into a relationship ......... No I don't think all woman are bad at all. I still dream of that perfect one but there's definitely some connection between Bipolar and narcissism and evil. My mother does not take her meds but gets all the financial benefits that come with this disorder. She keeps trying to convince me I am bipolar so I have seen a professional.....I need councilling is out come and I cannot wait. My mother is now a confirmed Christian now so the abuse I get is now 10 fold.
Light joke ..her middle name is Ann ....I quietly say in.my head Satan or is it ST.ANN ? Well you would never guess she was pure evil in her flowery Sunday dress on her way to church.
Hello Jonathan your note is my ex girlfriend
I know a few people who were married to a bipolar spouse, all of their lives were destroyed by the craziness.
Yes, they destroy.
Yes, they do.
This article is interesting but also heartbreaking. My husband is BP and Borderline and has been abusive and destructive on days I wholly wish I could wash from my memory. Cops have been called, suicide prevention measures taken, the whole nine yards and today aim honestly lucky to be alive. Today’. This is the one moment I have and that’s it.
My point is I never know what’s going to set him off and I walk mindfully around his moods but shit comes flying out of thin air often. We are divorcing now (since he won’t maintain meds and therapy regularly) and I will always fear his capabilities. So while people say there are no two BP’s that are the same, there are no two humans that are the same either. Regardless of BP. I don’t even see the disease anymore, I just see fear. I’m frightened. But I’m mostly angry that the resources are incredibly difficult to seek out and the stigma creates a hellish marathon for someone with BP to admit then seek help. It’s messed up!
Can I ask if I do something wrong I will say sorry and try to make up but if this person dose something wrong they will beat around the bust tell me they love me and care about me but won't own up to what they have done and say how deeply sorry they are for hurting me I was even told that the reason why how I feel is not because of me not getting a sorry like what I'm so hurt I even got told that I cry all the time and it was like she didn't even care but she tells people and ask people how I am and gives me kiss on the neck I'm just so hurt it's so unfair I'm broken so broken I put myself in front of a car I had to fight to get an sorry and when I did it felt so fake
What you're describing certainly isn't typical of someone with bipolar disorder. The person you're describing seems to have deep issues outside of that.
My best advice is to sit down and have a frank conversation about what you need out of the relationship. Talk about your needs and set boundaries -- if the person can't treat you in a way you deserve, maybe it's time to alter or even end the relationship.
Counseling with the two of you might be helpful too.
You don't have to stand for being treated that way.
- Natasha Tracy
Um.. No offense. But it sounds your was diagnosed wrong. Using words like evil especially. Bipolar is often wrong diagnosis given to borderlines, narcissists, PDs, etc. Make sure u know what true bipolar is before you assume they're evil based solely on ex who may have been wrongly diagnosed. It took till i was 25 to get diagnosed borderline. Before that, was bipolar, ADD. Im nowhere near bipolar. Many psychs are not trained at all in identifying, diagnosing, or treating personality disorders.and those who are often refuse to deal with or treat borderlines or narcissists cause they can be so emotionally draining..or narcissists can easily manipulate and trick psychs. I undersrand you knew yoir ex to be bipolar, you were hurt, so you put that projection and generalization on bipolar disorder as a whole. But all mental illnesses fall on a spectrum. Just like cluster B's all share similar trairs from different PD's. Bipolar people CAN be grandiose during manic episodes. They can also seem quite infantile at times, but bipolar people still are empathic, caring people. Nor are they known to be manipulative, exploitative, nasty, etc. Borderlines, narcs, cluster B's in general all have low levels of empathy. ..sociopaths have no empathy at all for example. Borderlines do have empathy, but just lower levels than a normal person. PD's as well as all mental illnesses cannot help their behavior.. Its who they are, their pathology, their ingrained personality, how their brain is wired, the trauma they endured in formative years. Its literally not their fault and cannot be cured typically. If your ex was resistant to medication, very well could of been personality disordered. Unless yoi have a psych degree and can say from absolute certainty from dealing with bipolar professionally on a daiy basis, you cant say theyre evil. Theyre not. Theyre ill. But they're not calculating or as destructive as PD's.. Not "evil." they feel very deeply. But when they're in an episode, they are so consumed by their own pain.
I'm not sure if you're directing this at me, but if so, you may have missed the point of the article.
- Natasha Tracy
Bethany I think you have a couple of things wrong. One Bipolar 2 people and I can only speak what I have encountered are childish, self-centered, selfish and unfaithful. I have no patience for this type of behavior. No one made you lie down and have sex with someone outside the relationship. Yet I hear most bipolars say that they just feel manic or hypomanic when they are in that phase and that literally someone else seems to take over their body. That's BULL****! Everyone and I mean everyone is responsible for their own mental health and the one diagnosis I hear most about that doesn't want that help are BIPOLARS. They think they can go it alone. And when they mess us relationships, friendships, etc...they have selfish regrets but absolutely no REMORE because that would require empathy, compassion, and understand of peoples feelings outside your own. I have never met a bipolar that had EMPATHY because that would require you have to put yourself in the other person's shoes and feel what they feel. Bipolar people are too all self consuming hot messes to even give that a second thought.
I appreciate your adding to the conversation and it does sound like you've run into some very unfortunate examples of people with bipolar disorder. I would just like to say that having/not having empathy is not a part of bipolar disorder. Typically, empathy is impaired in people with certain kinds of personality disorders (and yes, a person could have both bipolar disorder and a personality disorder).
I can assure you that many of us have a great deal of empathy because of the suffering we have been through. Having more empathy is sometimes cited as a "positive" of having bipolar disorder, in fact.
-- Natasha Tracy
I think generalization and hatred of anyone is wrong, but I find it fitting that a white woman who has never bared the brunt of racism- would make such a broad equalization to something you know nothing of. You could have used a different simile, such as comparing mental illness to physical illness. I'm not sure if it was nepotism that afforded you the ability to get paid to write full time-or not; it was unfocused, scattered, and haphazard. I know it has been a while, hopefully you have since improved.
sometimes hatred is necessary.
Totally agree with you.
lmaoooo you torched her
I think the reason people are negative about other people with mental disorders is that mentally disordered people are often creating instability or chaos in life and in relationships. It creates heartaches and pain, psychological, emotionally, financially also. In the end it becomes too difficult to maintain a life and relationship where you get hurt. As a learning experience and lesson drawing, all mentally disordered are put in the same bag of crazies to never be touched again.
you got that right.
I've found the same to be true more about neurotypical people. Mindless buffoons motivated by whim and feeling, who've never gone through the hardship required to formulate a nuanced understanding of reality.
Now, I don't actually believe this, this is an incredibly unfair assumption. But it is just as valid as yours
Maybe you and others like you should be in your own bag :) I hope to never meet you in person! Unless you somehow see how utterly foolish you are being.
I'm bipolar. I'm a male. I'm 6'3". I'm trilingual. I guess I'm smart - that's what I think at least. I had an amazing childhood in terms of standard of living. Probably top 1% in the world for sure. Then something went wrong when I was 12... Lost the mansion, family has to work abroad... bankruptcy. So for the first 12 years of my life I was living similarly to Trumps kids(top 1%), I guess. Worst thing that happened to me was being bullied at school most likely because I was sent something from Stanford by the time I was age 10. Well living now in maybe top 5% in the world, a little down the food chain, but still graduated from High School, same place that Mr. Bezos did. Early admission 2nd month into senior semestar so I guess I had 6 months of... waiting. Then my life could FINALLY BEGIN at 18!!! NO MORE BOSSES!!! Didn't do well so I went home, tried and tried again to learn from people that knew so little... couldn't do it, didn't have the patience.
I always loved numbers. The most simplistic science that us humans created. Think of life like luck... Some people are lucky, some people aren't. Bipolar people are extremely unlucky (replace bipolar with race samesex preference / anything not part of the norm/etc). Thanks for reading. --P.G.
P.S. We all have our place. Without bipolar people I guess Lilly and Pfizer maybe would have fed pills to people that cure cancer from Philip Reynolds.
P.P.S. Last one, I promise. I believe we were made for the pursuit of happiness. My gf believes we are here to suffer. And I'm the bipolar one...
I recently left my bipolar fiance. It was the best choice I've ever made for myself. I almost forgot what it was like to be happy. This man utterly destroyed me. It makes me so angry when bipolars [complain] about the stigma they face when it's there for a good reason. Go to any bipolar support forum and you will see that it's filled with people who are coping with a bipolar's abuse. Get involved with someone with this illness and you will become nothing more than their chew toy. Bipolar people are clueless to the pain they cause.
Go ahead, accuse me of being bitter and judgmental. It will only make me smile. The bipolar stigma is there for a good reason <3
@Tanadia - Good for YOU! You have saved yourself and your future children YEARS OF HEARTACHE. Trust me - bipolar is forever and the whole "everything will be okay with the right meds" is pretty much a joke. Glad to see that you have moved on - you are worth more than years of abuse at the hands of someone who will hide behind the bipolar label. I wish you the best in moving on and strongly urge you to never look back.
I'd flip off anyone who accuses me of being bitter and judgmental because that's nothing to smile about.
That's exactly how I feel about women. It honestly just sounds like you're rationalizing leaving a decent man or indeed, perhaps you're permanently unable to find a decent one. [moderated] If it weren't "bipolar" it'd be because they don't earn enough... Well that's not what you would say in public of course. I'm not going to pretend to be amused to fake superiority, but the stigma against women is there for a reason. And before you point to a bunch of successful outliers to convince me you should be taken seriously, I should point out there are plenty of successful bipolar people (like the late Carrie Fisher, or Stephen Fry, and the existence of those outliers doesn't change what you said as well. I'm not replying to this, and no, I'm not bipolar but I did see an opportunity here and I took it. I'm not engaging any rationalization from you or others beyond this point.
To a Free Man, I am replying to you because you sound just like my ex who refused to except his bipolar diagnosis and has been manic 3 times in 7 months. Currently he was forced into treatment and removed from his position at work . You all deny, blames, insults, project on others your bad behavior, want others to be responsible for all your meanness, you are vulgar and nasty, and still refuse help. I have nothing against the disorder, I was willing to support and stand by his side during recovery. But he refuses to do the work. I have a family member I love dearly with BP and he is highly regarded and respected because he is responsible and takes ownership of his illness. He accepts his illness, takes his meds and currently working on a PhD. He a success in every way possible because he is responsible and controls his BP and doesn't let the BP control him. Sounds like your next stop should be treatment.
You nailed it!! I most certainly feel like a “ chew toy “. Sadly my wife is blind to how she treats Me. Yes the first year was great. But now I feel trapped.
I couldn’t agree with you more. At least you broke free and can return to normalcy...I’m still with my bipolar spouse who has destroyed me and my family over the past 15 yrs. all I know is that bipolar people do not fully understand the chaos they’ve created nor do they really care because honestly it’s always about their own feelings.. mental terrorists
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in a negative place with your spouse but I would like to mention that your spouse is only one person. Many people with bipolar disorder are not like you describe. We are individuals and should be treated as such.
- Natasha Tracy
Its not that the bipolar person is actually *evil* per se. It is that they go on a destructive rampage and do evil and destructive things. It is hard not to attribute these choices to the individual who is making these choices.
My ex is bipolar, made a choice not to take her meds, slipped got so bad she would come home at night and just yell at me about random things that were not at all connected. A dispute over her promise to go camping before summer ended was finalized with her stomping off, heading to skid row, smoking methamphetamine, losing her purse, ID, credit and bank cards, and being thrown in jail - which was completely out of character. Along with a huge number of other smaller transgressions and accusations.
I treated this girl like the world. I even had ex girlfriends who owed me favors bring her designer purses and wallets, we went to a ritzy downtown hotel for our six month anniversary. I put her up rent-free at my house, I bought most of the food, vodka, and did almost all the cooking and cleaning. I loaned my reputation to get her a job, vaulting her from being a bakery teller to working in investment banking. You name it, I did it for her.
Our breakup consisted of her accusing me of crazy things like sleeping with other women while she was in the house, threats of violence, notes saying she hoped I died, posters put up all over town calling me a narcissistic lying a-hole with my phone number and picture on it, she had sex with one of my roommates a week after she broke up with me.
You just gotta ask yourself, what's there not to hate in that sort of behavior? I still care about the girl very much, but as far as she's concerned she never wants to speak to me again. I moved on, mostly I'd like to talk to her because we work in the same industry and I'd at least like to be civil to eachother but it's like talking to a brick wall - nothing.
Between her and her friend she sent the cops to my house 22 times over bogus "harassment" claims when I never set foot near her house, never followed her, never tried contacting her at work despite that she has my old office phone number, she even had my roommate that she slept with a week after our breakup arrested in some bizarre sting operation her and her friend put together. All I ever did was send her an email every month or two and try to get her to stop sending me massive multipage text bombs and leave me alone filled with hate.
Yes, bipolar people can be wonderful. I completely fell in love with one. But the unpredictability and the craving of mania just makes them awful partners. Friends, you can switch off for a while while they come back to earth from the stratosphere. A relationship partner, not so much, especially when hypersexuality and drugs get involved.
I refuse to have anything to do with bipolar people.
Why suffer? I so agree! After a 40 year marriage with my almost ex husbands self neglect and on and off meds,he has reached the point of no return. It's his choices and his fault that he is totally beyond help now. I need to care for me. It is time for a change! O do mot feel sorry for him.
Hi Taylor, thanks for being at least reasonable compared to many here who seem to only hate without any compassion or understanding. My mom was bi-polar. It's hard to deal with the destructive nasty behavior that can be part of a manic episode, but it is a disease and it's like blaming someone for having cancer. None the less, if someone you love had a condition where every third time you saw them, they'd punch you in the face as hard as they can, you'd eventually start to want to protect yourself. That's how I describe it to people. That’s what it can be like having a family member or partner who’s bi-polar. It's also hard to tell where the disease stops and starts. How much of the behavior is the illness, how much them? I’m sorry you went through what you did. I’m sorry for your ex- partner too. I wouldn’t wish this disorder on my worst enemy, it can be a horrible life to lead if you can't or don't get it under control. My mom died this past Christmas and I feel weirdly empty. Not sad like you’re supposed to be. I mostly feel relief that she doesn’t need to suffer any more, and neither do the rest of us.
I am actually quite hurt by all of these comments. I have type 2 bipolar disorder, as does basically my whole family. It was extremely difficult growing up with my mom before she was treated, and my dad during his manic episode was incredibly hurtful. I can understand where you all are coming from in your hurt. I also will not deny that I have been cruel to people at some points when I have cycled through my episodes, and I will tell you that when I came out of my episode and realized the hurt I caused, it really did cause immense shame and sorrow. It is a difficult disease for the person and those around them to deal with. This is in part because people with bipolar are in such pain, they dont feel comfortable even in their own skin many times, and because of this they have the highest suicide rate of any mental illness. However, people with the disorder are more likely to be victimized and assaulted because of their illness. Like when my ex-boyfriend repeatedly sexually assaulted me and raped me, but told me no one would believe me because I was crazy, that no one would ever love me because I was crazy. I believed him because the hate that is said by others simply due to their previous experiences. I don't believe this disease has created me without empathy either. I am the type of person who literally feels emotional pain when someone else is in emotional pain. When a loved one or friend needs helps, I drop everything I'm doing just to help them. I am a nurse who wants nothing more than to heal others and help them and their families through such a difficult time. I just recently spoke at my college graduating ceremony about how important being kind, understanding, and compassionate to all people is. I can understand that another person may have hurt you, I understand how frustrating it is to be really hurt by a person when they are in an episode and have them say "I was manic, I was depressed." I grapple with these feelings regularly when others with bipolar in my life hurt me. I understand it is an episode, but that doesn't make it hurt any less, that doesn't make it okay. That is why it is so difficult to live with because I don't want to hurt others, and sometimes I do without realizing it, and I act in a way that isn't really me, but that doesn't change the outcome. Still, I implore you, do not judge all of those with this illness based on one individual, or even a handful of individuals. Because there are good people out there struggling with this disease, wanting nothing more than to be able to find stability and love and happiness. Taking handfuls of medications and vitamins and supplements every day, wearing goofy orange blue light glasses every night to keep away the mania, calculating exactly how much sleep they need, being a young 22 year old and not being able to go out for drinks with their friends because they cant drink, looking up every new treatment for their disorder. Doing all of this because they don't want to hurt anyone in their depression or hypomania or mania, and I am one of those people.
I hate bipolar people, psychopaths, and sociopaths. Other people are not as cruel as they are. I had a bipolar mother, sister, later boyfriend and now son. None of them were a picnic and all acted vicious and evil. Granted I love my son but he has hurt me beyond repair.
You and me both.
Glad that you agree.
I hope that you're original chris smith and not an impostor.
AIl I can say is, take your medicine. if what you are taking is not working, work your doctor to find the right meds. But most likely you do not like your meds because you miss the benefits of being bipolar. Excellent sex because of hyper organism, creativity ,Mania, etc? if not medicated, you all lie your ass off. Birds of a feather flock together. You bipolars stick together. You don't even have to know them. But you as a bipolar will lie, cheat and steal to protect those with your illness. Bottom line is , the only love you have is for yourself and other Bipolars. You do not care about your victims. Only about how they serve you. Non medicated bipolars are evil people. so smoke your pot ant what else you may do for relief
People here have know idea what bipolar is like. I have asperger syndrome and even I find that very offensive that they call bipolar evil. People insult things they don't know about because they haven't gone through it themselfs.
"Like when my ex-boyfriend repeatedly sexually assaulted me and raped me"
Ok, gotta stop you right there. You loved the guy enough for him to be your boyfriend. Depending on your age, with a boyfriend comes a relationship, and with a relationship comes sex, or at least an expectation that sex is consensual. Some people are just whacked, if the guy literally held you down and raped you then I feel for you, but I kind of doubt that is the case.
While it is technically *possible* to be raped as the girlfriend of your perpetrator, it is highly unlikely; and more likely that you either changed your mind after the fact, didn't communicate that you didn't want to have sex at that time clearly enough for him to understand, or were going through a depressive period where you just weren't interested in anything let alone sex for a sustained length of time.
My bipolar ex would make me wait an average of 45 days between sexual encounters when she was depressed. I wasn't allowed to cheat as it wasn't an open relationship, and I was truly suffering. Moreso because earlier in the relationship and even before we were in a relationship it was like rabbits, multiple times a day.
Partners have needs too. Like one of my ex girlfriends says, "Keep his belly full and his balls dry and he will never stray"; sage advice. Hate to break it to ya, but your man's libido is not going to suffer through your mental illness. Somethings gotta give if you want to keep the relationship rolling. Either he's going to get sex when you aren't quite in the mood, or he's going to get it elsewhere.
PS. If the guy really was a psycho who put a knife to your neck or something I am sorry for my comments.
This comment makes me extremely upset
and sad. I have also been raped by my bi polar now ex boyfriend.
He asked a week earlier if I liked anal I said absolutely not
He said good I don’t like it either.
But that’s exactly what he did
He got on top of me when I was sleeping on my stomach
It took 2 years of support groups and therapy to get to a good place again.
He is untreated bi polar with drug problems
I reported him
He was extremely selfish and abusive
Severe raging no accountability or remorse
Suicide threats crying stonewalling or raging if I feared to bring anything up he had done.
Sorry for being so descriptive but obviously some ppl need to hear specifics in order to believe that women get raped.
Listen, I've no idea who you are. I wanted to say to you two things, one as a rape victim myself and one as someone who is dating someone bipolar and engaged.
1) I'm sorry about Taylor. Not apologizing for them, but I'm sorry you have to deal with victim blaming on top of being bipolar, it's rough. Rape isn't your fault, and even if you're in a relationship a partner ought to respect your no, and leave you alone if you're reluctant. I've been diagnosed with PTSD a d I'm a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a rape 3 years ago, so while I'm not bipolar I've done some pretty hurtful things and had my rage moments. Feel free to take what I say with a pinch of salt, but all you can do afterwards is talk it through and make amends where necessary.
You should look at Aphrodite Wounded, it's a site for those who are victims of intimate partner abuse.
2) On bipolar. All you can do is stay in your meds and have frequent appointments with your care team. You are NOT your disorder. I've seen my fiance when he was manic, and I'll tell you this. It was him who realized he was manic and got himself help and early too. Therapy helps as well and knowing the early signs is important since partners don't pick up on them either. A lot of people here have been hurt by someone bipolar and hence the hatred, but it doesn't have to be that way. I don't know what you're like, but I hope you'll find someone who isn't reactionary. Yes you've to do your part in managing your illness but accidents will happen and you need a safety net for them. I just wanted to say that.
I actually know a girl, happily married, she's bipolar, borderline and has ptsd. She's very careful now in managing herself and I know her and her husband have a very happy marriage and a happy relationship prior to that. A mental disorder isn't a death sentence for loneliness as long as you pull your weight where you can, but sometimes it's hard. I know.
You deserve to be loved, and being raped doesn't make you crazy. I face a lot of backlash myself for that (yes even the stuff that happened when I was a child). Most people just don't want to admit rape is a thing that happens, and it happens very frequently to both genders. You deserve to be loved and find someone who makes you happy, and it sounds like you're making a genuine effort. :)
I don't know if talking to someone is your cup of tea, but my correspondence email is email@example.com
Taylor in all fairness, Sex isn't an obligation you know, it's something for both people in a relationship to enjoy. Both. Not one but both.
Oh and holding a knife to someone's throat isn't a prerequisite for rape. You should probably also look at the website I mentioned above to educate yourself on how intimate partner violence can take place.