I'm Not Thankful for Bipolar, and That's Okay

Today I'd like to say what I'm not thankful for: I'm not thankful for bipolar disorder. Now that Thanksgiving is over, and people have said what they are thankful for, I want to focus on this for a minute. This isn't meant to be negative but, rather, simply a fact. While I know some feel differently, for me, bipolar disorder is something I'm just not thankful for.

Could Someone Be Thankful for Bipolar Disorder?

Some people are thankful for bipolar disorder. I think being thankful for being saddled with a possibly-lethal, serious mental illness is just nutty, but I know some people do feel this way. People in this boat are usually those who like their mania/hypomania and find it enhances their creativity and/or other attributes they like. These people tend not to experience as much depression (proportionally) and are not as devastated by their bipolar symptoms. 

I do not fit that mold at all.

Why I'm Not Thankful for Bipolar Disorder

I'm pretty much the opposite of that. I tend to predominantly experience depression, it devastates both me and my life, and while hypomania can increase certain things about me, I don't find it to be actually productive. I start many things but don't finish them. I'll produce things that are "brilliant" only to be looked at later and honestly be shown to be the rantings of a less-than-sane person.

Are there positive aspects to bipolar disorder? Some would say yes. An increase in empathy is an example of that; however, I don't consider slight positive aspects to be nearly worth the suffering I endure. 

People Get Mad When You Say You're Not Thankful for Bipolar

Some people have proven to me that taking this viewpoint is "unacceptable" to them. People feel it's overly negative to say what you're not thankful for. And some people will vehemently say that bipolar disorder is a gift, period. In my mind, hospital stays, suicide attempts, and ruined lives are not gifts.

It's Okay Not to Be Thankful for Bipolar Disorder

But my point here is that it's entirely rational not to be thankful for bipolar disorder. It's entirely reasonable not to be thankful for an illness. It's not about negativity or positivity -- it's about reality. And I, for one, prefer to deal with reality rather than a candy-coated, la-la-land type of place. And you can admit that bipolar disorder may have given you something non-negative and still not be thankful for it due to its excessive negatives.

So, if someone tells you your view of bipolar disorder is wrong just because you admit to not being thankful for a serious mental illness, try to remember that it's their issue of not being able to deal with the cold, harsh reality that you really face. Because sometimes reality is cold and harsh and it's okay to say that. It's okay to admit that. Not everything is puppy dogs and rainbows. You do not have to act like Pollyanna. Not being thankful for bipolar disorder isn't a negative thing, it's just a thing. It's just a part of life. And it's okay.