When Your Teen is Admitted to a Psychiatric Hospital

So many heartbreaking stories here. My heart goes out to all of you and your families.
Personally, I've been depressed since I was a child, suicidal on and off (much more in my late teen years and recently), and even slightly homicidal when I was young (fantasizing about killing my abusive parents and raising my siblings myself). I've also been very anxious since I was a child, but my mother always pushed it off as "puberty" and "mood swings". The depression manifested itself in random bouts of crying because I was just so sad but didn't know why, and those, too, were written off as puberty.
As I got older, I indulged in little self-harming behaviors before I even knew what self-harm was. Scratching at a spot in my skin until I bled, picking off freckles or moles, biting my arm.
When I was 18, I tried therapy. My therapist was a very cold person who would sit there with her computer and ask me these vague questions that made me super anxious and made my mind go completely blank, and then she'd get frustrated with me when I couldn't answer them. I dreaded going to therapy. Eventually I just stopped going altogether, but kept going to the psych LPN in the same office, who put me on so many different drugs that I don't even remember them all. None of them worked. I wasn't sleeping at night, I was working all the time and barely holding it together.
When I was 20, I moved out of my parents' house, expecting things to get better, but they didn't. One of my roommates became a moody, hostile, selfish pig, and the other was so stressed from putting up with him (they were together at the time) that she wasn't very nice either. (side note: we kicked him out and I am roommates with her to this day.)
I cried almost every night. I'd listen to comedy podcasts or watch movies in order to be able to fall asleep. I was stressed, didn't know how to handle my money, and kept having car trouble, not to mention I was working two awful jobs.
the previous fall, my best friend and the one person I felt I could really trust and belong with "broke up" with me. His reasoning didn't make sense and he didn't seem to care how this made me feel, at all.
Six months after I moved out, the pain was just too much for me. The loss of that friendship, my pain-filled childhood, my jobs, and my self-hatred. I started cutting.
I "quit" cutting a few months later, but a few months after that, I started doing it again. I "quit" again, then lo and behold, fell back into it, worse than ever. I was cutting in the bathroom just in order to get myself through the terrible work days. Or at home, in my tub, just so I could get to sleep.
I quit again, but have had a few relapses since. Today, sometimes it's hard to believe I was ever that low, but sometimes I still feel like I might end up back in that place.
I started seeing a new therapist, and she really helped me. I haven't seen her in a long time because I couldn't afford the copay or the gas to get to her office (40 minutes away, over an hour with traffic). But she helped while I was going to her. I'm more stable financially now, so I'm on the lookout for a therapist closer to home who can help me get back on track to healing.
Not all therapists are bad. If you have a bad experience, find another one. You deserve to get the help you need.
My oldest brother, two years younger than me, has schizophrenia; the second oldest has ADHD; the third, my only sister, has anorexia and depression and generalized anxiety disorder and has been hospitalized two or three times for it. She has more self-harm scars than I do, and it breaks my heart. The fourth has Down syndrome and the youngest has ADHD and possible autism. I love them all dearly but you have never met a family more fraught with chronic illness, mental or otherwise.
Anyway, the reason I found this article is I'm writing a book in which one of my main characters goes into treatment for anorexia, and I have a few questions I'm trying to get answered, but there are no stories from the actual teenagers, online. None that pop up with a Google search, anyway. Right now, I just need to know if an underage inpatient can refuse medication. If they won't stop crying for hours, can they refuse a pill or an IV to help them sleep? Does anyone know?

Hi Danny
My 12 year old son was admitted twice now (currently he is in a mental hospital) for suicidial thoughts, self harm and, this time, attempted suicide. The first time he was admitted he was not on any meds. This time they have taken him off Zoloft and are considering bipolar as a possible diagnosis. He was already diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety.
So, to answer your question, being on the meds is not the cause or reason for the issues or the hospitalization. My son has a therapist and a psychiatrist as well.
It is a very hard thing to deal with as a parent, especially when your child is so young. But we cannot stop trying to help. Sometimes the medications are hard to get right and this is a problem. But knowing my son wants to kill himself is so heavy and so painful as his mother.

Wow, reading all these tragic stories of children on psychiatric drugs. Makes me want to ask one question of everybody. Do you ever wonder if it was the medications that created all your kids' mental problems? If you look way back, to before they ever took their first meds. Was it only after they started taking the meds did the real serious problems surface? How many kids here needed to be committed who were NOT taking meds at the time?

At fifteen, my mom took me to the ER. Depression and bipolar runs in my family, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that I was suicidal, that I had given up, etc. etc. I didn't care at all, and I was presented with two options: I wasn't going home. I could be hospitalized as an inpatient, like your son, or a partial patient.
Entering there was just as depressing as being at home. The 'max security' atmosphere felt suffocating and, though I'm not really rebellious, I was very tempted to run. I could have nothing at all on my person. I could not be visited. Me and about seven other teens with problems sat in a room while different adults came in to have 'discussions'.
I know now it was group therapy. I don't know if it was because of my mental state or the people that I hated it so much. For three hours, every day, I sat in a room while different people blasted the importance of a positive attitude and expected participation. Then lunch, then another hour and a half of that, or exercise, and then I had to talk with a woman. She introduced herself as Nicki, but whether she was a counselor, a therapist, or something else she never said.
Only that, for about half an hour towards the end of my day, she expressed her disappointment in my not having participated and not showing I was better and not caring more about life and having given up and - her words, not mine - "choosing to be miserable". I was depressed, bi-polar depression, granted, but still depressed. I had a hard enough time not breaking down into tears around the other teens there. I cried in her too-hot office a lot.
During this time, my mom and I argued a lot. One-sided arguments, because she was upset I didn't want to live and I wouldn't tell her I suddenly changed my mind and was pumped about life.
I really didn't want to go there. I understand that some see it as necessary - maybe it was. But after Nicki looked me in the eye and accused me of self-harm (the rest of the building was freezing - I had the gall to wear a sweatshirt like everyone else) I didn't care what it would take to get me out.
I lied on the morning sheets I filled out. Oh, of course I didn't have suicidal thoughts! Oh, of course I had goals! Oh, of course I had never cut before! (She wouldn't have seen anything if I had taken off my sweatshirt.)
And, thankfully, after a solid week, I was discharged.
Next was therapy and psychologist visits. Marginally less painful than what I had just sat through. I was given hotline numbers (as if I would use them) for when I wanted to kill myself or wanted to self-harm. Those papers ended up in the trash as soon as I came home. When filling out paperwork, and answering the yes or no questions my mom asked as she went down the list, one of them was, naturally, 'Do you self-harm or have you in the last six months?' I told her yes, even though I was terrified to tell the truth. She was quiet, and then told me: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," and asked the next question.
I was still depressed. I was still suicidal. I still cut. These things didn't change until I was medicated for bipolar. Even now, I struggle with being very flippant about life and suicide. I lost my appetite during that time period, and never gained it back. My mom's frustration with how little I eat is something I deal with on a near-daily basis, though my weight and BMI fall within normal categories.
That was last year, now. I hated it. This, and one other experience, has given me a strong dislike and distrust of therapists and counselors. I do still cut, but I managed to get out of having to go to therapy. I wouldn't tell my mom again, ever. Especially not after she told me she thought I was anorexic. My sister found out, and I do feel guilty for having promised her I wouldn't cut and then, well, cutting.
I admire troopers, who can keep going. But after my experience with hospitalization, and already disinclined to be talked out of harming myself, I would never be one to call 9-1-1 or walk into the ER and tell them, Hey, I slice myself open, don't eat, and want to die.

A young man who is very close to me was put into a psychiatric facility last Thursday for cutting. His parents died when he was eight months old and he has been living with different family members ever since. I have not known him for very long however his story is that the caregivers were mentally abusing him. I feel so helpless because I feel the only people that are readily available to help him are actually against him. His family feel that myself and my daughter are the cause of all of the problems he is having yet the problems started before we met him. Anyone have any advice?

I am only 13 but I have attempted suicide 6 times and when my mom found out about one of the attempts she just over looked the situation. I suffer from severe depression and all I can ever think about is suicide. I have thought about mine and my families safety and would like to be admitted into an phyciatric teen hospital but I don't know how to tell my mom. I don't know what to do anymore.

I have read this story a few times, it is one of those things that gives me hope.

My ER experience would be saying something to a teacher
that was along the lines of 'I don't want to live anymore'
who got worried and then called my parents who took me
to the hospital, I was temporarily admitted as they
assessed me and asked the same questions over and over
again. I lied and got released. I do regret it now but
I can't handle the shame.
There was a point over the summer where I couldn't take
it anymore and I called one of my family members, not
immediate, and asked them to take me to town. They
didn't understand why I asked and this happened
for the next week or so. Probably spent 3 nights
at their place. Parents sure were angry about it,
they didn't understand(and searched my room.)
I regret lying, as I had a chance to get some help
but I hate the shame and stigma around it. That is
what stopped me. I just want the pain to stop.
It is also getting bad again and I just want it
all to go away. I don't know what to do anymore.

Hi Christina,
I tried to find you on FB, but couldn't. Don't know if you are still on there. My teen is transgender (female body, male otherwise), since infancy I've notice I was raising a boy. His first time in a hospital was age 11, been 4 times all short term. Now Jace is 17 and feels he needs to go long term and I'm hoping we can find a good place for him. It's so difficult watching him go thru this and I can't relate at all. His dad is BiPolar, skitsofrenic, OCD and paranoid. He checked himself into a hospital in his late 20's for four years (we had been married for 6 years by that point) because he heard voice telling him scary things. Anyway, wondering & hoping if my baby will ever live a happy or somewhat normal life.

I'm 16 and suicide is always on my mind. I would like to be admitted in a place that can help me but I don't know how well that will go. My weight is not that good. Sometimes I go many days without eating so I can faint or maybe even die I just want help. I wish I could get the proper help I need. I don't know how my mom would feel about this, being that she don't know or no one knows.

My daughter found out about her fathers affair on her 16th birthday. She had been having anxiety attacks prior to the incident and she suffers from severe depression. At the age of 13, she harmed herself. I did not do anything at that time because I didn't know how to handle it. On Christmas Day, during church, she had a huge anxiety attack, passed out, and ended up in the hospital. They kept her as an impatient. It hurts to see my daughter so broken. She can't even attend school anymore so her work has to get sent home and she has to see a tutor. Meanwhile, her father and I are in the process of a messy divorce and he keeps dumping his problems on her. I am very close with her and she has been opening up to me a lot. Things are very hard for her and she has been having break downs almost daily. When under stress she can't breathe properly. I've taken her to a spa to get away but even then she had an anxiety attack. She barely sleeps, and she's gained 40 pounds in 2 years due to stress eating and the refusal of excersize. I'm very worried about my baby.

I talked someone out of committing suicide once and I can tell the parents at this site that people who are suicidal need to talk it out and a hug and ongoing TLC. If you don't know how to listen to your child's stuff yourself, encourage your child to ring a kidsline number as much as they need to to talk their stuff out, and probably get a counsellor too. consider different parenting approaches too - this can be very important. don't automatically trust the professionals without reading up on how to help your children using different approaches and techniques yourself. mental health treatment is not yet very good even in this day and age and poor mental health can be the symptom, not the cause, anyway. TLC will help your child a lot - if your approach to providing it is not working, read up on and try different approaches. Call in whatever help you can get - where there is a will, there is a way. I hope this information helps someone.

abby your story sounds like ours. our son is now on third stay but this time has made threats on our lives and won't talk to us now. it is very hard to see him like this.

My daughter is on her 5th hospital stay in two months. She loves being in the hospital despite it being like a prison. She does very well in the hospital because she wants to be there so then they discharge her. She even gets to the point of saying she wants to be home and can make things work.she comes home, escalates, and gets herself placed again. At one point we believe a hospital stay was necessary but now she's just manipulating. She was initially admitted for aggressive and violent behavior towards us but in the hospital learned about suicide attempts and self harm and is now engaged in that behavior. She has five diagnoses including bipolar and autism.

Touche. Great arguments. Keep up the amazing work.

I am 15 years old and have been diagnosed with depression. I am currently seeing a therapist once two times a week. Suicide is always on my mind and I haven't eaten properly in a long period of time and my weight is dropping. I want to be checked into a mental hospital but am not quite sure how to go about that. I have four sisters. Three of which have attempted suicide. My dad is a former drug addict. I hate my mom. But mostly I struggle with self consciousness. I try to tell people that I uave a very hard time controlung my anger but they quickly dismiss it. I have also been diagnosed with trich *impulse control disorder which causes the need to pull out of one's hair.* I have gotten therapy for self harm in rhe past and I have a tendency to binge drink. Yes alcohol. But my therapist has yet to know that. I feel qs if i qm different from others at my school. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD. But its not only that.I anonymously told an online therapist these things and he said I have borderline personality disorder. Do you think this is correct? Any advice also on being admitted would be immensely appreciated. Thanks

My ex-wife abandoned the children last year for a man she met on Facebook. She has a history of mental illness, re-triggered after the birth of our second child and she slowly deteriorated which led to the children's neglect when I was at work.
Six months after the ex's departure, my older daughter 14yrs, who had been emotionally traumatized, told her school she attempted suicide. She was already being treated with psych med changes, and a psychologist in dealing with her mother's abandonment. But her PTSD, mood swings, desocialization etc eventually became diagnosed as bipolar.
She was hospitalized twice since and has recently been violent toward my other daughter 10yrs and myself on several occasions. We've had her to many family and private therapy sessions to deal with it. Despite med changes, two psychologists, a truncated school schedule, and constant love and support in the best home I could provide, she only gets worse.
Recently, my daughter in a low point, falsely accused me of physical and verbal abuse to the school psychologist. She said that I hit her with a pillow to coax her to get up and go to school yet it was she who became violent hitting and throwing things.
Well, the school reported it to cps, and now she's with an aunt, my ex's sister, who believed her outright without asking me, she herself, having come from an abusive father, but having had no contact with my children or myself for many months before this.
I have no prior mental or criminal history of any sort, have been a devoted father to my girls since birth, have been cleared by cps after their saying the investigation was unwarranted, but my daughter, who's now both mentally and physically looking worse than ever, is refusing to come home, still accusing me, I believe, for having dug herself a hole she can't get out of.
I am heartbroken, beyond lost, and frustrated in what to do. I found out she hasn't been back to school since, and when I saw her briefly, looks and sounds like hell...My 10yr old daughter and I, in our finally peaceful house, are getting on fine but are missing her so much. Living hell. Any thoughts or comments are welcome. I am at a total loss.

My daughter was hospitalized for 24 days. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and other things. Life for her is hard a lot of days and all she wants is to be normal. And I am having a hard time trying to cope and understand because my husband can't or won't see that she does have problems and thinks and implies that there is nothing wrong but I know there is sometimes I look into her eyes and she isn't in there and other times she is. This story really helped me and I thank everyone for sharing.

My youngest daughter has been hospitalized several times during her teen years for suicidal ideation and cutting. Her last hospitalization was January/Feb. this years where she had to be hospitalized 4 times. But not she has been put on new medication and it has been like night and day. She is positive, her anger has been lessened (she was punching and kicking holes in the walls), she is working. I don't think I ever believed we would get to this point because of all the other medication she had been on didn't seem to get any results. And it is a lot of pain and guilt seeing your child suffer and you seem helpless to aid them. I hope your son is doing better. Remember there is really only so much you can do as a parent, but love, support and fight for their recovery. I pray you and your family are well and at peace with what is going on.

Hello, I am Coral. I was admitted to a psychological hospital when I was 15. I was seriously depressed and diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder. But what could you have expected, my brother did drugs, my stepfather, and mom did drugs as well as my mother dealing with alcohol. My father did not take his medicine right and became highly dependent on Lortabs. I was molested twice, watched my house burn in an accidental fire and lost my mother to suicide and my stepfather (one of my molesters) overdosed on heroine.
The hospital was deadly. I was admitted quite quickly to find out they didn't have a bed. So I sat in a waiting room type of deal with patients like me. It wasn't until 12:00 that they found a bed in a different hospital 2 hours away from where I lived. So there I was, getting sigNed in and registered. Then it took a couple hours for my to answer their questions. Finally at 6 o clock in the morning, when everyone was waking up, I went to bed as I got there extremely early. The food was horrid and the day dragged on and on. Wake up, do hygiene,eat breakfast, go to "class" which was reading on a third grade level, group therapy where we watched videos made that were made in the 90s, snack time, "class" again where we played with play-dough, lunch, process group therapy where we got in lots of fights and many people had to step out due to memories, "class" where we watched a movie, active therapy where we went outside for 20 minutes, shower, dinner, then free time after that. Lights out at nine. Phone calls, once a day, 10 minutes, before bedtime. It was prison.

My daughter also requested to go into inpatient at age 16. Unfortunately, the nearest adolescent facility was 200 miles away. She was there for a week and we spoke on the phone. It seemed to be a clean and positive facility. They were able to adjust her meds and closely supervise her. But not being able to see her during that week was horrible. They took her by ambulance and when she was released, I had to figure out how to get there to pick her up and bring her home.

My now 15 year old son has been battling severe depression and low self esteem. He's has a personality disorder. And so very angry and hurts himself. He also hear and sees things. He's adimate he has the devil inside him. He's very religious and fears of going in to a church because he will be taking evil in with him too. The support has been very little. I pray everyday that he will be with me but the end of the day. He's Tried a couple of times in the past to take his life. It breaks my heart to see my baby suffering so much. Not sure what to do anymore to be honest .

Wow, we all follow such a similar path. We admitted my son at age 22, when he finally told us he just couldn't think.was diagnosed with schizophrenia. The only people that even come close to relating are those who have walked the same road. In time, grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins have accepted the different young man. The mixture of emotions as we left him at the hospital will never be forgotten.

I've been hospitalized 3 times for suicidal ideation and they really did nothing. I was there for 2 days, 5 days and then 2 nights and they just turn you over. The facilities and procedures aren't in place in most areas. The place in my home town only has 2 rooms. I knew of someone who went in more than 3 times in a period of a few months because she'd go home and attempt again and they did nothing for her. She was actually turned away and no one knew what to do because she was a danger to be left alone. In a city where I have seen an increasing number of teen suicides, it's clear that not all is being done that should be.

I was admitted at 14, (over 30 yrs ago...Whoa!), and what I got mainly was judgment from everyone, from my parents, (their abuse was the cause and trigger), friends of my parents, clergy, pediatrician etc. My parents got more empathy than I did and their behaviors triggered my illness. It is always great to see parents who are involved and care, that neighbors did too is almost unbelievable but great. I wish the best for your son and family. I am still fighting 60+ hospitalizations and 33 yrs later. I hope hs battle gets easier.

Hi
My daughter is 16 and has tried to commit suicide twice (overdosing on her own mediation) She was in a rehab for 3 weeks.
She was asked to leave the house of her stepdads at the age of 14 due to her bad behaviour and the affect is was having on our little daughter. She hold me totally responsible for this and of course being a mom how could you not. She went to live with her dad and he had to leave town due to getting a job out of town. She wanted to go to boarding school. She is home schooled at this boarding school and her moods change often, one day happy next she wants to kill herself, swears at me over the phone. She under a psychiatrist and is on meds but she makes me cry al the time. Manipulates me and black mails me.
PLEAE HELP.

I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital at the age of 12, and then dozens of times as an adult.
There were never balloons. Neighbors, friends, co-workers...none of these people ever helped my mom. They knew what was going on, but never offered anything but an expression of pity and a side of judgment.
I think if there had ever been balloons, if my release were treated as positive, shame would not have developed. Or, maybe there would have been a more healthy dialogue between my parents and I.
Thank you for putting out balloons. Thank you for treating your son like a deserving human.

My daughter was hospitalized for a month not too long ago and finally diagnosed with bipolar among other things. The extent of her distress I didn't even realize until she was admitted and your blog brought back all the memories of visiting her and thinking that my daughter was a zombie and would we ever have our daughter back. I pray that the dialogue about mental illness will continue to happen. It's sad but my husband is still embarrassed to say that his daughter has a mental illness because he is afraid of what people might say in their ignorance. My prayers for you and your family. Keep sharing, it is helping.