When you see a person who self-injures, it's important to speak up. Let me share a story with you. I volunteer for a camp called Camp Good Days and Special Times. I know I’ve brought this up in my past blogs, but for those who don’t know – Camp Good Days is a camp for children and families touched by cancer. I started volunteering for this camp when I was sixteen, during my difficult years. This place was one of the reasons I stopped cutting myself. Seeing children suffering through the disease I survived made me realize I had a reason to be happy and help them. However, there was one camper who really stood out in my memory. Not just because of her cancer, but because of her arms.

Whether you are studying for an exam or getting to that therapy appointment, motivation is key. Without motivation, actions wouldn’t be successful. You need motivation to become self-harm free or to lose that ten pounds. So what do you do when you lack the motivation you know you need to succeed?

School is officially in session and whether you are in high school or college, you’re probably feeling a little bit of stress.  Well, some of you may be feeling completely overwhelmed and that is more than understandable.  However, take a step back and look at everything you have on your plate.  Homework? Sports? Jobs? Rent? All of the above? Being overly ambitious can, at times, lead to stress and being too stressed can, at times, lead to negative behaviors – such as self-harm.

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why do I self-harm?" or "Why do I let things trigger my self-injury behaviors?" The word “why” varies from being a good and a bad word. As a kid, you constantly ask why because you want to know about the world you live in: “Why is the sky blue” or “Why is your hair curly?” As a child, that word is part of life and learning and discovery. The word is natural. Sometimes, if we never asked why, we’d never know. However, sometimes asking why can become a stressor when struggling with death, disease or self-injury and mental illness.

I’ve never been a huge fan of running or lifting or going to a gym. For me, it takes a lot, and I mean a lot, of motivation to get my butt out of bed to work out for an hour. My family, on the other hand, almost obsesses with working out. Half of my relatives are P.E. teachers or Physical Therapists and have raced in half or full marathons. Many are now into CrossFit, which scares the living crap out of me. During high school, when I was struggling with self-harm, I was a serious dancer. I went to a strict ballet school, which kept me busy almost every night of the week. It was good, staying fit and pushing my focus onto something else. However, when dancing I could not wear bracelets and no matter how much make-up I put on my scars, the sweat would eat it away. Then, questions would be asked and lies would be spit out.

When digging through some papers from my past, I found a children’s poem I’d written for a class that had to contain a positive message. Reading over this, I thought it would be worth it to share, even though it doesn’t come out and speak about self-injury. However, when it comes to discussing self-harm, positive thinking is a crucial element. Positive self-talk has been mentioned throughout my blogs because it is a very important coping skill for, not only those struggling with self-injury, but for anybody battling a demon. When I am tired and un-motivated to wake up in the morning, I will tell myself things to get my energy and confidence moving.  It is not as easy as it seems and is definitely easier said than done, but positive self-talk definitely leads towards overall positive thinking.

I’ll admit it - I stare at people. Okay, that sounds a little bit creepy, but we all fall guilty of staring at those around us. I’ve mentioned this in my other blogs, but lately, I’ve realized how many people stare at others either because they look different or behave strangely. The thing is, people still have a difficult time realizing that differences are not always a bad thing – they make us who we are. And we need to be happy with the person we have become.

Every human struggles with emotions – plain and simple. These emotions can range from love and lust to fear and sadness. Sometimes, with the snap of a finger, emotions can dramatically change. It’s sad that when people start acting depressed or anxious or paranoid they automatically start throwing labels, saying so-and-so is “acting bipolar” or “must have schizophrenia”. To everyone who throws around labels like this – think before you say because, believe me, it hurts.

Everyone people watches – it is in our nature. Whether you’re at the mall or at a restaurant, you look at people and wonder who they are and why they do what they do. As a kid, I always played a game where I’d look at a person and guess what they’d do ‘when they grew up’. Now, I think we all still play that game, but that game has turned more into judging than a game of Make-Believe. More than usual, I’ve been people watching and wondering things about the people who walk by. I look at the tall man in the suit, chatting away on the phone and wonder if he really enjoys his job. I look at the woman with seven kids trailing behind her and wonder what she does when she has a moment to herself. I look at the teenager walking with his head down, bracelets lining his wrists, and wonder if he self-harms.

It’s obvious that self-harm and self-esteem are linked in some way or another. Typically, if someone is feeling down in the dumps, they are going to try to find a way to get rid of that feeling. When self-harmers feel this way, they turn to one of the only coping skills they know – cutting, burning, hair pulling, scratching or head banging (as well as others, of course). When struggling with any kind of mental illness, it is extremely tough to bounce right out of a negative place. It’s easy to listen to therapists, friends, teachers and even bloggers when they tell you to “Keep your chin up” or “Shake it off”, but is it easy to actually shake off that feeling? Not usually.