Finding your voice and reacting appropriately during an initial reaction to verbal abuse can be harder than it seems. Often, we can get wrapped up in a moment, as if our bodies go into shock. Sometimes, it's not until later that you can form words that, in retrospect, you would have liked to say, but for some reason, you didn't. This describes my experiences with verbal abuse, and I hope that my lessons help you avoid this frustration and become powerful in speaking your mind in the active moments of verbal abuse.
Signs and Symptoms of Abuse
Dating can be hard for everyone, and signs of unhealthy relationships can be difficult to spot. Here are some early tell-tale signs that the relationship is unhealthy--also known as "It's complicated."
New years are filled with new intentions, resolutions, changes, and goals, but 2020 is a little different. This year is a new decade, and it's time to sit down with yourself and set some new intentions with your fresh decade energy and address your verbal abuse experiences.
Sexual verbal abuse can have a lasting impact on your relationship. When verbal abuse occurs in a mostly healthy relationship, it can be hard to catch. This can be especially true when it interferes with your sexual experiences with your partner--sex is supposed to connect you, to be positive, and create unique trust between partners, and when verbal abuse finds its way into sex, it can be difficult to heal from.
Self-esteem takes a hit when you live with verbal abuse, but you can do something about it. Here's how you can rebuild your self-esteem after verbal abuse.
It's hard staying grounded while facing verbal abuse, especially if you've been on the abuse merry-go-round with family, friends, or significant others for some time. Having deep-seated connections with abusers can cause confusion when it comes to determining your feelings and deciphering boundaries because these loyalties make it difficult to decide if a behavior is okay.
It can be hard to tell when you're in a relationship: Is it verbal abuse or something else? Over time, every relationship develops a unique dialogue that you share with your partner--a communication style you both understand. But what happens when verbal abuse gets mixed into that dialogue? Is it a unique love language or is it verbal abuse? This was a struggle I faced in many forms over the course of one of my longest relationships.
Grey area verbal abuse makes it hard for you to tell who is an abuser and who is simply human, especially after coming from a place of prolonged abuse. How do you tell an abuser from someone unintentionally hurtful? This was a question I hadn't considered after I broke free from my narcissist.
Covert verbal abuse is a type of verbal abuse which can come in many forms and at many speeds. But at any rate, it can be detrimental to your self-esteem both during that relationship and as you live your life even after the abuse has stopped. Covert verbal abuse can have lasting effects that are just as impactful to your psyche as severe verbal abuse. It was really hard for me to identify this as the root behind a lot of my problems with confidence afterward.
Have you ever noticed how an abusive relationship makes you miss out on life? While thinking about what to write for this week's post, I became fixated on the fact I never got to see George Carlin perform live. I had the tickets, I was ready to go, but at the last minute, I decided to back out. It may seem insignificant, but missing his show over 10 years ago triggered an internal change that bettered my life. I learned to stop missing out on life, and it's all thanks to my narcissist.