Anxiety Has a Purpose; Know It and Beat Anxiety

Hi Tonya, I can’t believe I’ve not seen and read this before! I’m grateful that The HealthyPlace re-posts these as so many others.
You’ve hit on every subject of the causes of my anxieties. All 4 topics. I know the causes, I know I need to confront them when I’m feeling them in such paralyzing ways. Yet I can’t conquer them. MDD is also a HUGE factor, as is being disabled due to MDD since 2006. Then along came severe anxiety as my marriage to a covert narcissist, was finally learned through some great professionals. A psychiatrist who listened to find the root of my problems and an equally fabulous counselor who I considered a friend we became so I’m tune with each other. Each of them met my now ex spouse when he insisted on going to a few of my appts. THOSE caused huge turning points in starting to understand what I’d been going through. Each of them separately diagnosed my ex by proxy, as a very malignant manipulative covert narcissist! (To readers who may not know what I mean “by proxy”, it’s observing someone who’s not seeking treatment and by pure observation and dialogue they were able to clearly see what he was/is). He believed he ran those sessions and told them each what my problems were and what they should be doing about it. (He didn’t want me seeing anyone to begin with), and constantly condemned me and them for not treating me correctly. Ugh ? that was the beginning of my education in narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, etc. He had every trait. My mother also has many maternal traits as well as being overly controlling. I’ve since divorced that spouse in the divorce from hell that earned me the diagnosis of C-PTSD. What should have been a simple divorce was anything but. The court system caused me much grief and trauma as well. This has been 4 years divorced, 6 years total of separation/divorce with NO CONTACT NO REACTION to any of his still manipulative things he does all under the radar. I’ve isolated myself to the point I don’t leave the house. Depression is so thick around me it’s suffocating most days, AND then there’s all these different types of anxieties nobody gets. I’ve lost all friends and family, mostly my grown daughter from a first marriage who my now ex, (her ex step dad)successfully brainwashed into believing I’m the horrible evil person he in fact is. Losing her and my three young granddaughters has been the biggest devastation and heartbreak of all. He purposely set out to do that knowing she was my rock. He hated her. I kept that from her not to hurt her and it ended up in my face. I was once very respected and liked in my community and from my work. That’s no longer so. He publicly humiliated me many times, (but never in front of any family or friends. “The smear campaign” they’re also known for. I fear that loneliness is going to be what eventually makes me snap. I have my dog who I credit for my existence. Without her and her unconditional love there is no one else. I never in my life imagined this Ifot myself. I was once very vibrant and outgoing and that was squashed by my ex’s unfounded jealousy. Another trait that cheaters do to take the attention off of themselves. I didn’t mention that I loved this man like no one else before. That’s still hard to understand how I loved and was married 18 years to someone who’s lies were so believable I never doubted him or his fidelity. Sad when you learn they’ve never been capable of love for anyone but themselves. The day I told him to get out, with proof that fell into my hands of cheating he denied it all with rivers of tears. Tears that were another perfect performance, but I couldn’t deny the undeniable and insisted he leave. The very next morning when I got up and he’d slept on the couch that night, he’d already been up and a totally different man. I knew at that point I’d become his personal #1 enemy. I’ve been that ever since, and yet he’s still able to keep his enablers in check. I’ve dropped out of social media long ago and became ad private as you can be. Speaking to no one we once knew together including my family and old friends. No one, but no one understands what living and what kind of long term effects these emotional vampires have on you. I know only all too well.
Thank you for your time and this article. It explained all my sources of anxiety petfectjy. I am in a constant struggle to fight them and gain control

Mind if I ask what sources for this article are? Sounds like it would make interesting reading.

I like this article.. but sometimes is so hard to find an actual purpose of our anxiety. How can we look at it and see it clearly?