Emotional Flashbacks in Complex PTSD

Tonight I was reminded that the emotional flashbacks of complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) are ever present in my life. I was sitting in bed snuggled up next to my golden retriever, Miles. I could hear my daughter in the living room singing to the songs playing through her earbuds. The louder she sang, the more I felt like I was about to come out of my skin. I just wanted to scream "Shut up." The thing is though, when I stopped to think about why her singing was flipping me out, I realized it wasn't about her singing at all. I was actually dealing with one the hallmarks of C-PTSD -- an emotional flashback.

Identifying Emotional Flashbacks

Emotional flashbacks aren't as easy to spot as flashbacks that affect our senses. Seeing a cigarette triggers me, but when it does, I know the cigarette is the cause of the trigger and can remind myself my fear isn't necessary.

In an emotional flashback, we regress into the intense feelings of despair and anxiety we experienced during traumatic times as if we are a child experiencing them all over again. Often, we end up in the emotional flashback without even realizing a trigger occurred so it is difficult to recognize that the emotions we're feeling are from the past because they feel so true at the moment.

Tonight, my daughter's singing stirred up the intense shame and hurt I felt as a child whenever I dared show joy. My joy was usually instantly met with disdain, especially if I was singing out loud, so I learned to be afraid of showing happiness. My daughter's singing connected with my inner child's intense fear that punishment follows happiness, causing me to go from being relaxed next to Miles to slipping into extreme anxiety and feelings of worthlessness.

Signs you may be experiencing an emotional flashback include:

• Feeling helpless and hopeless -- Emotional flashbacks can leave you feeling small and lost in despair with no way out.
• Extreme emotional reactions that don't fit the situation -- My daughter's loud singing could have been annoying to me because I was enjoying the quiet, but my urge to scream at her and slam the door to escape her was way out of proportion to the situation.
• Feeling intense shame -- You begin to believe you shouldn't be seen in public or be around others.
• Your inner critic voice getting louder -- You give yourself a verbal bashing, become more self-critical and tend to catastrophize situations.

Take Control of Emotional Flashbacks

Emotional flashbacks are a common challenge when you live with C-PTSD. If you deal with them, you are not alone. Here are some tips to help you move through them.

• Remind yourself you are an adult with the resources and skills to cope with the situation at hand.
• Keep your boundaries in place to give yourself time to work through the flashback.
• Reassure your inner child that he/she is safe and the threats of yesterday are no longer present.
• Remind yourself the flashback will pass, just as others have.
• Seek support if you are having trouble moving out of the flashback.

I must admit that emotional flashbacks are one of my biggest challenges when it comes to healing from my childhood trauma. I still have times when I need my therapist to remind me I am safe and am experiencing feelings from a long time ago, but I'm getting better at it. When we continuously practice paying attention, we learn to identify emotional flashbacks and can reassure the child within us the threats of yesterday are gone, so as adults, we can enjoy the events of today.