Conditioned Emotions and Choosing
Getting Off The Rollercoaster
A conditioned emotion is one where you respond without awareness. What you feel, is then given expression through an automatic response.
Through our behaviour, many problems can be brought upon ourselves, and because of this we tend to think that such problems are an unavoidable and painful part of life. This way of thinking can be mistakenly justified when we suffer a misfortune that is not of our making. We then feel through such an incident that life is truly the source of all our problems. We find it easy to point blame and often refer to these incidents (consciously or not) to falsely obtain a strength to assert misguided beliefs.
If you can develop an awareness of this, you will then be able to give yourself a chance to foresee the potential of future problems before they unfold. By altering the unthinking conditioned behaviour through an awareness of it, will enable great expansions of thought and opportunities to be a part of your life.
From these unthinking reactions, we can turn events into real problems. Something which simply requires ones attention, can also be seen as a source of bother. This can happen when we procrastinate about jobs to be done. The more we delay, the louder the thing screams out to be done. What would have taken a little bit of effort in the beginning, can end up requiring a lot of effort as we struggle along with our other demands. When we attempt to make things easy for ourselves, we very often end up making it harder. Conditioned behaviour which continues to delay things, will always bring us future problems. Without doubt, it is these sorts of problems that are truly of our own making.
As I am writing this book, I am continually adding and fine tuning its contents. In this process of daily updates, I print the information at the end of each day so I can examine and edit it during the course of the following day. At times, I am tempted to think, "What a drag... all these changes and errors I have to deal with". But once again, the real me has seen the need for this process to be followed; it is the most efficient way for me to go about editing. However, the Ego steps in wanting to try alternatives to this editing process in an attempt to make things easy for me. "Easy"... but not necessarily effective in the long run.
The point I make here highlights how the Ego does try to work for us, but its motive in this case was a fear of extra effort. It is reluctant to consider concept of overall long term effects, and is often blind to the future benefits of the application of extra effort during the present moment. Within my own circumstance, my Ego did not know of the value of patience and as such, it wants satisfaction to be obtained without delay.
When pain comes into our life, the Ego very easily asserts itself by telling us it has some answers to our suffering. Since it shows us ways to kill the pain we are enduring, it is given power if we act upon the options that are put before us.
When the Ego has such command over our emotions and responses, our thinking is a mirror to the nature of fear, and it is from this thinking that we deny the long term consequences of particular choices, and go on to seek some source of contentment that will bring about the removal of our pain. After we begin to bear the consequences of our choices, we become illuminated to the folly of our ways to then suffer guilt, remorse, or some other negative emotion. The Ego, acting as it only knows and only can, will then put forth some other option for our choice in an attempt to ease the latest distress.
Mistrust is another conditioned response based upon passed experience, for it assumes that something that relates to one person or event, will hold true for other people or events. Truly, the world is neutral in it's input to our lives. It is our perception based on our experiences that will tend to distort this view.
There are many people that feel as I have felt, and that also feel as you feel now, yet so many are sadly unaware of the hidden true causes of their situation. So often the lack of truth is a cause of people being lead off their true path. Not only is it essential to obtain understandings of yourself for yourself, but the understanding and support of others... especially the understandings of people who are close to you, or who have at some time figured prominently in your life.
LOOKING AT ANGER:
Of all our conditioned responses, anger can be our greatest cause of unnecessary problems. Though it is as valid an emotion as any other, it can tend to be employed more often since it enables us to assert our thoughts quite powerfully. It is when the use of anger, (as with any other emotion) is inappropriate to the situation, that problems of our own making are born.
When you feel anger, something has happened to trigger the unwise and untrained Ego. You do not get angry for no reason, so whatever the situation was that prompted you to this feeling, will require some attention by yourself. Examine your thoughts and find out the exact thing which stirred up the emotion. Clear out assumptions and deal only in known quantities. Find out about things if you think they have relevance but don't assume.
"Will the situation be served by my anger ?"
"Will good things come about through energy motivated in this way ?"...
"Is my anger motivated from a fear of how this situation will impact on my comfort?"
When you understand all aspects of a situation that has stirred up anger, you will see the emotion begin to dissipate as the truth unfolds. For myself, I am able to take time out and separate the Truth and the fear that I see in situations. In a way, I can place fear in one hand and Truth in the other. When these two feelings mingle, the state of conflict or confusion exists. The separation process I talk of is clarity through contemplation, and it is brought about through the application of Peace in my thinking.
Now we are open to forgiveness of ourselves or of others if required, allowing us to release hurts or resentments. We can learn for ourselves, and at the same time provide learning for others. Truth will bring us peace through our efforts in seeking it, but we must be daring enough to search for it.
When the expression of any emotion reaches its peak, we then need to realise it is time to let it go. Even though the bulk of the energy has been dispersed, there is still a potential for wanting to cling to the feeling. When we choose to stay with it in this way, we nurture and maintain some negative seed of emotion. Here we see that it is vital to recognise our anger subsiding so we can begin to gather our peace again.
We will be prone to anger and frustration because it is part of our human make-up, so when we feel like this, we must always be ready to acknowledge the way we feel. Any emotion we feel requires attention, yet with our new Love and understanding, we also know that we don't have to hang on to them once they have passed. The thing that makes apparent negative emotions valid, (such as anger), is that they are at least able teach us the things we need to understand of ourselves and others. They allow us to come closer to being the whole people that we're supposed to be if we employ awareness.
When we express our emotion properly and face up to the situation that made us feel that way, we can rightfully come back to the present knowing that we have done our best in dealing with our problems. Awareness exercised in each situation will see ourselves develop with continuing positive progress.
MORE EXAMPLES ON AUTO PROBLEMS:
Have you ever given a cat a bath ? It's not a very pleasant or easy task. Have you ever given a cat a bath that's had them since it was a kitten ? I have, and truly, it's not a problem. It is conditioned through its experiences that there is no real problem. It knows that it has nothing to fear, but the cat that's never had a bath has nothing to relate this strange situation to. It then panics, runs away, and is very wet, very cold and very afraid. Through the behaviour related to it's experience, it is suffering. The reactions of both cats were conditioned from past events, but the cat who accepted being bathed has simply had more experience. If we want to own a clean cat and we know that bathing it regularly will ensure this for us, the longer we put off the training, the more our problems will be.
The job I have at the time of writing this book is staffed at minimum levels, and when someone goes on leave, it's very noticeable. I find anxiety can affect my performance if I choose to let it, but now in my new way of thinking, any encounter with a difficult problem doesn't mean I have to labour with it. I can take time out to consider other options and alternatives. If I am able to when circumstances allow, I then place the task aside and let my subconscious work on it as I attend to something else. I can do this with complete confidence that an answer will eventuate, because I believe an answer will eventuate. I know that there is never a need to panic because the answer is always close at hand. If I find myself getting nowhere with a problem, then I realise that I mustn't have enough information available. It is then up to me to make the required effort and gather more details. Now I am able to dramatically reduce the effect of old conditioned responses that would otherwise be a source of anxiety and frustration.
If your best efforts continue to be thwarted by frustration, then acknowledge that frustration openly. In your new way of thinking, there is no aspect of yourself that will ever be brushed aside. You understand that it is O.K. to have imperfections, and in doing so, you can wear them like medals. Say to yourself and others...
"Look!... this is me. Look!... I'm being me.
I'm not pretending to be someone else,
I refuse to deny myself to myself,
I'm not showing you just a part of me, just in case you don't like me!
What you see is the complete package".
When we are able to speak this way of ourselves, we will know that those who are uncomfortable with any part of our make-up, may not help or serve us in our personal development. If we need to hide any part of ourself in order to gain approval, we are inviting future problems and pain to visit us and it will be by choice.
One day I heard a friend of mine chastising her daughter for continually misplacing her library books. The unthinking conditioned response was to tell the child that she will never be allowed to use the library's facilities again. For the same situation, a loved based response would have seen an opportunity to develop "Responsibilities of Possessions", but through lack of, or limited awareness, the gift in the problem was lost. Though the mother did not exercise her threat to the child, the problem of misplaced books still exists today and the same old arguments continue to take place. Both people could have equally benefited from such a simple experience, but from this lack of awareness, the cycle continues.
How strange and wonderful life can be. It is lunchtime, and I am in the City Square in Melbourne. As I am writing these paragraphs, I hear a man calling out.. "Free samples!... Free samples!". I turn and look around to see that a stall has been set up to offer free samples of a new fruit drink to the public. The drinks are on ice and this very hot day has made me quite thirsty. My instinct is pleased, and the thought of a free cool drink is very appealing. However, my Ego steps in to try and invalidate my simple honesty by telling me not to be greedy, but through my efforts over many months, I am able to recognise what is happening to me. Instantly a second alternative rationalisation appears in my mind. "Perhaps you could unobtrusively walk over and ask quietly so that nobody will hear you". Once again, I am able to see what is happening. My instinct says that "A free drink is good... go for it". Why not ? I ask myself. So I do, and walk over and say in a clear distinct voice that other people could quite easily hear if they wanted to...
"Can I have one please?".
"Sure !", came a reply.
The drink is very refreshing, and I've grown just that little bit more, I have expanded my awareness and seen how my Ego can have the power to limit my life if I let it. I can also see how shyness closes doors. Somewhere within me, there is a part of me that has known a powerful form of denial in my childhood. This event has left such a strong impression upon me, that I have carried it's indelible mark into my adult life. The unconscious event of days of old, is the reference for the days of now. But I am not bound anymore for I have discovered the power of Love, and the power of Knowledge.
Life is full of many opportunities for growth and expansion of awareness. In every day, there will be an chance to serve your growth. Open your eyes, your Alarm has gone off and it's time to rise. Stay awake. It's time to start THINKING, it's time to Live.
The human Spirit is peaceful by Nature.
it is external influences and the way in which
we choose to address them, is what tends to erode that Peace.
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Staff, H. (2008, November 30). Conditioned Emotions and Choosing, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, October 17 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/still-my-mind/conditioned-emotions-and-choosing