advertisement

Life with Bob

“Mom always liked you best!” Tommy Smothers made the lament famous; every sibling has likely heard it. But for those with mentally ill siblings—could there be some truth to it?
As I noted in a previous blog post, my son, Bob, who has bipolar disorder and ADHD, made it through his first week of third grade—albeit with some problems. Last Monday—the first day of Week 2—I received my first phone call of the year from the principal. Here we go again.
The first time I sat in a psychiatrist’s office, it was for myself. He scared me. He wasn’t anything like the mom-like therapists I was used to. He barely made eye contact. He asked me a few questions, to which I gave rambling answers. He scribbled. He left the room, returning after a few minutes to hand me a prescription and bid me farewell. I’ve since visited a multitude of psychiatrists—for my own benefit and for Bob’s, my son with bipolar disorder—and found that first experience pretty typical.
The first full week of school is behind us. (Insert sigh of relief.) And even though problems surfaced, we survived.
  I’ve long been a fan of the Rudyard Kipling poem, “If.” If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you… I can relate to this verse. I’m sure all parents of mentally ill children can. Often the greatest challenge we face is not going stark raving mad ourselves.
The days leading up to the first day of school can be more nerve-wracking for parents of mentally ill children than trying to decipher your health insurance coverage. So how did school go for me and my bipolar child? Find out in my video post!
Last July, Bob’s psychiatrist handed me prescriptions for lithium, Seroquel, Clonidine, and Focalin. We had discussed this before. Using lithium to treat childhood bipolar disorder was his "last resort", something he waited to prescribe until nothing else worked for Bob. Lithium? Had it come to that? What if even lithium didn’t work?
(Part 1: For Children with Mental Illness, Right Teacher Key to School Success) As second grade approached, I was determined to make it a better year. I met with the principal to discuss classroom placement; specifically, I wanted to ensure that my son Bob, who has childhood bipolar disorder, wouldn’t be placed with all “problem” kids, since noise and chaos would exacerbate his own behavior issues. I also wanted to address parent/teacher communication, so I could closely monitor his progress. Further, I wanted to contact his teacher prior to the start of the year, so we could address my concerns before the hectic first days. Luckily, the principal agreed.
In a popular t.v. commercial, a Dad skips through the aisles of an office supply store, giddily tossing notebooks and pencils into his cart while his children glare at him. The accompanying music is untimely but fitting--”It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” The ad is meant to humorously demonstrate how differently kids and parents perceive the start of the school year. Most parents delight in the end of pricey summer care and/or the constant “I’m bored!” cries of their offspring. Parents of MI kids are no exception--although we may have more anxiety over the new school year than most.
The summer before Bob started kindergarten, I signed him up for teeball. I’m still not sure what I was thinking. I’m not a sports fan and have always refuted the argument kids need involvement in team sports to be fulfilled. I guess there was something about the image of Bob in a tiny uniform that must have persuaded me. Whatever it was, we found ourselves on a team.