Introduction to Mel Bender, Author of ‘Relationships and Mental Illness'

My name is Mel Bender. I’m thrilled to be joining HealthyPlace as an author for the Relationships and Mental Illness blog. I’m a freelance writer, blogger, and artist living in Toronto, Canada.

I come to this blog not as an expert on relationships but as someone who has learned a lot about them the hard way. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since childhood and went on to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was in my early twenties. I’ve also been diagnosed with complex posttraumatic stress disorder (complex PTSD; C-PTSD). I have no doubt that my struggle with mental illness has significantly impacted relationships in every area of my life.

Mel Bender’s Experience with BPD, C-PTSD, and Relationships

It’s by burning a lot of bridges that I’ve gained the most knowledge about what to do and what not to do in my interactions with the people I care about. Over the years, I’ve struggled to maintain friendships and have experienced strained relationships with family members. I’ve also found dating to be very challenging to navigate. Because I have complex PTSD, I get triggered frequently during dates, which can be very frustrating and embarrassing. In addition, living with BPD, I deeply fear rejection and abandonment, which has led to a lot of jealousy and mistrust in my romantic relationships.

While there are many things I wish I’d done differently in the past, I believe it’s never too late to change. All of us can learn how to show up for the people in our lives better than before. When we know better, we do better.

For more about me and how important I consider navigating relationships to be, watch this:

Mel Bender Uses Her Experience to Help Others

At this phase of my life, I’m much more focused on building bridges than burning them. Through my writing, I hope to share the knowledge I’ve gained to connect with people who have struggled to foster healthy relationships in their own lives. I look forward to exploring the world of relationships and mental illness with you here on this blog.