5 Tips to Deal with Negative Talk About Body Image

A few people have recently asked me how I deal with negative talk about body image when comments are made around me. While the following five tips are my ways of coping, I think they are universal enough to perhaps help you, too, when you find yourself in these types of situations:

1) Know Yourself

First of all, recognize that you have to lead by example. If you’re ready to ask of others to clean up their body talk around you, be ready to do the same around them. This is where therapy and soul searching help. Try to ask yourself if you might be the offender towards others sometimes, or if your actions may attract that kind of talk. The latter isn’t about sounding the victim, but sometimes by choosing situations we put ourselves in harm’s way. These are important questions to ask yourself. The answers you find might completely change your outlook on body image in general.

2) Create Boundaries

Know what behavior and conversations you tolerate and which cross your line in the sand. Take a stand for yourself when others cross it. For example, when I’m stressed, I know I have less tolerance for certain comments or topics surrounding body image. Prime example: if someone says “I feel fat," while internally I cringe, I have two choices… I can share with them how ‘fat’ is not a feeling and take this as an opportunity to educate others and share what I’ve learned over the years in eating disorder recovery, or I can ignore the comment. Sometimes I’ll start an interesting discussion, but when stressed, I’ve learned to let it slide without engaging in it.

3) Don’t Take it Personally

A lot of people speak without thinking, and rarely realize that what they say could hurt sensitive people around them. Even those suffering from the same illness as yours may not realize the impact of what they say because they may be at a different stage in their recovery. The key is to develop compassion for others while you heal. In my case, it meant realizing that others have their own demons to deal with. How they’re dealing with them is none of my business unless they ask for my opinion or advice. It also means realizing that their comments may be a reflection of how they feel below the surface; they could be suffering, and their words are their way to try to make the best of it.

4) Prepare Yourself

If you find yourself in similar uncomfortable situations over and over, try to anticipate what could happen during and how you will respond. If you know you will go into a situation which you can prepare for ahead of time, it might be worth it to plan how you could mitigate certain triggers. The act of preparation is in itself sometimes calming enough to help you see yourself through.

5) Control What You Can

This may be linked to my prior point, or with time is something you can do on the fly. Taking control over a potential difficult situation and making it your own is the best way I’ve found to avoiding triggers . If you know some people or situations inevitably make you uncomfortable, try to avoid them. If you can’t, find a way to minimize the interaction. When that isn’t even possible, pretend to listen, but take it as an opportunity to soul search. Ask yourself: Why is this situation bothering me so much? What could make me ok with this situation/person? What if it didn’t affect me this way, how else could I feel? What if I changed my perception or let the comments slip off my back?

What about you? What do you do when body image talk gets to you? Has it affected your recovery process? Speaking of recovery process, make sure to check out Jess's latest post on coping skills. I've said it before...recovery is no solo trip! I'm glad both Jess and anyone reading this blog has been a part of mine! Thank you for being there guys!

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