3 Ways Eating Disorders Make Us Feel Invisible

Eating disorders can make us feel invisible. If we’re anorexic, strangers stare at us on the street, watch cautiously as we order coffee taking note of the calorie content, perhaps feeling confusion or pity in their hearts for us. If we’re bulimic or have binge eating disorder, we may weigh a “normal” weight so we may not be stared at or confronted by family or friends, but inside we’re holding a heavy monster of a secret. No matter what specific form our eating disorder takes, there’s a level in which eating disorders makes us feel invisible.

The irony of invisibility, in the eating disorder, is that we may have begun the disorder seeking to be special, unique, or to stand out from the crowd. We wanted to be seen. We were seeking to be superhuman. We might not have thought of it as being superhuman, but we wanted to be set apart, shielded from pain or anxiety, and in control. The eating disorder offered us a safe level of distance, like being in a bubble. The downside is that control came at the huge cost of disconnection and invisibility.

Eating Disorders Make Us Feel Invisible to Ourselves

We want to be seen for the goodness that is in us. We long to be loved, safe, and secure. We desire to love and be proud of ourselves. We want to be happy with our reflection staring back in the mirror.

We thought the eating disorder was the solution. However, it lied (Why We Believe Eating Disorder Lies). The more we went down the rabbit hole, the worse we felt about ourselves. In poured shame, guilt, and worthlessness. The happiness we sought eluded us. We began to looe parts of ourselves to the eating disorder, like being eaten from the inside out (How To Put Your Eating Disorder Recovery First). One day we may not exist, like a slow fade of us, while the eating disorder remains taking up residence in our skin.

Eating Disorders Make Us Feel Invisible to Others

The further we venture down an eating disorder rabbit hole, we realize the self-confidence we sought has given way to tentative insecurity. We may begin shut others out if they bring up anything that suggests concern about our food or bodies.

When you have an eating disorder people don’t know what to do. Both strangers and loved ones vacillate between wanting to say something and not wanting to push too much into your life. They fear you’ll lash out at them or disconnect from the relationship. Our loved ones may respond with anger, hurt, tears, and confusion.

In the end, we still feel that even the ones that love us the most don’t understand what we’re going through (Importance of Social Support During Addiction Recovery). We feel invisible, even with the people we love the most.

Eating Disorders Make Us Feel Invisible to God

Many of us are taught to believe that God is out there and that God loves us. In the eating disorder, it becomes difficult to rectify that a higher power that loves us would let us suffer and struggle, especially if we want to be healed.

During the recovery process of any addiction, we will circle round to that place we’ve felt abandoned by a higher power or were left to struggle alone. It’s a deep wound to feel that we’ve been invisible to something that has infinite power.

When we feel invisible to ourselves, our loved ones, and with God, it’s difficult to muster the strength to move forward towards recovery. But there is a cure for feeling invisible: be honest and share your secret.

Watch How to Overcome Feeling Invisible in Your Eating Disorder

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